Help! I want to end this!

@totor_53 (223)
Philippines
August 30, 2011 5:11am CST
Can you please give me ways where i could say to my gf that i want to end our relationship that would not be that much painful to accept because to tell you honestly i just gave in to this relationship for it was my first time though i also feel something but i think i need to end this as soon as possible because if this would go on, i would continuously hurt her. Please help me i just can't get out of this trouble. :(
4 people like this
25 responses
@mythociate (13934)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2 Sep 11
Set her up with one of your friends before you break up with her, then do something horrible (like 'cheating' on her), which will send her running into your friends arms crying. Maybe it's a little painful, like ripping off a band-aid (but your friend is there to kiss it and make it better for her.)
@Rosa26 (2620)
• United States
3 Sep 11
I think she will be sad at the beginning but at the end she will be thankful with you. Talking the true is priceless and if I were her I would forgive you and continue my life and be sure that God have a better person for me. Not meaning that you are a bad person I think you are a great person who want to say the true to her and not staying with her if you don't feel anything for her, and I know that God has for her, her soulmate.
@totor_53 (223)
• Philippines
3 Sep 11
I hope that she would be as open-minded as you are my problem is that she lets me feel that she even does not have even the slightest hint that she wants to end our relationship which makes me more hesitant in telling her the truth :( Falling in love and ending it is a very difficult thing to do.
@Rosa26 (2620)
• United States
3 Sep 11
I know that it is going to be difficult at the beginning but one day she will see that you made a favor to her, because is always better to be alone than to be with a person that doesn't love me anymore. If you stay with her not loving her you will cheat on her so she won't forgive that, and will create low esteem on her, then I think is better to quit now, to accept your decision now in order to save her a lot of bad experiences.
@htodizzo (31)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
I think your reason for breaking up with her is enough for her to understand. Don't feel guilty, it's going to be painful either way. Don't make it to the point that she'll feel neglected. Just be honest with what you feel. Tell her nicely! It's better that way than staying with someone because you don't love anymore. PS. Girls adore guys who are sensitive! :P
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
I meant, "It's better to leave than to stay with someone you don't feel love anymore."
• Philippines
30 Aug 11
know what no matter what you say your girlfriend will be devastated by the fact that you want to break up with her so ease up her pain by making her feel special after all=) be kind in what you say make her feel that you care and you share the hurting she feels be honest but dont be too honest to say unnecessary things that can only hurt her and can not help her okay?=) go for it=))
• United States
1 Sep 11
I agree with you angelzfangz. If his girlfriend loves him she will be hurt no matter what... but it is best to be honest no matter what.
30 Aug 11
hi:) Breaking up with your girlfriend is not an easy thing to do , especially if she hasn't done wrong to you, but better if you just tell her the truth, tell it in a nice way and explain to her well why you want to end up your relationship. wish you luck!
@soulist (2987)
• United States
30 Aug 11
Exacty right Flower. I mean there is no easy hurt free way to do it. Just tell her the truth but be gentle about it and be kind, not harsh.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
25 Nov 11
oh i am so sorry for the girl. i am sure she is quite a woman thus you are having a hard time. i wonder what has turned out from this already? its been three months. =) hope to hear that everything turns out well for you both.
@kry893 (222)
• Canada
3 Sep 11
It's better to just be open with her and tell her how you're feeling and ask her if it's possible for both of you take a break for awhile and maybe sort things out. So, when you both are on a break away from the relationship, you will probably feel you miss the things you used to do with her or have spent time with her or you don't. Maybe then, you can reallly make your mind up about whether you really want to part with her for good.
@Balozi (244)
• Kenya
1 Sep 11
First you must hold true to your integrity! You must ask yourself if you can be reliable in any other relationship. However, you must realize that you are not leashed to your gf. You must meet yuor gf and tell her your true feelings. It is the truth, though it may hurt, that will set you free.
• United States
31 Aug 11
You just say it! tell her you Have to break up with her before you hurt her anymore. You can't stay because you are not in love with her. And you need to leave now while you two can be cordial and not hate each other.
