When we are at a public place do others notice us?

@dpk262006 (56473)
Delhi, India
September 19, 2011 12:38am CST
Hi all! We all love to get ready and dress up and go out. We see ourselves umpteen times in the mirror, whether we are looking good and smart. We neatly comb our hair and apply all kind of things to look beautiful and handsome. However, when we are at a public place, we find that people are too engrossed in themselves that they hardly have any time to look at us. Those of us, who are working, sometimes also feel that no body notices our new dress or outlook. We feel disappointed to see their attitude and sometimes, we pointedly tell them – “Look, I am wearing a new outfit” or “I have changed my hair style, how am looking now?” Normally, everyone remains too busy to notice us, barring some exceptions, therefore we should not grudge that we are not noticed. It does not matter to many what we are wearing on a particular day. They even do not remember what we worn the previous day. For that matter we also can not recollect on most of the occasions what our colleagues or friends, who meet us daily, worn the previous day. What are your experiences and what are you considered views in this field, please share with us.
7 people like this
39 responses
@MsTickle (24983)
• Australia
27 Sep 11
I like to be neat and stylish when I go out but I don't continually look at myself in the mirror and I don't care what others think. I dress to suit myself, no-one else. If I was dressed so as to draw attention to myself I would feel really uncomfortable. I notice people if they look super stylish and I notice people who are over dressed and dressed inappropriately. I certainly don't take any notice of what people are wearing on a day to day basis...personally, I find that sort of thing a bit shallow.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
7 Oct 11
It is good to hear that you wish to look smart and you notice others also, who are neatly dressed.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (53186)
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
I'm the type of person who feels embarrass when somebody notices the changes in myself. I don't want anybody to mention it. I don't want people's attention on me, but unluckily the people around me always notice that. I don't notice other people as well unless they are my close friends.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
19 Sep 11
Hi toni! Great to see you here. You see if you have changed your style of dressing or you are wearing a new outfit, you will automatically get noticed, either you like it or not.. It is another matter that some would express it and some would skip to mention. You say that you do not notice others, till they are your close friends. It means that your close friends should take note of it and should dress up nicely.. Thanks for sharing your views.
@SIMPLYD (81327)
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
I am a person very gracious with compliments. No matter how busy i am, if i find you stunning, i would stop and take a second good look at you and express my admiration. I think some people are too shy to give one a compliment, though they find you particularly looking good that day. But still, you can see the glow in their eyes just looking at you.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
19 Sep 11
Hi Simplyd! Your response is so charming and sweet that we could be face to face and you could notice me and could pass on some compliments to me. Believe me, it is one of your best traits that you do not fail to appreciate others, if they are wearing something special. You are right that some are too shy to throw compliments or admire others due to many reasons. Thanks for joining and sharing.
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
I think people notice us but they keep to themselves. It is like a wide competition out there on who where the dress better or why someone chose to go with this hairstyle. People are constantly judging each other base on their appearance (and not the person itself) but they do it in their brains and not blurt it out for some reasons of theirs. When laziness hit me, I don't usually care what I dress to my mother's agony. She always tells me to look nice and proper (and girly, which I abhor) in public so I won't be judged but I already thought that they already judged me by expecting that I wear some some girly stuff that irritates me. Society has its own standards on whether a person is presentable or not and the wearer (whether a celebrity or a common person) doesn't even know whether they handed in everybody's good graces or is the subject of mockery behind their backs. I guess what your pointing out is that we all wanted to be noticed by everybody and the easiest to do that is to change our appearances. However, I am more interested in the motive on why we change our appearances - if it is personal or becuase of others and trends. I cannot answer that theory but I think it is a combination of both. I would like to end that appearances can be deriving or can be manipulated to suit some person's motive or intentions. What we appear on the surface is is just a scrape of what we really are (unless you're the type who wear their heart in a sleeve). Basically, as the old saying goes,'never judge a book by its cover'.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
19 Sep 11
Hi jean! You have made an interesting point that 'people normally judge us, but they may not always speak about what they think about our dress/hair style.'It could be correct because some of our friends or colleagues are expressive and some of them are not. On any given day, when you dress up casually, you do not bother what others will think about you because according to you they have already judged you. It is true to some extent that we want to get noticed by others and our outwardly appearance helps in it. You are right that our inner-self matter more than our outwardly manipulated appearance. BTW, I do not judge a book by its cover. Thanks for joining us and sharing your views.
