My friend doesn't let me talk with my crush?
September 16, 2011 6:34pm CST
Ok..me and my crush are EXTREMELY shy but 2 days ago I found out he likes me and he found out I like him. We have liked each other for 4 years now but we just started to have the courage to finally speak to each other. We have been really slow but I think he is the one for me... Yesterday and today we wanted to spend our time together but my friend started CRYING when both of us were alone and is really jealous because she says she likes him too. She was born with some retardation so please understand normal tactics don't work with her. To me this friend is like a little sister I treasure her a lot but this is getting out of hand. When I was JUST about to talk to him she PULLS my hand and takes me to the other side of the school. She said she did so on purpose to not let us be together. Honestly this is stupid because me and him are SERIOUS and we want to seriously spend our days together and get to know each other and stuff. To both of us just spending a day together means a lot...but we haven't been able too because my friend doesn't let me...more like I'm too shy..I can just talk to him when she's not around.. I felt like crying but she didn't care. She just took it as a joke. She has the mentality of an elementary student more or less but I don't know how to deal with elementary students well...my other friends tell me to just stop talking to her but I can't she has NO other friends I'm her only friend and I know how it feels to have a friend that means the world to you.. I am really pissed off at her and I feel like warning that if I keep being treated as a slave I will stop talking to her even if she follows me and cries..because it's not the fact she pulled me that made me mad it's her attitude because a real friend would be happy for my happiness. I even plan to take some days away from my crush to spend them with her since I just can't abandon her...I understand she's scared I won't hang out with her anymore to be with my crush but I don't know what to do..I want to be with my crush but their is also her who I honestly pity and don't want to leave alone at school. I'm conflicted with my happiness over hers but..then I'd just be controlled by her..what do you think I should do with this friend?
• Puerto Rico
22 Sep 11
I wish I could but not really. I do not spend time outside of school with neither of them. My mom wouldn't allow it either. I only have lunch hour which lasts from 11:30 to 12:30 from Monday to Friday. My friend isn't in my classroom neither is he. My mom doesn't allow me to talk by the phone and they don't chat on computers so my lunch hour is my only time. She wants to hang out with me at lunch hour but I would want to hang out with him. I could do: Monday-him Tuesday-her Wednesday-him Thursday Friday-him but this would be tiresome and forced. I'd mentally get tired as I'd only do so because I'd be forced by her...
• Puerto Rico
22 Sep 11
She is a psycho. She never had any real friends so I wanted to be the one to be there for her...but she lost my trust, my friendship and my help. I've scarified from studying, doing my hobbies, spending times with other friends for who? For her..but in the end all she's proved me is that she is extremely self-centered to the point she never really cared for all those times I was there. As long as SHE'S happy she could care less how I feel. All she wants is me to hang around with. I will get away from this girl and break bonds.
• United States
17 Sep 11
Talking with the mentally challenged can be really tough because they don't see the world as we do, because they're just not able to. I have a friend who became mentally retarded when he was 7, and retains the mentality of a seven year old. One of the things I could advise you is to constantly remember to get on her level; after all she is unable to get on yours. Speak in terms she will understand /very/ clearly, but do so tactfully and not maliciously. You might want to pull her aside or when you two are alone with no one to bother you that you feel that she isn't valuing the friendship you two share because she is being selfish. You also need to state that just pulling you away from him and preventing you two from being together does not mean that will make him like her any more or less. I hope this helps, let me know if you need advice.
• Puerto Rico
22 Sep 11
Thank you for your kind reply. It's been almost a week and I've barely hanged out with her. I've been busy with club activities. Me and my crush kinda just forgot bout each other..at least him. I knew this would happen but even without my crush in the main picture this friend of mine wasn't that great of a friend since before. I decided I'm gonna break the friendship. I've been helping her tremendously in the past year but in one of our conversations she blurted out how mad she was I had "never" been there to help her out. I always have truly cared for her! This hurt me, with only those words I could tell she only cares about her own needs and not mines. I think I might get a chance to talk to her tomorrow. I'll simply set her aside and tell her "____ I'm sorry but I do not want to be your friend anymore. Please don't search for me, don't stalk me, don't pull me aside, try not to cry but I have done more than enough for you. In fact to me you are like a little sister but I do not waste my time with fake friendships and you're one of them." It sounds REALLY harsh and I KNOW she will cry and maybe spread weird rumors about me but I'll keep strong. It's true, I do not waste my time with people such as this. I understand she doesn't understand this things well but that is NO excuse to allow somebody to USE me when I just wanted to help and be friendly.