Do you think love is worth sacraficing happiness??

I do honestly think there might be some issues at least with the anger managment a doctor might be able to help with. I think that's great advice, and you are an honest and caring friend here to me at mylot and i value your opinion. I will take it all onboard, we have discussed counselling before and I think it's an option we should look into more. Thanks for letting me know about the subsudised sessions to, I'll have to see what's available to me here. This is the last thing i want plauging my mind before bed. I would much preffer a cuddle. Thank you for your advice celtic.

You are so welcome. A counselor can help to delve into personal issues that plague a good relationship. Good luck to you!

Yes i know and i have calmed down alot through the venting here on mylot! Thanks for your response. Good Advice.

You sound exactly like my best friend. Its always hard for friends on the outside who dont want to see you hurt yet will never understand why your so attached to this one person. Im very guilty of getting frustrated with her cause she clearly knows she can do better and be happier but for some reason doesnt. We just gotta put ourselves in eachothers shoes, if it was my bf who started acting like yours, its kind like. I know theres a good sweet guy in there you have been before. So you kind of stick around waiting for him to come out cause you fully believe he will eventually. Im sure youll figure it out, just tell your friends to cool it cause time is a crappy yet necessary thing lol

Yes it must be hard to watch for my friends and family. I have been hurt alot in this relationship, things that i could never do to someone i loved. And spiteful things that you wouldn't expect from someone who is suppossed to love you. I think time is important, That sweet person is there alot of the time now but i still see the nasty one...

Everyone says that, everyone that knows me want's me to move on. Everyone that cares about me says i shouldn't be with him, but it's just so hard to give up on a dream you so strong. Love works in mysterious ways, but it works!

Im glad we can relate. The problem that I see the most and Im VERY guilty of it...is everone wants to be THE girl. The girl that was worth it enough... Have you ever seen hes just not that into you..if not go watch it. It sounds kinda stupid but we want to be the exception to the rule and watching the movie is the best way to explain. Ive hung on to crappy relationships I didnt even really care about with guys who werent even that nice because they werent the type to settle, they werent the relationship type etc etc. And i stupid as I am stuck around because I thought maybe I was the girl that was worth it enough for them to change their tune. The exception for the guy who never dates, to be that one girl that was worth him dating. And its kind of a stupid way to see it haha.. But after all those stupid boys I found my one. I found him at the worst possible timing of LIFE. But they always say good things come when you absolutely least expect it. We werent going to even date because the timing was so bad and then we were kinda like. Whats the point of throwing away something we want just because we met a few months sooner then we ideally would have wanted to.He was just getting out of a relationship I had just gotten out of a messy one and we are both really young and wanted to live life without worrying about anyone else. Losing eachother wasnt worth the few months of living carelessly though. I dont mean to write you a book here, but it pains me to see someone who knows they deserve better but dont go for it. Before I met my current boyfriend I was madly in love with another guy who I dated for a while. He was perfect in every which way. But for some reason he just wasnt the guy for me. And I just realized it one day. It hurt just as much to be with him as it was to be without him. To me it was like. K whats the point, my heart hurts when your here and my heart hurts when your gone, shouldnt be this way helloooo.. so i broke it off. Was not fun trust me. But hey, you only have one life, live it however you want. Its liek just out of no where one day I was like hey, this isnt gonna be my forever, cause Im not satisfied with this lol. kind of a rediculous story but its just trying to explain you may think youve found the one.. where there could very well be someone even better for you just around the corner

OMG YES! He is my first love that i got back and am so scared to lose again. I feel so lost at the moment, but it's nice to know that someone out there can understand exactly where i am coming from even though I hate the situation i am in but can't find a solution. I want one more than life itself! I agree that noone is worth losing yourself for and that's exactly what i am doing and the last thing i wanted but i can't handle the thought of letting go! I have lost love before and i can't imagine doing it again by choice. I hope that oneday we can be happy together, I honestly want to be the girl of his dreams because i believe that he is the man of mine. I want him to be the one i go through life with and accepting that this isn't going happen isn't something i even want to think about. I know your right that's the worst part. It's almost as if i just have to watch my dream turn to a nightmare before my eyes without being able to stop it. No... you were pretty close. Found the words i couldn't.

Oh and yes i am super shy around him because i actually care what he thinks of him or want to impress him i think to much about things... When i am with other people i tend to relax alot more and have alot of fun, because i only care what he thinks i guess i can be my stupid and fun self the rest of the time. I hate always feeling like i am not good enough always wondering if what your doing is enough. Gaah... love and life is so hard!