@Shavkat (64928)
• Philippines
3 Aug 12
I paid attention to somebody if the person create an appropriate actuation or they seems so different to look at.
• Pamplona, Spain
30 May 12
Hiya dpk., Most times I will take notice of what they are wearing and if they have changed their hairstyle too. I do notice most of the time if people are wearing something different it´s something I can´t help doing. If I don´t feel it´s the right time to comment about what they are wearing I will tell them another time. Here I live in a country where no one really compliments others on what they wear I don´t why it is but that is the way a lot of them are. First of all I pay attention to myself most of the time and then to the rest but I do like to approve other People in a nice way like what they are wearing and all that kind of thing. It´s sad that most people are too busy to notice us yes but hey I do try and if I would have seen you and your wife I would have commented on how nice you look.xxx
@allknowing (68514)
• India
19 Sep 11
This thought has occurred to me umpteen number of times and you are so right. If at all we take the trouble to dress up it should be for our own satisfaction and not for anyone else as they will not notice. In the good old days it was a different matter when the so called designer wear was so rare and noticeable. I would wait eagerly to see my friends' reaction if I had something nice to show off.I remember my husband had bought me a crocodile leather bag and it was the talk in the office! Those were the days!
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
19 Sep 11
Hi all! Thanks for agreeing with me. You are right that we should dress up for own satisfaction, not for others. Having said that yet in our hearts of heart, we still desire to be noticed by someone without we telling him/her. You have quoted a relevant example of your crocodile bag.
@allknowing (68514)
• India
19 Sep 11
While I do agree that all of us would want to be admired the fact remains these days one does not find it and that should not deter us in any way. I reiterate the fact that if we make it a point to dress well regardless of who notices us there will be countless well dressed people round us!
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
19 Sep 11
In a party or in a function, you would find that there would be many who have dressed up very well and it gets difficult to single out, who is better than the other.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
I would think that most of them would notice me, at least that is my imagination so I would try to dress well and walk straight... In fact, they most definitely did not notice us unless we act strangely or dress weirdly... the same as we never noticed anything unless it was extraordinary...
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Hi jen! How do you know that others notice you .........? Hope you don't wear extra-ordinary dresses everyday.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
It was my imagination... my make believe that I am a princess and that everyone bows to me and would notice me everywhere...
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
22 Sep 11
It means you live in 'make-believe' world . There is nothing wrong in assuming yourself as a Princess.
@kiran8 (15354)
• Mangalore, India
19 Sep 11
Hi deepak, LOL I found it amusing to actually think of it - But that is human nature, too engrossed in themselves to notice others.However, it is different with ladies, they notice but will not acknowledge it unless the person is a friend or close to you.At my school, we all notice the new sarees and jewelery etc that other teachers wear and sometimes depending on the mood would like to start a discussion too on it lol...seriously Deepak, why should we bother about others, we should dress and look presentable for ourselves. When we look at ourselves in the mirror we should feel that we are looking good! all the best
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Hi Kiran! The responses to the discussion has revealed that it is women who are more concerned who is wearing what?. It is interesting to hear that at school the whole lot of teachers discuss about new sarees and jewelery etc.. It is correct that we should dress up nice and should look presentable, whenever we are going to a public place. Have a great day!
@kiran8 (15354)
• Mangalore, India
21 Sep 11
LOL, I guess sarees and jewelery is one weakness that most women have and cannot help !After all there is such a variety of sarees around you ,and you have just one life to enjoy all the god things in life ...
