I do not know what to do.

Oh , indahfth, i am so sorry to hear that. And i don't know too of what to advise you because i don't really know your culture. But if that happens to me , i would leave him . What's the use of being with him, if there is no love for me anymore. I have to leave lest i may be able to do something bad to him out of my anger for being jilted like that. I am sorry, but i think , it is best if you leave him and live on your own.

I'm sorry to hear your story. be patient and stay strong. It is impossible Allah gives the test that goes beyond our ability to endure. Allah may give it a test of failure and loss to us to teach us wisdom. Perhaps, failures, problems, and an unpleasant environment is part of the scenario of Allah in nurturing ourselves. hopefully you can be patient and learn to deal with all sincerity. Keep Spirit, mrs. indah.

indahfth I am so very sorry! You have not been happy for a while and I guess your fears in regards to your husband have been realised. It is a very painful experience I know and it will take time for your heart to heal. It is positive to hear that your husband feels responsible for you and will not leave you uncared for. I will send prayers your way. I hope you can resolve this situation as best you can. Give yourself some time and when you can think clearly you will have to talk to your husband again in regards to what you both want to do. It is a difficult time for you and you will require yourself to be very strong. It may not mean much to you now but remember there is a reason for everything and if you and your husband do end up going your separate ways there may be happiness for you elsewhere and should you decide to stay together and work things out it may be for a better marriage. Hang in there and be strong. Things will work out in time. Hugs to you.

I cannot understand why you stil have to live with him despite the fact that he does not love you anymore.. If I am the husband I would leave my wife so as to give her the freedom to do what is best for her... It's unfair to hold her...That is my opinion but if you insist on living together despite of what happened then it's your decission... And if you could read between the lines he means that you should separate... it's that plain and simple...

iam sorry to hear that.. it`s a bigger "examination" for you.. this is Ramadhan and now God give you a hard "examination" but i do believe He had special plan for you.. so now what is your solution?? want to separate from your husband or??

If he doesn't love you anymore and is giving you your freedom, be happy then. I remember your previous topic having fear with your husband and same with your kid who is also having fear with the father. So, this is a good chance for you and your kid to be happy and free. Make sure he will provide all the responsibility (financially) before letting you go. have a great weekend jaiho®

Your marriage isn't hopeless when he is still concern of your welfare. Don't leave even though hubby's actions is a fundamental breach of the marital contract by two timing you. Have the courage to stay tough and hang in there, and hopefully one day you'll have the husband you deserve. Men are born hunters and they will keep hunting but in the end they will always come back to their legal wives.

Hi Indahfth, I'm sorry that you are going through all of this. I know it is hurtful. Your husband is right...he IS responsible for you. I think you should let him help you to move forward toward a life of your own and one in which you may be able to find real love. You deserve that and he owes you that much.

Your husband is making me angry. How dare he view you as selfish while he is loving another woman. In fact in your country can he have more than one wife???

Oh, boy, that must have been awful! The one thing missing in the above is... whether you love him. If you're IN love with him, letting go is going to be very painful and difficult. You can't change someone else's feelings, so you're going to have to decide what to do: stay living a lie (and probably make him like you less, since he'll feel trapped by his responsibility) or move on and suffer the pain of the loss - which is better in the long run but ohhhhh, it's gonna hurt. If you love him but aren't IN love (i.e. you care because you're used to him and you like him but you don't go all mushy inside about him), then it'll be easier to move on. On the good side, I must say that I'm impressed by your husband's honesty and also his willingness to be fair to you. Most guys would just treat their lady like crap and leave them with nothing but he obviously cares a great deal for you and loves you (perhaps) more as a friend, even if it's not the romantic kind of love. Obviously you can't make him love you, so your choice is to make a life for yourself somewhere else. It sounds like you can count on him to be - although this will sound very strange - a very true friend who will help you wherever he can. That is honestly pretty awesome, although I know you don't think that right now. Sounds like it's time to decide what you'd like to do with your life and try to treat it as a new start. There's nothing you can't do now. You can have your freedom AND you'll have the support you need to start fresh. A whole new life and, if you can think of him that way, a good friend who was honest with you about the things that are the most difficult to be honest about.

If you both agree to go separete ways, that's a start. Then if your husband are willing to support you and your children, that a responsible gesture as long as you'll need it. Make an agreement written and signed by both of you with witness that your husband pay an amount of money for you and for your children for each month until you can manage yourself. Hopefully you will create a new life for you and your children, but let it take time for your to accept the new situation of living.

Hi Indahfth, I'm not sure what to say here, but I have seen other discussions where you were not happy with your husband. If your husband makes you scared, that isn't love. You didn't say if you love him or not.. but if you don't love him and he doesn't love you, and he is only staying out of responsibility, it's now reason to stay with him. If he is having an affair with another woman, he is disrespecting you and he should just leave and be with her, rather than make a fool out of you. Your friends and his friends most likely know what is going on, or suspect it anyway... why torture you with his having another woman on his arm. Was this an arranged marriage between you? I feel it is so wrong to marry out of obligation or have parents decide your future. I live in America, so I am not bound by those kinds of traditions where women are powerless to lead their own lives, and are mere property of a man. I don't know what to tell you, but I feel bad for you also. I think your husband needs to put the energy he puts into another woman into his relationship with you.

I almost lost words about this...... You have BIG PROBLEMS in your life but you must move on. Feeling sorry not gonna help you but take some actions will. I know that you educated person (if don't, you wouldn't be here right now), so I only suggest a few steps that you may follow: 1. Evaluate your life. It necessary to know what kind advantages or weakness that you had. 2. Keep think positive. Had these problems doesn't mean END OF THE WORLD. Clear your mind and think positively. 3. If possible, try to find job that you capable with .... or ...... create one 4. Talk with your kid about this. Children sometimes can't accept "Parents relationship problem", talk with them (heart to heart) might help them through with this. Pray to GOD may help but GOD only help if you some actions in your life. God bless you.

Well if he doesn't love you anymore, than let him go. Both of your lives are going to be miserable if you stay together.

Hi, indahfth. I am very sorry to hear about this. If your husband no longer loves you anymore, then I think that you should really considering moving on with your life. You don't need anyone in your life that is going to drag you through a muddy ground. Your husband was wrong to cheat on you with another woman. It will be hard for you to deal with this, but with God's strength, you will be able to move past this situation with joy and peace sooner or later.

sorry to hear that. it's really not easy to accept that. if you still love him don't let the relationship end. but if you love him more and he wants to be separated, let him go. it is much difficult to be together when there is no more love for each other.

It sounds as if your husband has moved on. Now you need to. It is sad but it is also a part of life. People fall out of love and move on. Why are you angry? Hurt maybe? I would wonder if you could not find someone to make you happy and get you through this. Time will tell i think.

Love him as best you can. Love him however he lets you. Just pretend he loves you, and how would you treat him if he loves you.

Hi Indah...! Sorry for my emotional response. Its just made me mad to reads how your husband treated you and you still giving respect to him, something I don't think he deserve. Maybe I really understand your situation and your reason to let him manipulate you. If he leave you he had obligation to support you and your child even if you had your own salary.

It is a very complicated situation. I know it is very painful for you when your husband said those words. I guess, if he will still stay with you though he loves someone else, accept him and keep the pain inside yourself. Maybe, your husband is just going through something, stay with him and continue loving him. In time, he'll realize your worth. But, if he wanted to let you go and be with the girl, that will be the problem. Hope you'll be okay sooner.