Relating to Others and the Self
By Ram Bansal
September 17, 2011 8:51pm CST
Humans are social animals and hence correlated to each other in many ways, but the most basic element of all the relationships is 'love', having very widely meaning connotations and interpretations. Love joins male females to carry on the stream of life on earth. I have a feeling, we are too much bothered about getting related to others, so much so that we forget to get related to our own individual self. This realization developed recently when I got a sudden detachment from a so-called beloved. Now I feel that I was chasing a mirage. This detachment provides me an opportunity to look into myself, and I have become some sort of contemplative about this. Relating to one so deeply, as I was, was like a prison closing my doors to many others and even to myself. Now I feel freedom to interact with others and myself. Friends, please tell me what do you think about these issues.
18 Sep 11
There are no issues, simply put. We all think the right thing at the right time. The more we relate to others with a sense of attachment, we feel bound, but when we see others as the reflection of the self, then we feel free. Celebrate freedom!
19 Sep 11
i think this only stands though if you feel bound by the other person. my partner and i live in a wee "bubble" away from everyone else. we see our friends and family, but we generally have a lovely little life together and we love it that way. many people say we are doing damage cutting ourselves away from everyone else from time to time but this is where we feel happy and content and safe.. both of us!! ..we feel free being together.. so i think this lack of freedom only applies if one of the lovers is "caged"
19 Sep 11
like i said in a comment under one of your other comments.. my partner and i lead a life very much bound to each other. we are always in each others pockets, we know every single thought and movement between one another.. and apart from seeing our friends and family we do nothing apart.. but we feel free like this. not bound!
• United States
19 Sep 11
I agree. We need to interact with other people but we do not have to get so attached to them that we lose who we are as an individual. I know alot of folks, both male and female who can not live alone. I am not one of those people. Though I am happily married and have been deeply in love with my husband for over 10 years now I would not shrivel up and die if he were gone. I was on my own for many years before we met and married. It is good to have a long lasting relationship with a partner, child, parent, or friends as long as you don't lose who you are along the way. You have to maintain that "me" time. You have to have your own personal hobbies or things you do just for yourself. It is good that you are looking at this "detachment" from the other person so positively. Take the time to find out who you are. You will not be successful in any relationship if you don't know who you are.
18 Sep 11
I understand love as an action that begins by learning to understand and love onedelf. If I don´t know myself and I don´t love me as I am and in spite of what I am, I cannot even try to love someone else because I don´t really know what love is. So, as you say, love begins by learning about myself and loving what I see. That knowledge , the knowledge of love lets me love anyone else.