I felt betrayed for the second time.

By eM
@eLsMarie (4148)
Philippines
September 6, 2011 4:47pm CST
Last Monday night, I was given the task to edit my friend's work. It's with our thesis. Hmmm... I thought that I was only going to be finished by an hour because I thought that the paper's ready. Ready to be published. When I go through with it, it was very lousy. So I have to edit it and told my friend that I have to overhaul her paper, because it has a lot of mistakes. Morning came, she became too bitter. I asked her if she was angry; she told me that she's not. Then, I saw her post on Facebook. She posted that she got so insulted and all. But what can I do? The paper's bad. I have to edit with most especially with grammar. During our peer evaluation, she gave me a low grade. She's telling me that she's okay, but then she gave me a very little score. I contributed a lot to the group and all she did was to ruin it.
1 person likes this
9 responses
• Philippines
6 Sep 11
I do not think your friend's attitude towards the situation is good. If you are really friends, she should be able to honestly say that she was offended when you edit the paper. In that way, you should have been able to explain to her that you did it not to offend her but to improve your work. Moping and posting negative things on he Faebook status is really an immature way to handle the situation.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
She should talk to me instead. The nest time she'll do this to me, I can't really tell that I'm still willing to forgive her. What she did was so offensive, but I'm left into having no choice but to forgive her because that's the way I gave importance to whatever kinds of relationship. Thanks feeltheirie. Happy mylotting.
@pupupd (1521)
• India
7 Sep 11
I must say you have a very good heart. You are ready to forgive her and be friends with her even after all this. Great spirit, but she should not use this quality of yours in a negative way, that is, she must not misuse it.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
You're right pupupd. The pain that she'd given me was too much. I cried a lot of times and still managed to forgive her. I guess it's God's way of telling me that my old friends before were not like her.
@chiyosan (30205)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
I think your friend has got some issues with you. She has to tell this straight to your face though instead of hiding in Facebook. Haha. Such coward act! Maybe you know now what she is made of, no substance, it should not be hard avoiding her and consider her as a part that you need not have in the future. She is not worth your time.
@pupupd (1521)
• India
7 Sep 11
well said. I like it. I too believe such friends are not worth our time. They do not understand the meaning of term friends. Friends can get angry on each other but never post something like this in Facebook. I remember I once did something similar, but I was hurt and not insulted. Now, I think how childish it was, I should have told what I feel straight on that guy's face but I didn't because I did not know him so well.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
Thanks for your advises guys. Actually, I'm very thankful of what had happened because, though I was deeply hurt, I gained a lot. I gained a lot of learning. With regards to issues, maybe she does. That's sad. By the way, she still haven't deleted her post.
@louievill (19959)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
hello, I think another angle to the situation is there are just people who cannot and does not handle constructive criticism and actual constructive help very well. I think these types of people will always be at a lose in life unless they see the real value and benefit of what constructive corrections can do for them, so I really pity your friend , that is if you still want to call her that.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
Actually, she's still my friend. I have forgiven and I think that I really did the right thing. I just wished that she will not do it again. Thanks for making an effort louievill. Happy mylotting!
@pupupd (1521)
• India
7 Sep 11
When you are friends with someone, you must care for each other. What she did was out of jealousy and inferior feeling. She thought that you are making her feel like stupid. You must explain her that changing her paper did not make her weak or stupid, you were just helping her out, that's it. At least I would never have felt bad if I had such a good friend who makes good changes in my paper...
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
8 Sep 11
Insulting her wasn't really intention. I don't know why she posted something on Facebook that she felt insulted. I wish I was your friend.
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
I have bee like you too when I was studying but there was one lesson that taught me and changed me. I have friends and they would always ask me for help with research especially in English. Because I am a friend, I try to do my best in helping them. Even if I am the one doing it already. My mom would ask me why I am doing so many research and I almost don't leave my desk even on weekends and then she sees my friends on the mall and just jerking around. I told her I don't know. I was blind and continued to become a good friend. Then by the end of the semester, I got that slap on my face. Since I have to do their work, I did not notice that my own work are put to compromise. I tend to be doing their work better. We received our class cards and I was slapped by getting a grade lower than what they have. I was telling myself I was so stupid to let them have fun around, I was not even sleeping for nights to help them and they got better grades than me for doing nothing. After that semester, I slowly tried to avoid them. I would do my own work and if they want help I would tell them my computer is not working or my printer has finished it's ink already. They even have the face to be angry with me and tell my I am no friend. I just did not care. I told myself that I did not study to help other people. I am better of alone, I don't need parasites around me. I guess that should be a lesson for you too. If she does not know how to take corrections then let her do it herself.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
Last night, I told the group that I will no longer edit her work because I don't want to encounter that same mistake or whatever again. After what happened, I realized something and that is I shouldn't invest for too much emotion for someone who's not friends enough to be honest to me. I think that at this point in time, I'm pretty generous and I will continue to be one until I find my real friend/s who will last 'til the end. Thanks for sharing you experience pbbbsra. I learned a lot from you.
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
7 Sep 11
I guess she does feel insulted but there was also a very good reason why she asked you to edit her work. If she would have known it's great she would not have asked you. Personally I would have tell her too that it's lousy and it took a lot of time to correct everything. If she can't live with that (you being honest, willing to do all that work for her instead of returning it back to her and telling her you don't have time for that) it's her problem. You asked her if she is angry she denied it. I think it's very childish the way she behaves and I can only pity her.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
I think almost all of you guys who responded to my post said the same thing; she's childish. Well, I think she's got few experiences about how to properly deal with life. Hmmm... How I wish she will still become successful in the near future with that kind of attitude.
@chiwasaki (4661)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
It is not right that she gave you a lower score because she got offended. She should have tell you the truth in the first place to settle any misunderstanding. We don't know what exactly you said to her, probably she was really hurt and she really works hard for that paper. But the good thing is you approach her and try to settle things.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
Yes and I'm telling you that it's very hard. I did cry a lot after, but I think I was too strong enough to forgive her.
@obe212003 (2302)
• Philippines
6 Sep 11
you did the right thing of doing what you have to do of assessing her work. sometimes there are instances of this sort coming from slight misunderstanding. i think that you have to point out to her the errors on her work, probably do it on a subtle manner as i think she is too sensitive on matters regarding her own work. a simple heart-to-heart talk could patch things up for both of you.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
I think she is. She praises her work so much to the extent that she never realizes that it's wrong and quite not worth it. But I forgave her.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
6 Sep 11
Hi, eLsMarie. Your friend should have been woman enough to tell you how she felt herself rather than to just air out her personal details on Facebook! She should have been honest with you about how she felt about the editing that you have done for you and her. Why would she get angry if the two of you worked on this paper thesis together? Who did the writing where the errors showed up? Either way, your friend is acting really silly to be mad at something like this. If this was really bothering her, then she should have came to you and discuss her issues, rather than just going on Facebook and ranting like a childish little girl! I think that she should have behaved more in a mature manner than she has.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 11
I so much agree with you cream97. If she posted something on Facebook, I posted something here on mylot. I think that's my way of coping up. At least I know that I will gain a lot of learning from the people here. Thanks for making an effort.