@kiran8 (15354)
• Mangalore, India
21 Sep 11
sorry typo error - Good things in life
@celticeagle (119060)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Sep 11
We do? When I was a young girl I used to play Princess and loved to dress up. In my mid thirties and up a ways I like to dress up, put make up on and go out. BUt not so anymore. Men notice pretty women and women notice interesting men. But rather than that we hurry through our day and don't notice others much.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Hi cel! I believe that you still are like a Princess . Many are in a hurry and do not bother to notice others.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119060)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Sep 11
Me still like a princess? Oh, that is funnny. A haggy one maybe. hehe Thanks though.
• United States
19 Sep 11
I think that some people might be too absorbed in themselves to notice others, but I think that many people do notice others. I believe that how much a person gets noticed, though, does not depend as much upon how they are dressed, although that may be one of the factors, but more on their personality and attitude. Someone that keeps his or her head down and tries not to attract attention is not going to get noticed as much as someone that walks with his or her head held high and projects an air of confidence.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Hi pur! You are right that many people notice us, however, one few of them express it verbally or with gestures, due to reasons best known to them, they like to keep mum about our outlook. Personality also plays an important role in attracting others, I fully agree with you.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Sep 11
I think that maybe some people are too shy to express it when they like how someone looks or admire how they are dressed, etc. Others are sometimes just too busy, although they do notice and may even intend to say something but get caught up in work or something else needs their immediate attention before they have the chance to mention it. I think that perhaps more people should take a minute or two to express when they like something about another person, because I think that would go a long way towards boosting people's confidence, self-esteem, and attitude.
• Malaysia
19 Sep 11
Well if you're talking about the general public, that is to say, random strangers you meet in these public places, then they're not likely to notice how you dress. Unless there's something really eye-catching and extraordinary about your outfit. Your friends and colleagues, however, if they were to see you everyday, then they're more likely to notice any changes in your look such as your hairstyle. But even so, sometimes they're too busy to notice any changes. I personally, did not notice my friend had cut her hair and when I commented she looked at me strangely and went, "I actually cut my hair a week or so ago. You just noticed?"
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Hi there! Our friends and colleagues only notice us or compliment us only when we wear something new or extra-ordinary.. It means that you remain engrossed in yourself and do not look around?
• Malaysia
25 Sep 11
I guess sometimes we're just too caught up in our work or too busy to really stop and notice things. Even so, I do hope I'm able to notice any changes next time.
• United States
19 Sep 11
Speak for yourself, lol. I get up . I get dressed , 99% of the time that means a t-shirt and jeans , and then I feel like I am invisible. Ever since I was a little girl I felt as though I was invisible when outside. So it would be disturbing to know people even see me! So when a co worker likes the shade of blue I'm wearing I am amazed and I say thank you! Now my friend if I saw you and you had changed from the last time I saw you , Before you even get to say Hi!. I would say you changed your hair! Is that a new shirt? I do it to many of my co workers. I notice hair cuts, colorful outfits and because they are not strangers I do say something.With strangers, I'm shyer. but I did compliment a cop about his tattoo!
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Hi Sara! It means that you wish to remain invisible and till someone specifically tells you - Hi, you are looking beautiful or your particular outfit is looking awesome, you do not wake up from your slumber .............. It is nice to hear that you do check up, which of your colleague is wearing something new and you pass on your compliments to him/her.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Sep 11
It is more that I Still feel invisible. I am not blonde nor am I a size 4 so why would anyone " see" me? So I don't try. And yes if a co worker is wearing something I like , I will tell them .I take after my mom in this regard. She would stop strangers and tell them they liked what they were wearing!
@sweety_81 (2129)
• India
21 Sep 12
Well, things do not always work in our favour regarding dresses. At times, we expect others to just talk about our look(s) and dress(s). At other times,we are not much concerned. It varies from time to time, and from place to place. Sometimes, it makes us feel good, bad at other times.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
4 Oct 12
Do you prefer that when you are wearing a new dress, others should talk about it?
