I don't know what to do now. Should I hater her at this time?

Philippines
August 29, 2011 6:17am CST
Hello Mylotters, I don't know if you still remember my post about my sister who had a child but no husband. At that time, she was pregnant and I posted my feelings about that matter and I even asked advice from you guys. I did raise the child and she is so adorable. She's now one and a half year old. She's living with me and I am the one who buys milk and everything for that little one. She's an angel. But... the mistake that my sister made a year ago happen again. I just got a message from my younger sister telling me about the bad news.. or maybe a good news. I don't know. I feel like...(sobbing) I spend half of my money to raise that child and another child???? i don't know. I sacrificed a lot. My boyfriend even bothers a lot. Why an earth happens this thing again? What was she thinking??? I HATE her. I even hate her more than before. I don't know what to do now. I don't know. Should I go for abortion? Should I let the child born and go for adoption? should i raise another child? I am totally confused. What should i do now?? Tell me...................
3 people like this
12 responses
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
29 Aug 11
I think it is a sickness in itself. A flirty person do not have anything better to do except to create a nuisance of herself not realizing that her actions is embarrassing and a disgrace to her family. I quite understand how you feel having a problematic sibling. I am experiencing just that myself. I have an adopted daughter who got herself pregnant at a very young age of 15 and when the baby was born she suggested that I gave her up for adoption which I did. The baby is now a year old and is adopted by a childless couple. My daughter assured me that she will not repeat her stupidity again. But to my horror she ran away from home recently and left notes saying that she is eloping with her boyfriend. I am in the lost now as I do not know where she has gone to. I reported the matter to the police and up to now I have no news of her and hopefully the police can track her where-about. She is now 17 years old and hopefully she is in good hands.
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
You know what zandi.. sometimes.. I just hope that she would run away and never let me see her again. It happened once or twice. She ran away from home but in the end when she needed my help she would call me. Or she would go home. It's hard for me not to help her since she's my sister. And, I made a promise to my late father that i would take care of them. So I guess i should never deny them.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
29 Aug 11
As an elder sister it is your duty to shelter your sibling and lead her to the right paths in life. I am glad that you kept your promise you made to your late father.
@haopee (494)
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
Hey tess. I'm sorry to hear that about your sister. You seem to be the responsible one. I have a sister just like you. She is responsible and loving. She disciplines me but rewards me for my accomplishment. She allows me to make my own decisions for my life yet she guides me so I won't make irreversible mistakes. I can only advise this much basing it on how my sister constantly handles all of us (she is the middle child). Let your sister decide. As for her daughter that you are taking care of, if you're willing to take the child into custody, adopt her. And The next babe coming your way, tell your sister to decide for herself. Sometimes younger sisters need to be given the freedom of choice to finally realize that it's time to act as adults. Don't stress yourself too much because maybe your sister does not understand the gravity of her mistake yet and you'll be alone in your suffering.
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
Hey haopee! I just wish i do have the same sister as you have now. You're very lucky. Don't get me wrong. I know I am also lucky to have my sisters with me. But.. you've got better sisters than me. I hate to say this but I can't help myself from comparing them to others. I can't unstress myself about this. As you see, we don't have parents and relatives don't like us. It's only me who can help her.
@daud4ms (218)
• United Arab Emirates
29 Aug 11
Is your sister asking you to raise another kid, if not then let it be, if she can take care or one more child then let her have a child. You don't try to support her, as you already did a lot i guess. And regarding hating your sister, then the thing is that in blood relations we can hate each other, but deep inside we know that we can not live without them. So, I think rather than hating her, just advise her and ask her to settle down in life now.
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
I know daud4ms. We need our family most especially we lost our parents at a very young age and all we have got is each other. I don't want to hate her. I love my sister, daud4ms. But don't you think they love me?? I don't know. I have no idea why they are doing this to me. I feel like running away from them. They always give me a headache.
