Cold Feet or Bad Attitude

In my opinion ,this is quite normal,before marry ,they are two independent person,but after get married,they built kind of relationship,they treat each other as the most close person,just like another self.See,is there anything u cant share with yourself?

Hi Flash! I think that's what you call "wedding jitters"? I'm not really sure because I haven't experienced it. But I've heard stories of the bride or groom having wedding jitters to the point of getting depressed and thinking of postponing the wedding. Maybe it's just like you said. They are stressed out with the preparations. Stress can really make someone crazy and angry. I hope they can get over it and push through with the wedding. Good luck to your friends.

I find it strange that they would be like that with you around. I guess, it's a show off to you, so you will know who calls the shot between the two. And i hope that's just the case. But yes, it's normal for couples to fight on trivial things. When that happens to me and my husband , i would usually just do what needs to be done. At least i can show to him that i love him that much and he needs to reciprocate it or else. . .

Hopefully it's just pre-wedding jitters. I think some nervousness is natural, but if it's over the top that is worrisome. I hope they can talk about it and recognize it is just tension before the wedding. I think about everyone I know..especially the guys have said they were nervous before the ‘big day’ but at the same time that wasn’t an indication at all that they wanted to back out.

Hello dear friend. I do not experience such things related to wedding but I remember our first neighbours. On the beginning there were loving and polite couple. They moved in in September. Around Christmas there was no day without fight. They were breaking plates and glasses we were worried that they were some kinds of psychos. Around new years the fights stopped. Also we did not see them at all. Around February we called to our landlords and asked about this couple. We were really worried that he killed her and run away. The landlords said that they were moved one night, leaving money on the table and small note. That was weird. They were starting fight about 6 am and finishing it around midnight.

hopefully its just them getting stressed out as the wedding gets closer. but i don't know. i got married once, and though it seemed like a good idea at the time, i regretted it a bit too soon afterwards, so i'm not necessarily a good judge on this. i think the problem with relationships is that there is a power struggle that goes on within them, and there are also habits. so as we try to create power for ourself in a relationship we develop habits of behaviour, some of which, if they continue can bring about a quite quick deterioration in the relationship. i suppose the act of getting married changes the power balance again, possibly in the mans favour, but i'm not sure on that, as it sort of legally does, but not necessarily really does. so maybe now the marriage is approaching they have entered into a new stage in the power struggle, and are trying to assert who makes coffee, and who cooks dinner, and all that sort of thing. i preferred not to engage in that sort of argument, and used to just leave the washing up until the ex husband gave in and did it. which might be why i'm no longer married, as it used to annoy me when he complained, as i like a man who enjoys cooking!

My guess is it is the stress before the wedding. Especially since on the surface it is so trivial. Add to that the fact that you are spending time there and it probably is worse, no matter how much they like you and usually have you around. Subconsciously, it is one last time to be sure he/she loves me, by trying to drive them away, and hoping that they stay. It will get better, and they will learn to talk about what really is bothering them, not just the coffee.

oh okay..i think that's a bit too odd. i mean they should not be fighting like that its just preparation for the wedding and they should not let themselves be ruined because of the wedding.. what about the real marriage issues... ?

Preparing for a wedding is stressful. But i think it is normal. Couples fight. But we need to be patient and accept each others likes and dislikes. Good couples handle their relationship well. Love, respect and understanding is what a couple should have.

No,I haven't seen anything like that before between two people who are about to get married,and if they have arguments for any petty thing that means that they can't have a normal and solid relationship and their marriage won't resist,it is doomed from the very beginning,so I guess they need to have a really serious conversations and see if they can work out their problems,or simply break up,it's better to do that now than later when the separation will be more painful,especially if they have kids.

Yeah I have seen things like this before. To be honest, it is nerves.. but not in the sense you would think. I feel that when people make a commitment to get married, when they are happy and inlove, and all they can think about is their blissful marriage together, everything else gets brushed under the carpet.. but the ,looming date over peoples heads can sometimes bring things to light that they hadn’t really thought of.. For example, the coffee in the morning. This was probably never an issue before, because whoever was up first, made it. Or possibly they had a system. Girl always makes coffee, man always does something else.. but with a commitment like that impending, it can become easy to turn such trivial nonsense into something big, because once married, it’s like it’s something that cannot be erased. If they go into married life, with the woman always making the coffee, that will become “the way it is” .. and possibly this coffee making routine is seen as a mans shakle on a womens foot? If you get what I mean? It’s like people like to nip things in the bud before they get too far, or too familiar.. and what was probably acceptable when they were “dating” or in a “relationship” and doing things to make each other happy.. may seem like a chore, with the stress and nerves, and essentially being “trapped”.. Just my views anyway. How are you? :)

This is normal. We were exactly like this with my husband, getting irritated about who to initiate doing such things. But this only happened at our first week together after the wedding. I think what you saw was clearly "wedding jitters". They were stressed out about the whole wedding preparations and all. And I think that they were already seeing the reality after the wedding- the married life. Haha. I just hope that they will make it to their wedding day without either of them running away. By the way, Hello Flash! t'was long time catching up with you. God bless!