Nothing But Pennies
September 16, 2011 9:33pm CST
When I was with my ex, I started saying, "Another penny!" whenever I found another lie or broken promise. Eventually his dishonesty destroyed our marriage. Let me explain about the penny. When I first met my ex, he showed me a copper 1943 penny, supposedly worth thousands of dollars, as a brag item. I was, of course, impressed initially. Later in the marriage we were having financial difficulties and decided to have the penny appraised. Well, upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a 1948 copper penny with the 8 filed down to look like a 3. As it turned out, my ex was, himself, a penny. He had made me three promises before we were married, all of which he failed to keep, and he was a pathological liar. He had this attitude of, "If I believe my own lie, then it isn't a lie." Right! So he would convince himself that his lies were truth and would fight to the death to prove himself right. Well, I have done my level best to avoid any other "pennies" walking around in this world. Do you have any "pennies" in your life? How do you deal with them when you meet them? Trust is a big issue, n'est ce pas? Can you really love someone who is not trustworthy?
19 Sep 11
hi friend, I'm really sorry for what happened to you, I never had a penny for a partner, rather I think I found a genuine gold coin or something worth much morethat's why I've been with this coin for more than 15 years and we both plan to keep our vows and raise the children by god's grace the best we can. I'm not interested in any other coin friend even if somebody shows me a whole new collection,LOL might make the mistake of trading my gold coin for a lousy penny with an altered date
20 Sep 11
thanks for wishing me well friendbut I think it's more than just another 15 year term, my god it's a life time sentence!Commitment I mean(just kidding), seriously my wife is really a great person to be with, very supportive
17 Sep 11
It's hard to really love someone if he is not trustworthy. You have the same ex as I had and people like that are a lost case. As they believe strongly what they tell, they make whole new stories and histories and are also able to make others believe this is true. For me the true is important and you have to keep your promise if you make one no matter what. I found out most people never keep their promises and many men think completely different from women and simple. My new bf is one of them. I don't think he lies but he is just a simple man and he is saying that too. So this is also a reason for him not to keep his promise (like a simple thing shave every day). I don't think he is doing it all on purpose, he seems to forget it too. A fight is not a fight for him, he doesn't like it, loves his peace and doesn't like stress. So it's impossible to have a good discussion with him and to tell him what bothers you. It's better to ignore it and see to get what you want in an other way. If you talk to him you have to it like a two year old kid. My daughter of 5 is way smarter. I talked to many friends about this and they all have the same problem. Men make up their own lives. Yesterday I saw dr Phil (might be older program) same subject, men just don't understand what women talk about, complain about, want. You have to be straight with them. Make short sentences etc. If you want a new relationship you should not take the promises seriously, or the lies, men like to show off. If you keep on doing that it will be hard to have fun, to love, to enjoy your life.
• United States
17 Sep 11
I'm sorry, but these were big promises, not small ones like not leaving the toothpaste cap off. He promised such things as not letting me see him drunk and quitting smoking. These were killers. He also brow-beat me and was abusive because his idea of honesty was so warped and I wanted him to be honest with me. The man was a total loser. I remember once looking a little sad and he asked me what was wrong. I just sighed and said I felt a little taken for granted and he went ballistic on me. I was not coming down on him, just being honest about how I felt and he jumped all over my case over it! No, not all men lie. I have known many honorable men in my life. My ex just was not one of them. I also have known men who do keep their promises...my father was one...so no, not all men are like that.