@waflay (2717)
• Nairobi, Kenya
29 Aug 11
Is it that your sister is not able to raise her own child because if that is the case then this is not good though it has happened once again.Children are a blessing from God and I like what you are doing,you are the best aunt to the child.But from my point of view is it that she longs to have a home of her own and married so that she is naive and so cheated into believing that a certain man is interested in her.If that is the case,then she thinks that she is secure by getting pregnant for the man who turns to be out to waste her.
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
Hello waflay! I would like to be the best aunt for them and children are indeed a blessing from God. But.. tolerating this mistake is a huge mistake of mine! I can't just leave them alone and enjoy my life. I have been telling her to be careful next time because money is too tight nowadays. She knew what I have done for her! My time has been divided because i wanted to play and take care of the child. I tried to make a tight budget sacrificing the things that i want to buy. Now, how would i accept this terrible nightmare?? I feel so bad.
• United States
29 Aug 11
Please explain to me why you took her first child to raise it. Also why would you tell her to abort it when she could very well raise the child herself. would you feel nothing wrong if you did this. If she had the baby why not let her raise the baby. after all it is hers right.
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
She couldn't raise her child well. She has no job. She has no education. This problem is too much for me. Though, I want her to raise her child on her own but how would she do that? I can't just leave them with both empty stomach. I am having hard time on this.
@AmbiePam (49098)
• United States
30 Aug 11
If it is your sister I don't see how an abortion is up to you. If you are asking whether you should tell her to get an abortion, I think that is a decision that should not be influenced. I would consider letting her put the child up for adoption. You've done right by everyone involved. You can't put your life on hold for her decisions. If put up for adoption I'm sure the baby will find a nice home. People are always wanting to adopt babies. You helped one child, it seems almost impossible for you two take care of two by yourself.
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
30 Aug 11
Oh, no, that is your sister's responsibility to take care of her own child, not you. You are merely the aunt of your nephew or niece. Tell it to your sister, if she can't raise her own child, let it be adopted, or last route you can try, ask your parent if they can take in their grandchildren. I hope there is an easy way to solve this problem.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
30 Aug 11
OMG. I am reminded of someone I know who did not only have one or two but three kids of this sort. Oh boy. I do not know what these girls are using. Don't they learn from past mistakes? So irresponsible and so heartless.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
30 Aug 11
I understand your sister is 'carrying' again, however, in the last paragraph of your post you say - "Should I go for abortion?". Hope you are not carrying?. If your sister is pregnant again and cannot afford to bring up a child, it would be better to go for abortion. You do not need to hate her, that won't help. You need to be sympathetic with her and tell her the realities of life. All the best.
• Philippines
29 Aug 11
Hello tess, That's exactly how I remembered you because of that discussion of your sister who left you with that child. you know I've thought about giving you and advice , maybe you should consider giving the child to adoption or orphanage if she can't take care of it. you have a life to live with youre boyfriend and this sister of yours is going now where. But if you love the baby, probably go where your sister can't find you and start settling down with your BF, if he wants to that is. Don't raise this child send it to orphanage. i dont think you can take care any more babies in a life time.
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
29 Aug 11
First of all, if you can not give this child the love and financial stability that it needs and your sister can't either, then it would be a great idea to give the baby up for adoption. Also, it would be a good idea to speak to your sister about birth control. She can't keep bringing children into the world and expecting others to raise them.
@whforget (30)
• China
29 Aug 11
Hi,tess_quinain, I'm wondering where your parents are……I don't know the whole thing, so I just say something from my perspective: she should keep the baby because the little one didn't do anything wrong, so she/he deserves the life; well, but it doesn't mean you're obliged to raise the baby, don't blame yourself, it's obvious that you've already done everything you can to help your sister, she have to learn how to take responsibility to what she did and how to be a mother, right? however, it's your call, and I just give a little advice. you are a brave girl, GOOD LUCK~