No kissing at home?! What?!

@chiyosan (29390)
Philippines
August 31, 2011 7:45am CST
My mom saw that me and my bf kissed. we kissed on the lips and it was just a smack!!! wow my mom said that it should not be done in front of her.. but she was always at our backs. i am totally annoyed. why would she always follow me around, always look at what we are doing... i really hate it! my mom doesnt understand that i am already 30 and a smack on the lips is normal.. is this not normal to you???? what do you think??
3 people like this
23 responses
@sid556 (31019)
• United States
1 Sep 11
Hi Chiyosan, I think your mom is out of line here. You are 30 after all. Good grief. I have 3 daughters and they kissed their boyfriends in front of me as teens. Still, it is her home and her rules. Have you considered moving out and being on your own? If you were to do that then there would be little that your mother could say about what you do.
@chiyosan (29390)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
She is just too narrowminded. she's out to destroy every relationship i had, and was always ready to have full set of comments on all of them (only 2 by the way). haay i am super super uncomfortable right now.. and guess what, even while typing on my laptop she would stick her nose and ask why are you always in front of your laptop.. even when i am NOT. she's just always at my back.. annoying and pushing me to start a fight, and then she would cry and have her series of self pity moments. i have learned to just shut up even when she would say all the bad and hurtful things to me... even my work, she would question why i do this, that, and all. darn.. i have considered living on my own.. but honestly 80% of my salary goes to the household and yes.. i have no savings because i have to fend for her and the family... no wonder i am single at my age... she would even say that others marry at 35 nowadays! she annoys me, but still wants me around all the time.. she can only pick on me!!! =(
@sid556 (31019)
• United States
1 Sep 11
She sounds very controlling and critical. I really think it would be well worth your while if you could somehow find a way to earn some extra money and save to get your own place. You do not owe it to your mom to spend your life in misery tied there. You deserve happiness and your mom should want that for you as well. Geez, my 17 year old has more freedom than it sounds as if you have.
@ravisivan (14051)
• India
31 Aug 11
Chiyosan: I support your mom. Yes. I also believe certain things should be done in privacy. You must talk to your bf in a separate room. sorry i am not able to support you because I am from India. for that matter even in usa I do not find people kissing in public. yes. so think.
2 people like this
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
31 Aug 11
ravisivan any people beleive as you do. We used to joke about "PDA" not being acceptable. (If anyone hasn't heard this..PDA stands for "Public Display of Affection" I never kissed my boyfriend in front of may parents because I knew they would be uncomfortable. In fact I don't even kiss my husband in front of them exept perhaps rarely a qick peck.
1 person likes this
@ravisivan (14051)
• India
31 Aug 11
stary1- thanks for your response.
2 people like this
@se7enthbird (8330)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
now this is funny to read... a 30 year old is not allowed to kiss at home. well maybe it is time to get out of there and find your own pad. most parents have this rule "my house my rules". i just dont know if this applies to your parents. but for me this is too much. and to follow you around and always looking at what you are doing? har har har. i wont be surprised if you will get angry or pissed but this is too much. you are 30 and an adult. there are more things you are allowed to do.
2 people like this
@chiyosan (29390)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
i certainly wish i could but i am only thinking about her. i have two brothers, and the other is married, my mom only have me to be with her all the time. groceries, and all. i can't even stay out too long because i worry about her being alone at home.. but the point is that why does she always have to rub it on my face that i am being a disgrace just by kissing my boyfriend on the lips! its a smack by the way.. which meant nothing to offend her.. why would she even look at us?! see? i think if she wants not to see it, she can turn her face to the other side.. why does she have to be nosey and all?! i swear im so pissed off right now!
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
now i can understand that story. i am the first born of 5 children and i am the last one who got married. all my siblings got married at a young age and i left home when i was 28 years old. now married for 9 years... yesterday was our anniversary. and when i told her that i found the right person to be my wife she was mad in a way. i think it was jealous as i see. until now she does not like my wife but she keeps it civil. i was the last who got married and me and my mother are best friends. we do a lot of things together. but of course i need to have my family of my own. but at home my sister and her family plus a brother of mine and his family lives there with her.
@katrinapaz (2438)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
i think that your mother is very traditional. even though you are 30 you are still not married to your bf and your mother is also conservative. maybe she does not want to see such acts because she is scrutinizing the guy still. i can understand your mom. just do it secretly for now
2 people like this
@chiyosan (29390)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
haha i guess so. yes.. maybe, i am even thinking of not going home to early and leave home early in the morning just so not to see her often for now. im really on my wits end. i've lost patience trying to understand all her hang ups. i am not married because i think she still needs me to be around, and yes i have sacrificed quite a lot for her, for the family only to be nagged on every single day she is feeling grouchy. =( i love her dearly but she always always try to annoy me and get the best of me...
@junmae (1590)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
I think that is usual to parents, are you the youngest and the only girl in the family? sometimes parents became strict to the female and youngest daughter because they are afraid that if the daughter will get married, they will be left alone. In short, parents have a separation anxiety that's why they became over protected with us. I think you have to talk with them, tell your feelings and thoughts, make them realize that you are in the right age to do such things.