@Sreekala (23584)
• India
23 Sep 11
Hi Deepak, Yes deepak, you are noticed by at least one person on every day. It is not necessary to share their views all the time especially with unknown people… I am good on observing and judging. I do observe people when I am in bust stop because I don’t have any other job that time but to wait till my bus come. But it does not mean that I remember all those dress worn by strangers… if there is an attractive dress it will be in our mind…
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
26 Sep 11
Hi Sree! I agree with you that our colleagues/friends notice us, however, they may not express it every time to us. It is nice to hear that you keep observing people, while waiting for your bus. Thanks for sharing your views.
@0CoOlGuY0 (103)
• Portugal
19 Sep 11
I'm pretty shy so i actually prefer people not staring at me xD!!! On the other hand i actually notice when someone is looking of wearing something different ^^
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Even if you are shy, could you stop others from not looking at you, you can not ......... Don't feel shy, all are like us. Welcome to mylot.
@patgalca (14557)
• Orangeville, Ontario
19 Sep 11
This subject is a double edged sword. As Dr.Phil says (and I can't remember the exact quote), you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how little they think about you. However, we dress up not just for others but for ourselves, to make ourselves feel good. If you expect people to comment on your new hairstyle ("Wow you look great"), does that mean you didn't look great before the new haircut? Now not everyone will think that way but people making the comments feel they have to be careful not to offend so they say nothing at all. On the other hand, we are very quick to look at other people and judge them. We KNOW what WE do, so we have to assume that others are doing and thinking the same things about us. As much as we may not want to admit it, we will look at a complete stranger and think "Look at what they are wearing! Ugh!", or "Wow isn't that guy/girl a knock-out?" We shouldn't care what other people think. That's the bottom line and the truth. But in reality, most people are looking at others and judging them on their outside appearance, which is something we all complain about because it's what's inside that matters. It's a very hypocritical society. You can't win for trying. IMHO
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Hi pat! I love the quote - [b]"you wouldn't worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew how little they think about you." [/b]. You are very right that we dress up for ourselves and not for others and if they have to like us, they will do so not only because of our outfits but because of our other traits. It is better not to think too seriously what others think about us. This will give us some kind of peace.
@jaiho2009 (39013)
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
hello dpk, Nice topic here. I am too busy when I am doing offline work that I am not aware that my officemate is wearing a new dress or done new hair style (hehehe) No- just kidding,I appreciate people around me and notice the changes and how they looks. Have a good day
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Hi Jai! It is not fair on your part that you do not notice others (read your friend/colleagues) and remain engrossed in yourself only.. Hopefully, they expect that you should complement them, when they happen to wear a new outfit.
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
my friends used to call me an antisocial cause i don't go out that much--i grew up people looking at me differently for reasons that i walk funny and im a bit on the geeky side so i chose to hide. it was then i realized that people actually have the same concerns that i do,people don't actually notice us that much cause they're much too concerned themselves about what others might say or think--or if they're noticed
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
Hope you would have learnt your lessons by now and would have turned social from anti-social and you provide opportunity to others to appreciate you and vice versa.
• United States
19 Sep 11
Hello dpk! I do take a great deal of time and effort in how I look, dress and feel about my dressing up. I do enjoy it very much and have for several years. But I only do so for myself. In fact I am very modest when it comes to people noticing, although I do thank them but I try not to emphasize it word wise. Reason I feel I do this is that when I do put forth a great deal of effort to get all dolled up, I do so specifically for me and not for what others think. I do get a great deal of compliments but there are times that I can honestly say I do not which is okay. But funny and so cute is that I have a unique way of naturalizing my make-up and because of my past part-time fashion career, I own a great deal of clothing. So it is so cute and funny that I may not get spoken compliments, but then I notice the women in my environment mirroring my look. This is so cute, and I will not point out that they are doing like me as I would think that would embarrass them. So instead I chuckle inside and say, they must really like my style. Which for me is a great compliment. I took notice to this in jobs, and during entertainment events. I like it.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Sep 11
HI HWG! It is indeed great to hear that you spend considerable time dressing up and love to be noticed and complimented by others. As you have fashion background, therefore, it is easier for you to dress up nicely and attractively. I am sure that when you go out in a party or at a public place, all women turn towards you and their eyes gaze you like anything. Thanks for sharing.