@Jlyn10 (10437)
• Malaysia
31 Aug 11
We can't tell you what to say to your girlfriend because we don't know the reason behind this. I think the truth would be better. But break it to her gently.
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
31 Aug 11
I prefer the direct method. Tell her directly that it was a huge mistake on your part, and that you didn't mean it to end this way, but you simply are not interested in her, and she should move on. Direct is hard. But like you said, if you don't you'll hurt her more. And don't play games. Just say it.
• India
31 Aug 11
Hi dude, Its a very critical situation when you are trying to end a relationship if the girl hasne't done any worng to you, the thing you said in discussion that you wanted to end the relationship because you do not want to hurt her, that shows your care for her, but anyways iam not getting much into that stuff, Before breaking up with your GF you need to be strong yourself, don't think its easy to do such stuff, If taken a silly mistake you will end up ruining your reputation and losing the self respect that you have, though is dones't matter to you but in the long run it will keep eating your head. So starting up you need to explain the reason for the breakup, be calm and if you get a negative response bear it because its your decision, don't remove any offensive or aggresive words it will hurt you both try to end in a loved way. Make things clear as of why and what are the reasons and what wil be the consequences. Iam sure you explain such stuff in a good way she will finally aceept it. Take care. Good luck.
@derek_a (10903)
31 Aug 11
In my experiences there has never been an easy way to break up with a g/f. I have done it a few times in my youth and my g/f always got hurt - it's a part of life's lesson. I have also been dumped and felt hurt, but I know I would prefered it when my g/f was straight with me and told me outright, that she didn't have feelings for me any more. One g/f didn't do this and pretended that all was OK and then I saw her out with another guy and that hurt even more. Best to tell it as it is and not keep anybody hangind around. Yes, it is going to hurt, but I believe that there is the right person out there for everyone, and it is part of our life's lesson and experiences to eventually find them, but there are no guarantees. We need to trust life and keep moving on. _Derek
31 Aug 11
i think. you've to be honest to your gf. opennes is the beginning of repairs of a relationship. if you wanna end your relationship to your gf, just say the reason of it.
• United States
31 Aug 11
Honesty is always the best policy... Being deceitful can only create more hurt in the end. Respecting her enough to tell her how you honestly feel should make her respect you enough to understand. Not saying there won't be some hurt feelings here. That is natural. Rejection in any walk of life is hard. Be sincere and up front... time will heal the event..
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
That's not an easy thing to do. Just be honest to her. It will hurt her but she will realize later the benefit of it. Just do it in a very nice way.
• United States
31 Aug 11
Be honest with your girlfriend. Being honest with her will help. Do not sugar coat this or lie. Because that will come out and hurt more. Tell her how you feel. Lying to the other person does not help but ends up hurting even more.
• United States
30 Aug 11
No matter what, either of you will get hurt. Ask yourself why would you want to end the relatuonship (because she will ask and it is also better if she knows the readon too). Everyone has their own purple. It is just if you have the right to find the right reason for it. I know it is your first time, but doesn't make you holding back either. The sooner the better for both of you guys. It is hard to break up with someone when either of you guys love the other the most. Just make a plan to meet up and tell her, like the park, the garden, the beach, or any scenery will do. Night time is better. Just tell her what you feel first, but don't rush into the main subject. Don't say I want to break up with you. Just find a way so she won't get hurt too much.
@soulist (2987)
• United States
30 Aug 11
There is no easy way to break off a relationship with someone. no matter what you do she will be hurt depending on how long the relationship was. What makes you think that you would continuously hurt her?
@Fireheart (683)
• India
30 Aug 11
I know it will be hard for you to express your feelings toward her, and if there is no problem from her part then it makes even more difficult to get loose, i must say you are to state your reason to her, why you felt like this way, am sure she would understand your perspective i hope so, anyway worth a try better than go avoiding her all the time to give up on you and then finally breaking up. and also hope she doesnt curse on it, this sort of thing happened and i even have to hear YOU CHEAT!..well its for better i guess. We all have better things to do in life apart from this.