Authentic Friendship

@janevi (889)
Philippines
September 11, 2011 10:57pm CST
Have you ever had an authentic friendship? How did you know that is authentic? How long did it take you to develop such kind of friendship? What are the challenges in keeping it? Can we still find such kind of friendship in our world today?
1 person likes this
7 responses
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
Friendship can remain authentic if both person can remain themselves despite the obstacles that challenges their friendship. This relationship, like any other, require adjustments from both end so that the relationship would flow smoothly.
3 people like this
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
To remain with one another or stick to one another through thick and thin is a great challenge that two persons need to surpass. It's not easy but like as you've said, if adjustments are made where they get to know one another, it is possible that they will be together. I think, one of its secrets is that they know one another that no matter what the circumstances that come their way, it cannot affect the trust and love they have for one another. Thank you for your insight.:-)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
Yep. If one is willing to adjust for a friend, he'll definitely earn someone he can rely on for possibly the rest of his life.
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
I definitely agree.:-) Their relationship has been tested and strengthened by their experiences.
@huilichan8 (1379)
• Singapore
12 Sep 11
Yes, I ever had authentic friendships b4. I knew they were authentic because we felt safe to share our feelings and so on with one another. We felt comfortable with one another. We could tease one another without getting offended. Some authentic friendships develop quickly while others take time. One of my authentic friendships developed pretty quickly while others were built over a few yrs. One of the biggest challenges in keeping such friendships is lack of time. For instance, when we enter the workforce, we would have less time for one another. Another challenge is when one gets married. I used to have a close colleague who became a good (and authentic) friend. But after she got married, her life began to revolve around her husband and eventually her kids as well. In response to your last question, my answer is 'yes'!
2 people like this
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
I agree with you huilichian. Our friends have different priorities when they start to have their own family but it does not mean that the friendship is no longer there. It is still there but not the top priority.:-) It is okay because, we naturally mature in dealing with our relationships and having other priorities is just normal Even having this does not also affect the authenticity of the friendship.:-)
• Singapore
13 Sep 11
I suppose you are right...btw, hv a great wk!:)
@bagarad (12304)
• Paso Robles, California
12 Sep 11
I have been privileged to enjoy many close friendships that have survived for over 40 years. As was mentioned, as changes come in life, friends can't spend as much time as they would like together, but once the foundation is laid, unless there arises some difficult problem in the relationship, when the friends get together its as though they never separated. Unfortunately, there are three such friends I won't see again in this life, because they have gone on to the next. But there are still a few very old friends that are still here. Most of them live several hours away, but we talk occasionally on the phone, email, and sometimes visit in person. I would have to say that in every case these friendships developed over a long period of regular time spent together. One friend, Valerie, had a daughter in the same school as my children and the two of us started having lunch together every week with two other women. This is how we became better acquainted. Then she started having Christmas Eve parties with all the families. As time went on we moved farther away and had to skip Christmas Eve, but now we are able to do it again. We also try to see each other one other time during the year. It's a foursome now, but it's so good to be with people who knew and loved my kids and who remember them as I do. We've all been through a lot together in what our children have suffered and we with them. We don't always agree, but we know how to disagree peacefully. Another old friend I met at work and we worked together for years and went out for lunch every week, if possible. We shared all our problems and prayed for each other and we still do a lot of that even though we now live about three hours apart and only see each other occasionally. Since I've moved here and had to work so hard at my business, I haven't had much time to spend with the new people I've met here. That's one reason I have no close friends here. The one we invested all our time in was very close and took all our time, but he is no longer on this earth. My husband has developed a new friendship, but I have not, since I rarely socialize. Friendships take a lot of time at the beginnng and then still need nuturing. I have lots of acquaintances at church, and have shared deeply with some of them on occasion, but we all are busy with our families and jobs and activities and have no time to nuture new friendships. There's also a part of me they will never know, since they did not know my children or who I was as a parent.
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
Congratulations to have them around through the years.:-) Maybe the reason why they last , as you've said is the QUALITY TIME SPENT being with one another. Through this, you get the chance to know more about their life, their joys and pains, their problems and difficulties. Sometimes, even if we can't really do something to solve their problem, but by just being their at their side was enough for them, right? Building authentic relationships through the years is not so much of what she given you or what she has done for you but the LIFE ITSELF, being shared to its core . Thank you for your insight and sharing.:-)
1 person likes this
@tessa9 (1086)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
My only authentic friend at the moment is my sister. I can tell her everything and she will not think twice to advice me against whatever if she sees that what I'm doing is wrong. We talk every night because that is the only free time we have. I had authentic friendships before but I always seem to screw things up. I use to always wonder why don;t I have a lot of friends but I actually had a lot of great friends. Although I know a lot of people, there are only few who I consider as real friends. I had a bestfriend in grade school but I screwed that up. I had a bestfriend in high school but I screwed it up. I had a bestfriend in college but I moved away. I do believe that we can still find true friends.
1 person likes this
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
Lucky you that you have your sister as your best friend. She will be for the est of your life even if there will be moments that you will not get along but the established trust you have for one another will be treasured forever. Grades school friends change in time but there are some that remains on a different level.:-) I do believe too that we still can find true and real friend.:-)
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
12 Sep 11
An Authentic friendship is when a person believes in you.Will never turn their back on you. Help you in need. Understand you. Listen to you when you have a problem. The person will forgive you if you ndid something wrong. If you find this you will do the same back! True friendship takes time but when you have it you'll have a friendship for life!
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
What you are saying here are the natural elements of a " GIVE and TAKE" in any relationships. Yes, true friendship is a product of the ups and downs in relating through the years, a product of deep knowledge of one another.:-) Thank you for your sharing .:-)
@eileenleyva (10964)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
Friendship is thus far the most exciting relationship we can play on in our lives. We meet people in childhood, or in our youth, and we filter them and choose who we like to be with best. And friendship develops. Some we carry on with long after school is done, and we call this friendship gold. Then we meet new people and we believe we like them, and as we carry on with new found friends, we call them silver. Gold and silver, I think, last a lifetime. That, I suppose, is what we call authentic friendship.
@eileenleyva (10964)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
Yes, I have a special list of authentic friends. They are very real.
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
I like the way you put it.:-) There are really friends that are worth keeping like gold and silver. Through time, they still remain and once lost, we could hardly find one like them.:-) They can truly last a lifetime.:-)
1 person likes this
@megamatt (14329)
• United States
12 Sep 11
I think that I would have what would be considered an authentic friendship a number of times. Of course, it is one of those tricky situations for sure. There are many times where friendships are most certainly do seem rather authentic. However, it is just one of those things that are a fleeting fancy. Where our friendship is nowhere near as strong as we thought it to be at first. It is rather downheartening but rather true as well. I do think that authentic friendship still is possible. It many ways, I would concede that it is also a dying art. Something that really is not going to be all that common in the world these days. There are just many times where I think that people tend to be friends for the sake of getting things that they want, not because of any genuine friendship. It is something that is sad but ultimately extremely true in the end. Hopefully we have friends that are authentic.
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
Maybe true friends are hard to find these days but I still believe that they are still existing.:-) It's quite true that there are people who just make friends because they want something from you. Its sad if one becomes a victim of this kind of friendship. In our very materialistic and technologically advanced world, i strongly believe that we still can find these" RARE GEMS" called FRIENDS.:-) Who knows we might find some here in mylOT community :-)