having children

@humairaku (2039)
Indonesia
September 19, 2011 1:40am CST
Hi, Mylotters..!! Some people said that having a baby will make their life brighter and happier. Even some couples will do anything to have a baby. Some couples should wait for 5 years or more to get a baby. Some couple have IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) program to reach their dream having a baby, and they should pay for it expensively. but, some people don't want to have baby. They said that having baby will impede their career development, or others said that babies just make them busy, babies are also dirty and noisy. They don't want to spend their time having a baby, or their fun time is interrupted because of crying baby. What about you, Mylotters? What do you think about having a baby? Thanks for sharing and happy Mylotting..!!!
2 people like this
16 responses
• United States
19 Sep 11
i dont want anyone to think i am being mean or take offense to what i am about to say it is just my person opinion i am not a baby person even when i was a little child i never played with baby dolls i always played with my stuffed animals i would rather have a puppy or kitten or foal or someother kind of baby animal than i would a human baby i dont even find human babys cute i think a newborn puppy is cuter than a human baby i dont know why i think this way i have always been really good working with animals but not kids so i dont want any kids i do think at least at this point in my life they would be impeding on my career
1 person likes this
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
so you don't have baby in your future? may I know are you married? I'm sure that many people like you out there, they don't want to have baby cos of any reasons. but it's alright cos people could decide what they desire of something or not. raising baby is very challenging. we should take care of them every single second. we dedicate all of our time watching them cos we don't want them getting sick or accident. it must be far different with raising baby animals. so baby is truly demanding. but ya, it's the risk. but for me, the struggle and pain are worth cos I could get big happiness from my baby..
@ily12011 (108)
• United States
20 Sep 11
Some people just aren't made for kids while others are.. as long as you are ready and stable there is nothing wrong with having a baby. Some people try to have kids just for the fun of it and to live off the government, while others that support them self's try super hard and can't have kids.. but i guess thats just how life works.. i wasn't ready to have a baby in no way and im only 20 , i have my daughter at 17 but i have taking care of her every way possible..by my self. financially not so much cause i didn't have a job. but my family was there for me when i needed them and still are. I didn't plan on the pregnancy but i wish i would have waited but, i would not take back my daughter for the world.. she is my life and i dont know what i would do without her.. plus like everyone says , stuff always happens for a reason. :)
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
it's sad knowing you had already had a baby when you were 17. it must be hard at that time, rite? but today, it's just a kind of memory which is funny or happy to tell..or not? actually I wanted to delay of having baby in the beginning of my marriage life but my husband couldn't afford to have a baby soon. I just followed what he desired cos my husband is everything for me. and it's not bad at all. I was so happy of having a baby cos my baby is so healthy and beautiful. even some of my friends said that she is so smart. ya, it's so hard and challenging raising a baby but it's compatible with the happiness she brings. and just like you, I don't know what my life would be without her..
@ily12011 (108)
• United States
21 Sep 11
No Its Not Sad.. :) I was young a dumb and didn't want to take precaution. Yes It was very hard being young but i did it by myself with the help of family financially . i am very proud of my self that i raise a beautiful baby girl.and she is very very smart for her age. i didn't plan on her to come but when i found out i grew up a lot and took on the responsibility that i brought on for myself..Their are a lot of teens having baby's. as long as they take care of the baby , i think its fine. its not the best cause they can't go to college and it holds back there dreams for w little bit. but just cause u have a baby/kid don't mean you cant do what you dreamed of. people just use it as a excuse cause they don't want to do it no more or their just lazy.. :)
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
ups, I'm sorry..I only said what I felt. it's great for you cos you're able to get all o it through by your own. I think you're really really tough woman. not all women like you. maybe they decided to do abortion cos they were too young to be a mother. being mother is not only about delivering baby rite? mother also takes a big responsibilities in taking care of her baby, avoiding them from getting sick or injured. and it's not easy at all. so when you decided to have the baby at age 17, it's so amazing..even I couldn't imagine how was your feeling at that time..but, once again, two thumbs up for your bravery and strength..
