family ties, a problem?

@tigeraunt (6331)
Philippines
September 10, 2011 11:36pm CST
i read a lot of times problems of mylotters in families. there is the miscommunication, jealousy, etc. within the family. they are stressed as to how to solve such private matters. i am happy that my family is very close knit. i give credit to my parents who has made sure that there is harmonious relations within the family. mom makes all of us eat dinner together (dad included ) as much as possible and everyone shares a story about what happened to their day. they encourage us to talk. sundays is family day even to married children. everyone gets together for a few hours and play board games, sing karaoke, video games. also time for family meetings when they want to bring up something that needs a decision by the family. and the best one is everyone gets a chance to participate in the cooking of lunch. we have a family tradition - december is always reunion time. i have sister who lives abroad and every christmas time, she makes it a point to be home for the reunion. and this one i guess is very important too. mom is always a referee with regards to conflicts. when she learns about it, she calls on whoever is not in good terms and make them work through the problem. she says it is not good to sleep with anger in your heart. she does not allow name calling and always tries to encourage compromise and stays there as long as it takes until everyone is satisfied with a solution. in my heart and in my mind - i cannot forget what she always teaches us - that there is no one that would help each other as intensely as anyone, but family. and that i find to be so true. can you share something about your family? are you close with everyone? ann
4 people like this
7 responses
• United States
11 Sep 11
I only have my sister and my nephew. I do have cousins , my uncle's children but we lost touch decades ago. And now I think I would just fade into the background at a large family gathering. I just wouldn't speak.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
sarah, that should not be the attitude. you should wear your best smile when you see them. and dont be shy to go around asking how they are and making yourself known. you'll see. conversation will just flow and then you will realize you are already enjoying the company. ann
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Sep 11
I could do that better at the sports bar. I see a fellow fan of a team, the ice is broken and I go from there. But family members that I haven't seen for decades? It isn't ice , it is a glacier.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
yes i know what you mean. but talking from experience, i have so many relatives that i havent talked too for a long time and relatives i only have seen that one time. it was a reunion of sort and i had to travel a day just to reach the place. well, some didnt seem nice or are shy or are aloof but then when i started greeting them each, i found they reciprocated positively and that was a good start. ann
1 person likes this
@DiaJ88 (170)
• Singapore
11 Sep 11
Hi tigeraunt. My parents divorced when I was 9. My siblings and I lived with my dad. When I was 13, my sister left to stay with mom. I loved weekends since its the only time I will meet my sister and mom. Sundays will be a good time for us to sit and talk, watch television together. My got married a few years ago and she's living with her husband now. Now every weekend I will call up my mom just to update her what is happening in my life. I will usually meet her only about once a month.My sister rented a room somewhere further away from us. Im quite close to her and we talk on the phone for hours nearly everyday and go out a few times a week. My friends envy on how close I am to my siblings. But I sure envy them for having parents living under the same roof.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
11 Sep 11
hello diaJ88, sometimes things dont work out the way we plan it to be. but constant communication with the people you love will always matter. i agree that close family ties is one thing to be envy about by people whose family is not harmoniously living. ann
@DiaJ88 (170)
• Singapore
11 Sep 11
Yes, and I value communication a lot. It is the only way to bring people closer to us. Thanks! :)
1 person likes this
@savypat (20247)
• United States
12 Sep 11
Families are a great deal of work and if those involved are not willing to work at the relationships there is always truble. Just because you are born or married into a family does not mean you can expect a good family just because it's a family.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
hi pat, but then, if only a husband/wife would care to be thoughtful and respectful and caring to his in laws, i guess, relationships would go very smoothly. one should know the weakness spots of in laws and start from there, like for example, they like a son in law who visits them at times and enjoys a game or a tv show with them; well, just simple things that would matter to them a lot. it is just giving time to know them more. although not every time something like this works out, but doing the effort and giving your best shot would do the trick. i know of in laws favoring more their son or daughter in laws than their own children. have a great day. ann
@SIMPLYD (78119)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
Like you, we are also raised that way by our parents. It's our father who would always tell us to always help each other, specially that we are all girls in the family. One of our sisters live with her family in Manila, but she would always come home to our hometown where our parents and other siblings are, whenever they could. We are all close to one another and helps each other in whatever problem there may be.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
hi simplyd, aint that wonderful? am sure plans of reunion of sorts are one the way especially that holidays are fast approaching. have a very nice day. ann
@pahak627 (4198)
• Philippines
11 Sep 11
My siblings and I are close to one another however we are not united because of problems with brother-in-law as well as my husband. I happened to have a husband who don't like my father, I guess he hated my father so much. I am hurt really whenever I go to my parents' house and my father was outside, my husband acts as though he has not seen my father. That is why I hate my husband for this. He does not know about what I felt. I just didn't tell him. He also does not acknowledge the help that my father and my 2 sisters had given him during the time of his accident. My father and my 2 sisters lent me money to pay for the hospital bills and until now I haven't fully paid it. According to my husband, he has no debt of gratitude from my father and his family because he is going to pay whatever was loaned to us. But 3 years has passed but no payment has been made by him. It was only me who paid little by little.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
hi pahak, this is sad you know. in laws should be close to each other. i have seen how difficult it is to handle relations with inlaws. the most important part of this relationship is respect on both sides. there is no peace when in laws are not in good terms. it is always you who is caught in the middle that suffers. ann
@bingskee (5237)
• Philippines
11 Sep 11
the values that parents instill are important. i believe that when an offspring feels that the family is always there, he or she will always treasure it. i was not close to my mom but i was to my father. he was a friend to me. we think the same, talk the same, he understands me. he does not judge me. but still i believe that moms should always be good examples. they are not only the light but the strength of the family. a great deal of what an individual becomes depend on what mothers impart.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
i find kids who grew up in a happy home are more confident than those families that are not. kids become sociable and easy to get along with if he/she has cousins and nieces and grandparents who are close to him/her. and the talent seems to be enhanced due to encouragements by these people. ann
@nezavisima (7418)
• Bulgaria
11 Sep 11
Family is very important to me. in every family there are many problems of whatever nature. but most importantly for a family trust and love knowing that you can trust your loved one and the same time to get support. my family and I are happy with us because things are going well. I hope all families to have order and harmony. nice day!
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
11 Sep 11
hello nezavisima, it is always a wonderful feeling to be constantly close with family members. there is always a happy feeling when you have peace and contentment in your heart knowing that everyone loves one another. thank you for your response. ann