Expectations of families

@indahfth (11173)
Indonesia
August 31, 2011 5:08pm CST
Idul Fitri, I celebrate with my husband's family. I met my husband's family. They told me to be patient, and hope, my husband and I to stay together. I am very sad to hear their expectations. And I can not, provide any answers. I do not want them disappointed. I do not know what will happen to my household. I also do not know, I was able to realize their expectations or not.
15 responses
@stanley777 (7176)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
I admire your beliefs and disposition my friend, even though you are hurting inside still you accompanied your husband to celebrate the holiday with your in-laws. My suggestion for you is to leave your husband, because staying with him will only hurt you more.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 11
Our togetherness was painful. The pain and disappointment, there has been a long time. And this all makes me very confused. I want to go, but something was holding me.
• Philippines
10 Sep 11
I'm really confused my friend.You said being with your husband gives you pain and disappointment but you still preferred to stay with him. Maybe because you love him so much that is why. I hope you husband sees it and makes up his mind.
@celticeagle (115583)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Sep 11
I know that you are sad and I wonder if there isn't something to be learned here. If he won't try to make the marriage work then what can be learned from this? Maybe, given time, he will fall out of love for this woman and come back to you. You would need to be someone he would want to love. I would spend this time becoming as good a woman as you can possibly be.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 11
I will do my best, I will do my duty as a wife, though it may be, my feelings, very messy.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (115583)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Sep 11
Sounds like it is very messy. You need to do something to make you happy.
@parjono (39)
• Indonesia
9 Oct 11
Each family would want, all went well, and get the best. You should try the best, so that your family was not disappointed. Your happiness is the happiness of your family.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
10 Oct 11
I always try, to not make the family was disappointed. But, I do not know if I can realize their wishes or not. Because, I also thought about my own happiness.
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
8 Sep 11
yes, i think aidil fitri is right time for you and your husband family support each other it means that your husband family care and love you... and now it`s your effort to make their love for you is not useless...
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 11
I myself do not know, how the fate of my household. Hopefully, I did not take the decision, which upset everyone. Parents and my family, not knowing of this problem, I can not tell them.
@kry893 (222)
• Canada
1 Sep 11
Perhaps your husband told his family of his wishes and his family had already advised him to think twice before doing anything foolish since he already has his own family with you. Maybe they too, hoped that he will come to his senses eventually and get back together with you. Maybe that's why they just told you to be patient and to least see how far it'll go. I guess once your hubby realizes he is in the wrong path, he'll probably regret and get back with you. Until then, the best way is just carry on, move on and just be strong.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 11
All possibilities exist. I do not know which possibility is correct. You are right, I must be strong and patient, and hopefully, I can be patient and strong.
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
Hi there! I guess it is just normal for every family to hope and wish that their child would stay together with his spouse. Despite the fact that parents disagree with the marriage, parents do not hope to see the child's family to be broken. No matter what, it's all up to you. I must say that, hold on. Keep a strong grip on the tiniest thing you hold to keep your household intact. When there is no more reason to hold it, that's the time you make a decision of your life.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 11
Yes. I must be strong, and think about these issues well, so I do not take the wrong decision. It's just. Now I am still very confused, with this my problem.
@neliasni (76)
• Indonesia
1 Sep 11
Wholeness within the family, is a highly desired by everyone. Family, definitely do not want, one family member, should be separate. Consider, what would you decide. Your decision, determine your future.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 11
Yes. My decisions determine my future. I must be careful in making decisions. Hopefully, a decision which I will take it later, was the right decision, and do not bring sorrow to me.
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
Just pray and hold on, you'll see things will be okay. Maybe not sooner but it will come. Problems are only there to make us strong persons and good people. Don't mind what they have to say, concentrate on what you are feeling.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 11
Yes. You are right. Everything will be fine. Just waiting for time to come. All will be beautiful in its time. Hopefully.
@RDotson (51)
• United States
1 Sep 11
Your husbands family really has not choice but to say those words to you. They are his family and even if he did wrong they will always be his family no matter what. I am sure they do not want to see anything bad happen to your household as you are his wife, but they can not take sides due to him being their family. I would suggest you speak with his mother or sister to see what they would do in the situation you are in, and see what they feel is expected from you. I wish the best for you and ask ALLAH to help you in this time of need.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Sep 11
I often discuss this with my husband's mother, but I never get the results, and confusion that I get.
@judelen (428)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
Hello! It's natural for a family gathering to have a discussion something like more on reminders to your marriage life. Don't be discourage for that. Our in-laws are so concerned to the future of their son/daughter in the future. I mean in building a family is not easy, so reminders from them is also useful. It's true that patience is a great virtue so sustain your family in the long run. Without patience to both of you, you cannot hold your family intact for the years to come. So take their advices happily accepted and pray for it.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
3 Sep 11
I wish I had a lot of patience for this. I also wish I could change the situation, to be good.
@bellis716 (4807)
• United States
1 Sep 11
The only good thing that I can see in your latest statement is that your husband's family is taking your side. They do not want you expelled from the family.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
3 Sep 11
They wanted, the family remains intact and live in harmony. I'm happy, they have hope, that I remain a member of their family.
@sql_cell (1429)
• Indonesia
1 Sep 11
Each family want to remain in harmony, and harmony. The problem is often the case, solving the problem must be with a calm heart, so as not to regret.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
3 Sep 11
I also really want a harmonious family. But, this problem is to disturb our harmony.
• United States
31 Aug 11
Hi Indahfth, Yes families at times do have expectations as this. The sad part is that they are not the ones living in the situation, so not as easy for them to have to deal with it, as it is not them but you, who is. Although it would be wonderful if things changed for you, you must remember that it is your life and clinging to hope for change may or may not be right for you. So if and when you do make a decision, as hard as it may be, you need to look out for you and your child. The family, although at times things change, they still will be part of your and your son's life. My prayers to you that all of this can be fix and or that you finally are happy once again, which ever route that is with.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
3 Sep 11
Whatever my decision, hopefully, not make them disappointed. Hopefully they will understand my desire. Those families who are very warm, and very good. I also love them.
@Olleenz (3400)
• Indonesia
31 Aug 11
I guess this discussion related to your previous discussion, right? Of course they gonna said that. Remember, you're in your husband family. They realized that your husband made some mistakes on you and can do nothing to help you. What kind expectation is that...grrrr Made up your mind, see your future in front of you and move on and one more thing .... never look back. All my support with you
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
3 Sep 11
Yes. This discussion is related to my previous discussion. I do not want them to be disappointed, but I have a desire for my life. I hope, I will take decisions, right decisions, and do not carry regrets, and disappointments.
@ariyanti (206)
• Indonesia
24 Sep 11
Every family has always hoped for the best. But, whatever the family wishes, you have to think about yourself. Because, you are going through. Not they.