when your parents did not like your lover

@adhyz82 (36263)
Indonesia
September 10, 2011 12:47pm CST
when your parents don`t like with your boyfriend or girl friend, what should you do?? follow your parents wish or convince them that you had found the right people for you? share it
3 people like this
18 responses
@Olleenz (3400)
• Indonesia
10 Sep 11
There must be some reason for that. Ask our parent about it. If reasonable, why not. This happen to me once, not my parent who disagree with my relationship but my girlfriend parents and their reason undeniable.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 11
so what is your respond when your girlfriend parents deny and reject you??
@Olleenz (3400)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 11
I think you need to see my discussion, My answer is there. Here the link: http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2563366.aspx
1 person likes this
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
12 Sep 11
wow...i had read it so my conclusion is you can`t forget your first lover....
• Indonesia
10 Sep 11
i choose to ask my parent, why? so i can thinking that why my parent doesn't like my girlfriend, and i can make my own chioce. well, sometime, we must thinking like a parent: what we choose for our son/daughter. that can make me thinking why our parent do like that. but actually, the decision is in our hand. just choose wisely.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 11
what about if your parents don`t want to make discussion about that for them , it`s the final
• Indonesia
12 Sep 11
so can't leave the girl, cause there is no argument/ explanation from my parent. lucky, my parents not like that.
@soulist (2987)
• United States
12 Apr 12
There was a time where my parents and my brother did not like the man I was dating and eventually got engaged too. I fought with them on a regular basis and after 4 and a half years I broke up with the guy for various different reasons. But now that I look back on things I realize how right they were about him not being good for me. He was a bad influence and was hiding various things from me.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
12 Apr 12
what do you think the bad effect of the man for you?? do you think your parents had forgiven you??
@Sanitary (3969)
• Singapore
12 Sep 11
It's not easy making a decision between the two because a lover or partner is for life, while parents are the ones who brought us up. It would be good if i'm able to find that who can get along well with my parents, but at the same time, it's not necessarily, since i ought to live with my partner's parents. It's more important that i can get along well with his, than he getting along well with mine.
1 person likes this
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
12 Sep 11
so whats is your solution??
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
11 Sep 11
I have never been influenced by my parents’ opinion of the people I dated and I believe that is how it should be. In my case it didn’t take me long to become aware that my parents were not going to like anyone I went out with! It is your feelings for the person you may want to spend your life with that count not your parents'...
1 person likes this
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 11
really??i think its honour if we respect what is their opinion about our wife or husband in future
• Philippines
11 Sep 11
I think when they disagree with your partner they must have the reason why they dont like your partner, They say the parents know best, i once experienced that, when i dated once they dont like, not totally they dont like but a hesitant for him, but i ask them why, and they reason are the guy has a heart problem he undergo a heart surgery before and they concern is if the guy once again had an attack and during in our time it makes me cry and unhappy, and another reason is he's younger than me, and a younger man is a easy go lucky, as they say. but for me, if you really like the person and you prove to them that its worth it, then no matter what they say, what really important is that you happy with what you chose. Even if in the end they right in someways, atleast you been able to experienced that moment of happiness.
1 person likes this
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 11
what about if you had told them that she/he is the best for you and you know exactly that only him/her makes you happy but your parents still refuse them, what should you do??
@WakeUpKitty (8706)
• Netherlands
10 Sep 11
I don't care about what my parents, kids, family or friends think about my partner/boy friend. I expect from them they will respect my choice and respect the one I love. It's my life not theirs. It's important I feel happy with him. Not to make my parents be happy with someone of their choice. If they can't respect my choice it will be the end of my relationship with them. Not with my boyfriend. I would never convince my parents or anyone else, or try to convince them, this is the right person for me. Why should I convince them or should I or he prove that to them? If they can't see it themselves or are not willing to see or believe it, it's just a waste of energy.
1 person likes this
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 11
really why you don`t care or think about your parents opinion maybe they are right and of course they had lived and had more experienced than yours..
• Slovenia
10 Sep 11
I think that parents don't have any influence on which person should I pick. If I like one person I will stay with her, noone will change my mind. Maybe they are just scared that if whe lefts you you will get hurt and thats way they are looking at her like that. Or maybe they just don't like her. But you cannot pick a girlfriend that will be your wife because of you parents.. Come on man.. Maybe they need just to get to know her. Maybe they will realize that she is not bad person.
1 person likes this
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 11
so where is your parents position in your heart??
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
14 Sep 11
Parents, do not like my lover, would have a reason. I will ask the reason for that? And I'll see if the reason my parents were right or not. If my parents were right, I certainly I will leave my lover.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 12
really?/ even if you really love your lover/
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
17 Mar 12
If the reason of my parents, proved to be true, I would not mind, though I really love my boyfriend.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
17 Mar 12
wow..you are sacrifice your lover.. wonderful..