@Galena (9123)
19 Sep 11
it's not something I've ever wanted out of life. nothing to do with careers or mess or noise. I've just never felt a desire to HAVE one. and my life with just me and my husband is wonderful, and I feel complete already. there is nothing missing in my life. if it goes on like this forever, I will be happy.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
in my place, it's rare women have idea like you, Galena.. some people said that life is just about choices, you may choose which part you want to belong or what kind of life you want to lead. I choose to have a baby cos for me and my husband, marriage without baby is plain and incomplete. and it's so different with your choice. may I know, don't you curious how your baby will look like? I mean baby is the combination between wife and husband, not only the face and body but also in their attitude. don't you want to know about all of it?
@Galena (9123)
21 Sep 11
well if it ever happens by accident, I'll find out. obviously, you occasionally wonder about those sort of things, but curiosity isn't reason enough to bring a life into the world. if not, well, then my life continues happily on. I think it's a big responsibility, and unless you REALLY want to do it, it's probably a good idea not to.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
22 Sep 11
yeah..my surrounding made me behave like this. maybe in the other part of my place, out there, there are some women have idea like you but they're not around me that's why I wonder of it. it's not about good or bad but it's about habit. some people around me have baby carelessly. they pushed to have baby (marriage SHOULD 'produce' a baby, if not you'll be questioned along your life why your marriage doesn't 'produce' a baby..silly? mmmm..maybe little bit..LOL) then they raise their baby carelessly. bad in behaving them and not too well educated because of lack of money. you're right about having big responsibilities in raising a baby but sometimes we've just known that we could be a responsible person we have already got the 'problem'..
• Canada
22 Sep 11
This depends on the people who are making the choice. There are too many people who have no experience with children whatsoever, and have not even taken the time to get to know children to see if they will like them or not, who have them just because they are expected to by society/the family. Before having children, you should try to have some time with many different children and see if you really do love children. If you do, and you want to be a parent, then children will really brighten your life! If you can't stand children, you will regret having them, and the children will be able to feel that you wish they weren't around. There's no reason to inflict that pain on an innocent child. I guess I'm trying to say that it is everyone's choice, but it's a big decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. I know I made the right decision to have my daughter!
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 11
sometimes life couldn't give those opportunity. I mean sometimes we couldn't any researches first before we finally decided we want to have a baby or not. but don't you think it's too ridiculous that we should make those researches before we have a baby? LOL. I mean having a baby is not like a kind of having a motorbike or new gadget so we should do some trials and errors. having a baby such a blessing for me. maybe when I have a baby I wasn't ready yet and I took it for granted. but sometimes we know we are ready just when we got it. I mean having baby has no theory. it could be learned of course but having and learning is far different..
• Canada
26 Sep 11
Finding out whether or not you will be a good parent is FAR more important than buying the right motorbike! I find it shameful that people will put more thought into purchasing an inanimate object than into creating a new life, which is a whole separate person with thoughts and feelings. A child needs love and affection, demonstrated in certain ways, to grow up to be a happy and productive member of society. Having a child before you know if you even like children is quite irresponsible. As a species we have moved beyond having children automatically simply because it fulfills a biological urge to perpetuate our genes. If you don't know how to take care of a motorbike, it does not spend its whole life suffering! Yes, you can learn how to raise children and parent them successfully by being exposed to many different children of all ages, abilities, and temperments. Not everyone will be a teacher or coach who is exposed to thousands of different children, but surely it is not too much to ask that you at least babysit some other children for a few hours at a time so that you understand how children feel and think before you have one of your own? Why should a vulnerable human being who does not understand suffer as you "learn on the job"? Sometimes pregnancies occur by accident. In which case the parents still have several months to get used to children before their own arrives. And minding other people's children is a good way to earn a little extra money! Really, there is no reason to be unprepared for a child.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 11
