what do you do when you are in love with two people.
By humblejeff
@humblejeff (14)
Kenya
September 12, 2011 2:08am CST
Am in love with two people. One is my ex girlfriend and also my best friend and the other one is someone i met later after my breakup. Being with my ex girlfriend means i have to forget about this other girl. And being with this other girl means that i have to forget about my ex completely as she doesn't like it when ex s are involved even as friends. Yet i would like to keep my ex close since she has always been there for me and always will. I also want this other girl in my life.Am sure my ex wants to keep us as strictly friends but i would like more. Lets just say am confused.
12 responses
@GemmaR (8517)
•
12 Sep 11
I think you just need to sit and have a serious think about the way that you feel about these two people. Think about whether you feel close to them in a relationship kind of way or in a friendship kind of way; because the two things are very different. I thought that I was in love with a close friend of mine but it turns out that we're just really close friends and probably will be for the rest of our lives because of the things that we've been through and the memories that we will share forever because of those times.
@FarahJane1011 (180)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
love has no reasons and boundaries. if you really love someone, fight for it. In the end, there's no other but the two of you who will live together and be with each other for the rest of your life. Though i know blessings from our parents is very important, but if you can not get it now, then maybe in the long run, time will come they will learn to agree and accept your relationship.
But be sure that you are fighting for the right love and the right girl. ;-)
Good luck my friend.
@humblejeff (14)
• Kenya
12 Sep 11
i do love my ex but i dont think it can really turn into a long term relationship since she is older. My parents and hers might not agree to it
@FarahJane1011 (180)
• Philippines
12 Sep 11
Hmmnnn... Am also confused humblejeff! Seems like you really have a problem on that. But i think you just have to decide which of the two. You have to weigh your feelings towards each of them carefully in order not to regret at the end.
But you also have to make sure that the girl should also feel the same towards you. In this case, as what you have said that your ex girl friend only wants you as her friend, so it seems like she does not want to have an intimate relationship with you, and that friendship is all she could offer. By that alone, you will really know whom you should offer your love. But the question is, how deep is your love and to whom? You really have decide, and that would mean, you have to choose only one. You can not serve two masters all at the same time.
In order to make the relationship work, both should have an active participation on it. The two of you should nurture your relationship to make it work, it's always a two-to-tango. If only one is working, there's a great possibility that the relationship won't last. Both must be happy in order to succeed. Good luck my friend. ;-)
@humblejeff (14)
• Kenya
12 Sep 11
well i love the current girl more but its tricky in that she is quite unpredictable. She is the quiet type. Wont tell you when you offend her.She simply goes quiet which is not good for us since am also the quiet type. I do try to keep a balance by speaking out even when i feel i shouldn't since if we both go quiet it wont work. My ex on the other hand is quite open. Well am sure the only reason she would hesitate to get into a relationship with me is because she is a bit older than i am. Either way if i chose one of them and it doesn't work out i will have regrets in the future as i will have lost both
@FarahJane1011 (180)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
As I remember, it seems like your current is a jealous type of girl. If she will discover about your feelings to your ex, you will surely loose your current girl, and you wouldn't like that, right?
About your current girl being a quite type, i guess you will really have to make extra effort on that matter. Aside from love, constant communication is very important in every relationship to make it work. And since you already know her attitude try to adjust, as much as possible, encourage her to open up on you. Nurture her, don't rush. During your special moment with her, try to make her at ease and be patient, soon she will gonna be comfortable with you. But you cannot do this if you have any reservations in yourself, so you need to be open also.
Though i know men when it comes to patience..heehehe.. Just give it a try, and give time. ;-)
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
30 Sep 11
Wow, how can you love too many people?
choose one and stick to that person.
Love is not to cheat..so you need to choose only ONE.
@yansky23 (404)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
I've already felt that kind of feeling. But I just thought that it's selfish, you can never choose both of them at the same time. Think it the other way around, would it be fine for you if the person you love also loves someone else? Believe it, that the law of karma is true.
@humblejeff (14)
• Kenya
13 Sep 11
you have a point yansky. the thing is i really like both. me and my ex have always been close before this girl came along. i hope i will make the right choice
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
13 Sep 11
This may be how it is for everyone because no one person can meet all the needs that might be present all the time and so we do need other people. I like to think that love is free and we can love everyone we want to share that love with but then it is confusing to be in love. Perhaps being in love and loving is not the same. I have trouble being in love with two people at the same time let alone three. Two being another person and me.
@Ankitdhama (103)
• India
12 Sep 11
There are two things called love and affection. As I read what you write above, I think that you don't love any one of them. You feel one thing for both of them and that's affection.
Love means be honest and trustful to your partner. You are cheating both the girl. Just ask yourself if your girlfriend be in relation with you and she also wanna be in relation with someone else as well. How would you fell? Will you still be in relation with her? The answer is no. So you can understand what the both girls feel. So be honest with both of them and choose one of them whom you realy loves.
@humblejeff (14)
• Kenya
12 Sep 11
i would literary do anything for either of them.I love them both and though the amount of love is not the same, i would rather stay single than lose either of them as a friend.Right now am avoiding being intimate with either and waiting to see how it works out
@yansky23 (404)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
I already felt that kind of feeling, but i just thought it would be unfair for both of them if i'll let that kind of feeling grow. So just i need to drop 1 of them. It would be unselfish for me to choose both of them. You need to set the other one free.
@cow_boy29 (236)
• United States
13 Sep 11
yeah i am never in your situation but i can give you advice, you must asking your self who the one really do you love ? you must consider it, take time for alone, feel the lonely, think the girl
@naseemkum (1803)
• India
12 Sep 11
I mean to say that ur not in love with the both of them. If ur truly loved ur girlfriend u cant love anyother. If ur truly love with other girl u can surely avoid that ex girlfriend. Matter of fact u need two of them for ur sake. I dont say we should not love two girls but we should not love more than one at a time. Girls are so possessive about their boy friends.
@cvsuperman16 (72)
• Philippines
13 Sep 11
I do not think that being in love with two people is possible, I think that a person can love more than one person but a person cannot be in love with two people. That is not love , maybe infatuation...
