Friends that are too busy for you..
September 1, 2011 7:53am CST
What do you do about having friends that are just too busy for you? Busy with school, their jobs, their boyfriends, their other friends? Do you let them go? Or just wait in vain, hoping that someday you will both have schedules that DON'T conflict enough to hang out once every couple of weeks or even months? I met my "best friend" in 7th grade and we've been not best friends but GOOD friends ever since (we are both 21 now). Once we both got to college and went our separate ways, we really have drifted - it's crazy, and sad. She's busy working part-time, going to school full-time, and has a boyfriend who she is attached to the hip at. I was busy going to school and working 2 part time jobs, and now I'm working one full-time job, one VERY part-time job, and it just seems like we have ABSOLUTELY no time for each other. I haven't seen this girl in months upon months - maybe since April or so (and this used to be the girl who I talked on the phone with EVERY DAY, texted every day, hung out like ONCE a week if not more!). The other part to it is that her and her boyfriend are literally (OK, fine, FIGURATIVELY) attached at the hip. Every time we hang out, the few times we have this year, I have to hang out with the TWO of them and not one-on-one like I'd rather have (I hate being a third wheel..) But they are inseperable. Anyway, I know I've ranted about this before - but what do you do when your friend has no time for you?!
4 people like this
• United States
1 Sep 11
as you get older, you and your friend are changing. you both have different lives and it isn't like it use to be. i think you should move on to other friends since your friend dosen't appear to make time for you. the best to you
1 Sep 11
This is true, when friends seems had no time for us , we felt sad. We do understand that they are busy and have a life with them, but we also are busy and only wants to have some spare time with them. I have set of friends, and we have a lot of time before, but now, some of them becomes busy and only few have time to have met-ups and it's fine. I just think that, those friends maybe becomes bored and wants some space. They're still my friends and wish to have the same closeness back again. have a good day jaiho®
1 Sep 11
If you are true friend you dont "let them go". It happens. Always, but when you meet, catch up, have a great time, but in the meantime get on with YOUR life. I never see my friends as much as I used to, but it will happen wether you like it or not. People are living there own lives and there eventaul goals will be concentrating on jobs/significant others You can still be a part of that life, just meet up for a coffee/chat every once in a while. Pop around the house, even if she is busy, go help out and just catch up. Maybe she woiuld appreaciate it. Hell some of mine I maybe get one meet up a year, but id never not consider them a friend unless they did something to deliberatly hurt me. Her and her boyfriend prob need the time together too. And can I ask what your definition of best friend is? My best friend, who I was best man at his wedding, his daughters godfather, hardly see each other at all, dont even chat much on the net, I see other friends much more regularly, but when we do, I know he is still just that. My best. Regardless with a kid and marriage. Live you life, not hers, and perhaps you can still hang out. Best friend doesnt mean you are there constantly, but there when it maybe matters. Friends come and go, but the good ones are there for you even if not in sight. How do you view it? That she isnt intersted in your friendship as much?
• United States
22 Sep 11
i think in that situation try a few times to talk with them and set up some plans and if after you talked or seen each other the other one doesnt make an effort just move on with your life. the friend may come back after her relationship is over etc or in time but if she doesnt you dont want to have put your life on hold for some one that didnt even care anymore
6 Sep 11
Maybe it's time to find new ones?! Not 'best' friends, but just friends that would have the time to hang out with. That girl you mentioned would surely come back to you sometime in the future, if she also considers you a 'best' friend. In the meantime that she is busy being attached to the hip with her boyfriend, why not look for some new ones. And maybe develop a new 'best' friend.
• United States
4 Sep 11
Well you can accept the friendship for what it has become or just consider her an acquaintance. My friends from when I was younger we've all drifted apart. And honestly when they say family is the center of everything it is truly once you get married and have your own kids...then toss in a job ect you don't have time for friends too much. I've been left curbside for my friends when they were dating someone, it sux especially if you have the time and they don't so you have to find new friends or other things to occupy yourself.
• United States
2 Sep 11
I have a childhood sweetheart that while we are at opposite ends of the earth now, him and I have been able to maintain our friendship. Once the puppy love got over, and we went seperate ways (both of us went in the Army out of high school) I was an only child so he was like a best friend. We talk a couple of times a year, and we catch each other on yahoo messenger or email. But we all have to realize not that in our minds we intend to outgrow our friends I think we do lose some and gain new relationships. I had a girlfriend also in high school. She married a guy that I graduated with and knew very well. We both had 2 girls about the same age, so it was neat to see our kids play together. But somewhere she started cheating on her husband and I was loyal to her husband that I graduated with. While I tried to maintain a relationship with her specially for the girls sake, although she never said it I could feel the pressure of pick her or her husband and drop the other. My husband and him were very good friends so it was not in the cards to not be friends with both if possible. Eventually after a few months she got married and the only time we ever saw each other was if we happened to be in the same store. That maybe happened once a year. Her friend circle changed and I accepted it. On a different note, I had a friend that I met because I taught ceramic classes, and we became friends or so I thought. I guess she just used me for the ceramic part. I would call her to just talk and she would say I have my mother or sister on the other line I will call you back. I hang up and the call never comes. A week or so later, I would call, and basically get the same thing. So finally you get tired of being brushed off. I just gave up. Find you a new circle of friends. You don't have to forget your friend. Call and if possible still see her. Maybe you two need to talk and see if there can be some boundries in regards to her boyfriend. Or if you have a boyfriend to maybe a couples night out? Dinner or Movie? But unfortunately the thing called life gets in the way. I don't think we will ever forget certain friends, but high school is totally different than college and work. Kind of slaps up and sucks you in and you never seem to have time for anyone. Good Luck to you and I sincerely hope you make some good new friends.