you're so true then..but we should exclude people who live in a poverty condition such as in some parts of India, the girls are forced to get married at very young age. and they have babies at very young age too. it's so horrible. back to our discussion, you're right that someone who has got married should prepare themselves to face pregnancy cos pregnancy is the logic event of a marriage. so they will get pregnant sooner or later (of course women with problems are excluded). a new mother should learn everything related with pregnancy, not only about how to take care of newborn baby but also how to treat themselves after delivering baby. it's important to avoid them having bad baby blue syndrome. so, I do agree with you that women should prepare themselves before having baby. it's one of proves they responsible to their own life and their baby life. but, do you know what is the indicator for woman, they are ready to be a mother or not? :)
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
20 Nov 11
I think that it is best to study for good qualifications. Then it is best to get a wonderful career. All this can happen from age 18 to 25 years old. Then between 25 and 30 years old is the ideal time to have a first baby. A second baby can be born when the lady is between 30 and 35 years old. Some ladies fit in having a second baby before age 40 years old. I know that in the late twenties a lady has much energy. That makes it perfect for having a baby. Having a baby makes a couple happy but it can make them tired.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Nov 11
I have my first child at 27 and now she is almost five years old and I am 31. but I still don't have a planning to have a child again. I wait for my first child growing up so when she has younger sister or brother, she will be more independent and able to take care of herself. I will wait for two or three years later to have a child again. I hope in that age, my daughter will be more mature and she won't depend again to her parents to take care of herself so I can take care of my baby more relaxingly. but you're right about having baby before 40 cos in that age, we will be very old to take care of a baby in that age. and we will be so old to raise baby. so it's better for woman to have baby before 40..how about you, Max.do you ave baby? :)
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
25 Sep 11
I think that pregnancy is an exciting time and it is lovely looking forward to meeting my little baby. I have a 2 year old daughter, a 4 year old disabled son and a 16 year old son. I was able to get pregnant naturally and if I hadn't I think I would have decided to adopt. It can be possible to work part time to get the ideal work and home balance. I have had my pregnancies and wouldn't wish for another. Due to my disabled son being in a wheelchair it would be hard to know where to put my baby if I had another one. I had a buggy with a doubles kit for my two youngest kids until my disabled son got his wheelchair.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 11
you have three children! it's great! :) and about your disable son, I'm sorry to hear that. it must be hard to lead life everyday with disable son beside you. but I'm sure you're great mother so you can face this test patiently. in my religion, taking care of children is one of good deeds so God will see it as our sacrifice and He will give us heaven as our reward. so if you have disable son, your efforts are harder than other mothers so your reward is more than them..so keep struggling, Mom..and heaven is waiting for you in the end of your life..
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
Well, for me I consider a baby as a gift. Everybody should keep in mind that it feels so good to have a baby. Even though I do not have one. I'm still single but I just can relate to your post because currently we are enjoying our welcome to our new member of the family. My cousin's wife had just delivered her firstborn child. Though were not yet expecting it to happen because were having problems regarding money, still we consider the child as a blessing. No matter what problems we have, we know we could get through it. And the child should not be blame about what we are experiencing now. However, there are some who do not want their own child. Maybe because they are not prepared about it. Or they have been abused by someone else. At this kind of situation, it should be kept in mind that every child has the right to live.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
it's great reading your response. I really like the sentence "...we know we could get through together"..ya, I do have belief like it too. just for your information, I married my husband when he was still unemployment. actually we didn't want to get married that soon, we did it so cos our parents pushed us to do so. and I was pregnant when our marriage lasted for two months. you can imagine how confused we were at that time. but I believed, in the name of my God, that we could got through all of the obstacles together by the help of the God. today, my baby has been 4 years old. she is beautiful, healthy and adorable..:)
@salonga (27957)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
A Child is a Gift from God - Adorable child
Babies are heritage from God. If you have children then you are surely blessed. Not all couples do have kids so if you happen to have kids then you should really be thankful. Kids brighten up the home. They are lovely creatures and they really are adorable. I will not mind spending my time taking care of my baby because motherhood is actually the best thing that can happen to a woman.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
I do agree with your saying. frankly speaking, first time I knew that I was pregnant, I was little confused and didn't know what to do. I was not a baby lover and I didn't know at all how to take care of baby. but my husband kept supporting me. and now, I feel so blessed God gave me a baby 4 years ago.. so what do think about woman who decides not to have baby during her life? what is the big reason of this decision?