@cieldz (711)
• Indonesia
15 Mar 12
Hello adhyz82.. My parents don’t like my boyfriend cause the different ethnic.. That’s why I’m in long distance relationship with my boyfriend.. I’m the one who will live with the man I’m marrying with, not my parents.. I’m the one who will got all the consequences with the person I choose, not my parents.. And I’m the one who live my own life and future, not my parents..
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
16 Mar 12
hello cieldz..what is your ethnic?? and what is your boyfriend ethnic?? in the early discussion, you say that your parents did not like your boyfriend because of distance?? so which one is correct?? i like all your statement....
@cieldz (711)
• Indonesia
17 Mar 12
My boyfriend is Javanese.. Because my parents don’t like him, we decide to have a long distance relationship..
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
19 Mar 12
cieldz, are you sundanesse, jakartanesse or what?? so your parents know that now you make a LDR with your boyfriend??
@asliah (11148)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
hi, parents are always have good intentions for us,but there are some times come to our life that we need to convince them that we have the right decision,especially in the field of love,though they have the right to choose and decide we must follow our heart too when can we seek happiness and contentment.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
16 Mar 12
sometimes our parents must hear their kids needs.. right?? sometimes the parents must hear why we choose her or him.. right?
@soulist (2987)
• United States
12 Apr 12
I agree that our parents have good intentions. They try their best to look out for us even when we are older. Im in my late 20's and my parents still try to look out for me and want the best for me. They want me to make the right decisions and do still get disappointed when I don't make the right ones. But they key point is they let me make my choices. They voice opinions like when they did not like my former boyfriend, but they still let me make the decision because it was my life.
@sql_cell (1429)
• Indonesia
12 Sep 11
first, I'll ask my parents, the reason does not like my girlfriend. If there is an attitude that is not liked by my parents, I would say to my girlfriend, and asked him to change it. If my girlfriend, do not want change, I would ask why.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
12 Sep 11
wow...if your girlfriend say that this is her style, what would you like to do?? so, your current wife now is your girlfriend??
1 person likes this
@sql_cell (1429)
• Indonesia
13 Sep 11
I would invite my wife and my parents to talk together. To view the negative and positive side of style who believed my wife.
• South Korea
11 Mar 12
sometimes we will always hear our parents saying..you should have listen to me..or im telling you he will be just like this or that,,,or you would end up being like this and that..haha they are parents and you cannot take those worries they have for you..its just that sometimes we tend not to listen and see it for ourself..haha and thats good atleast you see it for yourself and maybe when you have your own children you will know what tactics to do..haha My conlclusion is family will always be with whatver happens..and parents will always be paretns..
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 12
i see sometimes our parents more know than us..
@dilrajj57 (1759)
• Pakistan
11 Mar 12
may their parent do right they keep in mind their children life.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
13 Mar 12
but i think many parents can give the good reason for their kids, why they dislike the couple of their kids
@jhuddith (222)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
The question is why do the parents dislike the boy or girlfriend? Perhaps they don't like the lover because of his personality, age difference, race, background, life style or perhaps the financial status. If the son or daughter is still young, the parents will surely feel they deserve an active voice in your choices. The parents only care about what's best on their child's life. I suggest that you will not rebel against them. You should listen to them as they need to listen to you. Talk to them. After that, you might try sort of small informal gatherings with your lover and the rest of the family. You should try to persuade that everyone should be polite and make an effort to interact positively. When you are in the gathering, try to focus the conversation/talk on neutral topics that will not create tension. The parents will slowly by slowly be more accepting when they find that the lover makes their child happy. This might mitigate their dislikes on the lover.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
16 Mar 12
but sometimes parents did not like our partners because they had another man or woman to us
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
14 Sep 11
Parents, do not like my lover, would have a reason. I will ask the reason for that? And I'll see if the reason my parents were right or not. If my parents were right, I certainly I will leave my lover.
• Mexico
12 Sep 11
Hi adhyz: The first thing that comes to my mind is that we should listen our parents. Their experience is valuable. But at the same time parents should understand that their sons and daughters have their own criteria and they should take their own decision. I think I'd listen to them but if I don't feel convinced about why should I break up with my girlfriend I'll say no and keep my relationship. I'll value their opinion but I have to make my own choices. ALVARO
@mantis36 (4237)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
Actually, your parents wish you have a good future someday before they fade to live on earth... no such parents want their children to be miserable someday... when you are going to be a parent soon, then you'll realize the reasons why your parents are sometimes over-caring to you because your parents love you so much... and the only thing for you to do to make your parents happy is to finish your study or schooling first so you may have a bright future.... or have a good permanent job first because all things now are very expensive... or have a business stable business first... either one or two of that you achieved... then be come back to your original lover because you promise to each other that you'll be waiting both of you and your lover until such time is a perfect time... then i am sure that your parents will voted YES!!! for your previous lover (that your parents not liked before)