Thankyou so much! It's great to know that someone thinks your worthy of more than you expect for yourself in life. I know that life is what you make it and that my partner should love me for who i am without having to justify everything and sacrafice all my friends. I hate so much being alone, but that's all part of a long distance relationship. I am willing to try. This is the man that i will give my all to even if he deserves it or not and then when it all get's thrown back in my face i will hate all men including the good guys that might treat me right. I think their is so much useful advice here and I really enjoyed reading everyones posts! Your support means alot to me and I am very thankful to you all for helping me through this hard time! Thankyou also for your compliments. I know that their are a few other guys who would like to take his place, but love doesn't work like that. I am an all or nothing sort of lover!! You make a good point that you never know until you try but i have a hard time giving up on the dream, I feel as though i would do anything to make it a reality. I really want to please this man. Even thinking of him i smile... When i shouldn't because he has been totally disrespectful all weekend and is just feeling bad about it now. You seem like one of those really nice guys i should be with. I know that bad boys treat girls bad but i do want to change him so much. I know how much he loves me. I just want everyone else to be able to see the things only i usually get to see. You have made some great points and given me alot to think about as usual! Thanks alot spike.

You make some really obvious and valid points. I do appreciate your honesty. I know that you mean what you are saying and that it is almost blatently obvious to everyone else. I know I deserve to be respected and to feel loved. It not that I'm not being poiled enough i have just been feeling really lonely and lost and want someone I can count on. I know that my choices are not wise, But love takes over and you can't deny it! Have you ever been inlove? I have tried to describe how I really feel about this guy and as much as i can about our relationship and his feeling towards me. I'm not as smart as you, that's quite obvious... but I'm being honest with you and respect the honest and caring advice in return.

You're easily as smart as me (or anyone else here) - you're just blinded by love. And yes, I tend to be a bit blunt sometimes but it's always with the utmost respect. Your life is yours to do whatever you want with - I just open my big mouth when people ask for opinions. I have, indeed, been in love. Two or three times. One of them was very much like this situation of yours (with me as you, if you see what I mean) and she ended up cheating on me. I call her "PBFH" - the Psycho B***h From Hell. I may have spent two years recovering from that relationship but I'm SO glad she cheated on me. Otherwise I might still be with here and that would, in all honesty, be horrible. You don't need to be spoiled (though it's always nice!) - you need to be trusted. My lady trusts me implicitly even though she's the jealous type. There's one particular ex-colleague who I can't even mention without her eyes going green (so I don't) but I know for an absolute fact that, if I wanted to go and have lunch with said ex-colleague (who is very much my type and me hers - hence the problem), she'd say nothing because she trusts me. And she's right, because there'd be a zero per cent chance of anything happening. Sometimes you need other people to open your eyes to how daft you're being, as I did with PBFH. You know it, I know it, they all know it (and I reckon even he knows it): the only question is whether you act on it or accept being a second-class person.

I do love him and know that he loves me. I also know how much i hate living away from him and how lonely it can be, i don't hate him for wanting to go out drinking with friends, but i think the lack of trust makes me wonder about his respect or me and being faithful. I don't know if it's worth throwing my whole relationship away for, He's the man i dreamed of spending my life with and we have been together nearly two years.

Could the problem maybe be that you two are away from each other? And I've been in the kind of relationship were he can do bad but I can't do anything of the such.

And for me it preety aggravating.

I asked cause whenever I wanted to see the ex in question I always had to go to him he never came to me. Deserve better than that.

That's horrible. I can relate it makes you feel so unloved and unwanted. I hate that empty feeling what other choice do i have but to love him when i can only leave him and have to live without him all the time. We come to each other a lot of the time i go to him but it's not always at my expense and he has come down to see me and pick me up drop me off etc. I used to have my own car but now it's broken thanks to him. hmmmmmm

Yes that is very true! I wish it was true in my relationship. Thankyou for your response. Your words mean alot to me, I don't think that happiness has ever been that simple for me but maybe that's the problem.

Thankyou very much for your response and caring advice. Everyone's advice has given me alot to think about. I hope that it gets better we were living together before and I did still have some roblems with jealousy then, but i think we have overcome most of that. I do think that being by his side would make him alot better at trusting me. It is a very hard thing to put your trust in someone you love and hope not to get hurt. I know and i want us to be happy together! It's really a big dream of mine. Thanks.

That's exactly how a friend would say it Jen. Thankyou for your caring and honest advice. I think there is alot of truth in what you say and i don't know what i would do without my mylot friends here to support me with the questions i would normally only ever think and not say out loud. I havn't read that discussion yet but i will get to it if i can find it Jen. There has been so much great advice here. I know that you speak the truth and are thinking of what's best for me but i don't want to let go of this love yet... I'm just not ready, there is something bigger tying me to this man! I really do love him with all my heart the thought of living without him shatters me. Thanks so much for your response, I appreciate it alot.

My love is being tested so much i don't know if it's worth all the pain. I know there is struggle and sacrifice in love and i keep telling myself that we will see brighter days ahead.

Yes i think that we should both share our feelings more our hopes dreams and wishes for the future. I think the best path to hapiness is understanding each other and being there for each other. I will never fall out of love with this man. I know he does love me also.