2 people like this
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
Hello Chiyosan, Maybe you didn't have to kiss him in front of her. probably because she's getting old and sensitive about things. right now, she is probably shock that you're not her baby any more and have grown up but still afraid to acknowledge that you have matured. Women lesser than you're age have kids already, like my sister in law who happens to be at the same age as i am.
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
I think your mom is just uncomfortable seeing her daughter get intimate in front of her. I oughta say being 3O at that, you are old enough to do such things but let's just say just to spare your mom from feeling awkward, you do your smooching elsewhere.
@ravisivan (14051)
• India
1 Sep 11
sophiecheer: You are correct. I support you. I agree with you.
• Philippines
2 Sep 11
Being raised a Filipina, I was raised to be modest at all times: be it at my outfit and manners. It is liberating though that as time passed, certain modesty have become rare. It's not really unacceptable..after all, times are really changing.
• China
1 Sep 11
Maybe your mother just misundertood you. Here in China we never do that in fron of our parents, nostly beacuse we do not the tradion of kissing on the cheeks.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27434)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
I guess your mother knows how it is to behave as a respectable woman. I don't think kissing even just a smack in front of anyone especially a mother is a respectable gesture for two people who are not married yet. Call me old-fashioned or get annoyed with me just as you are with your mother but I agree with your mother. I admire her actually because she knows the boundary and limitation of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
1 person likes this
• Greece
31 Aug 11
kissing is normal. it is a human display of affection and love for one another. i think your mother is wrong. try to talk her out of it.
1 person likes this
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
31 Aug 11
A lot depends on how your Mom was raised as to what she is comfortble with seeing. If I understood you, she said don't do it in front of her, not don't kiss, period. I would respect her wishes and especially if you are still living with her and just kiss your bf when you are not around her. Even if you aren't living with her, you don't have to kiss in front of her. I doubt she is going to change so you might as well accept and adapt. Mothers can really push our buttons like no one else. I remeber even when I KNEW my Mom was wrong, I'd react emotionally. Sometimes it just isn't worth the battle with your mother. No doubt she loves you and has done many many things for you. Just go along with this and pick your battles for something more important Best wishes.
1 person likes this
@emjay86 (640)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
A kiss is an expression of love for each other. There is just an issue of the onlooker. As with the case of your mom, isn't she a bit too uptight about it? I mean 30 is more than an appropriate age for a simple act. Simple but bliss.
1 person likes this
@Olleenz (3404)
• Indonesia
31 Aug 11
In some country, express our love by kissing or holding hand still taboo. But it also depends son people who seen it. I can't blame your mother for that. Seem like she still believe old fashion way to express love.
1 person likes this
@waflay (2655)
• Nairobi, Kenya
31 Aug 11
It is normal to be kissed by your partner and if feels good as it is a way of showing love.Your mum disapproved this but I think as a parent she sees it as her duty to tell you what to do and what not to do.
1 person likes this
• China
31 Aug 11
your country may be a traditional country.Kissing each other generally happens to two lovers.it is a kind of symbol of love. Not like in west country,such USA, kissing each other is a common social etiquette. don't you have your private space with your bf? It is common to kiss each other for you. Only your mother can't accept it. so you should avoid letting your mother see that.
1 person likes this
@Kish2328 (71)
• United States
31 Aug 11
Every human being has its own outlook or feelings on how they see things and react about it. What may not bad to you, may sound or look bad to others and vice versa. Personally for me, its no biggie but if its more than that, it wont feel comfortable seeing my son with his girlfriend doing it in front of me. Your Mom, I guess is not comfortable about seeing you guys kissing each other in front of her so just be it and respect her will.
1 person likes this
@silverfox09 (4727)
• United States
6 Sep 12
So funny , your mother dont want you to leave her sight but you cannot kiss lol. She could have just look away because that is normal . I think your mother will not like your bf if you continue to kiss in front of her .
@narnia007 (1051)
• India
22 May 12
When I started to read your discussion,I thought what your mother did was correct that she would not let her kids going around kissing with their boy friends.But wait a second,you are not a kid.You are already 30.This is not at all correct.You have your own freedom to kiss your boy friend and your are way big enough to know what you are doing.You better talk about this to your mom.There may be some other issues bothering her.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
19 Apr 12
I laughed when I read your discussion. Sorry but I can't help but laughed at what your mom's reaction was. And knowing you are already at a legal age. Anyway, I don't disapprove you in kissing your bf, it was a smack kiss after all. Nothing to rage about it. You have to ask your mom or tell her sincerely that you are at the right age and not a kid to be watched at. She should also respect your privacy and time for your bf. Also, you should respect your mom for acting that way. We Filipinos are really conservative and kissing is really not good in the eyes of our elders.
@neildc (16896)
• Philippines
3 Sep 11
for your age, i think a kiss is normal for sweethearts even in public as long as it is just a smack. your mom could just be a conservative type and you should try to understand.