@msrema (36)
20 Sep 11
A family without children I cannot just think. Babies are so cute and they give us inspiration to live better in future. Having children is a nice and important decision for every married couple. Without them the beautiful earth will become fade.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
I have same idea with you, Msrema..I think what makes the world brighter is children..the house which is empty and gloomy will be directly cheered by the birth of a baby. then the house will be crowded, full of baby crying everyday. it sounds do 'alive'..though I respect to people's decision not to have a baby but I still wonder whether they don't want to feel the happiness brought by the birth of baby?
@dheckerz (473)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
Having a baby is such a serious consideration to make. You have to be very careful in planning your life. Having a baby is such a blessing, but it is less desired when you are on the verge of your career, having a sickness or serious problems. Although this can be an answer to your problems, you have to make special considerations when deciding to have one. Baby needs time,financial support, love,attention and care.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
sure you're right about all of those. my religion taught the followers not to have children before married. I think this has two advantages: first, by marriage, couple could be ready to plan their further life whether they want to have baby soon or delayed for a while. we can also make planning about the financial in facing newborn baby. you can imagine if you have baby before getting married a.k.a you have baby because of unwanted pregnancy. it must be terrible, rite? secondly, by marriage, baby will get obvious status, who is his/her mother, father, and all family relatives. marriage saves us from incest may happened in the future. so before deciding to have or not to have baby, it's better to get married first..
@aprilsong (1886)
• China
20 Sep 11
Hi,I think having a baby is wonderful thing in one's life. That is the reason why so many people try every means to get a baby. To have a baby to take your family lines pass on, is not only important for one's own family, but also important for the whole society, because the whole society consists of hundreds of millions of families. There are lots of people choose to not have a baby, it is common, just like some people choose to have too many kids. They may choose not have a baby because the economic conditions or physical conditions, or they have not prepared enough in their minds, or they have not found their important another parts. I do think to have a baby without enough preparation is good, because you can't make sure to provide what a baby needs. But for those who choose not have a baby just because they feel a crying baby can interrupt their happiness, and they don't want to take any responsibility, i feel very disappointed, if they can't take responsibilities of taking care of their own kids, how can we trust they can take any responsibility for the society.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
what about yourself, April..which one do you want to belong: having baby or not having baby? or maybe you have already had a baby today? yeah, you're right about reasons why people decided to or not to have a baby. there are so many types of people around the world, this couple really want a baby but in the other side of world there's a couple who decided to do abortion cos they think they are not ready yet to be parents. the world is so dynamic with people's attitude and desires..
19 Sep 11
Babaies are gifts from God. They can take away sorrows and provide goals or perseverance to a person who loves them. Baby gives reason to live and value to ones life. But sometimes also gives depression especialy to a parent who is financially on distress. Depressions because of the willingness of the parent to give his/her child a good health/food, home and provide other needs. But your baby is a part of you which became alive and give you fullfilment. Sometimes you can consider your baby your investments... The interest is her/his good health, aliveness, smiling face and responsiveness while talking to him/her.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
19 Sep 11
moreover, children would take care of their parents when their parents go older. sometimes it's not always good living in a nursing home when we go old but living surrounded by our own children will make us safer and more comfortable. so we can imagine for a couple who don't have baby till they're old, with whom they will spend rest of their life? maybe they will pay someone to take care of them but I'm sure that somebody else couldn't treat parents as well as children do. so i feel so blessed when having a baby..:)
@GemmaR (8526)
19 Sep 11
I think that the love that you have for your own children cannot be compared to any other kind of love that you might feel during the course of your life. You have to remember that nothing is ever going to be easy if it's worth having, and it's no secret that being a Mother is one of the hardest and most stressful jobs that you can ever have. And, you don't even get paid for doing it! I think that if you want to have a baby then you should, but people need to be aware of the fact that it is a lot harder than a lot of people seem to think that it is going to be.
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
19 Sep 11
life is a cycle..we were born so we will bear a baby. it's a kind of natural process. one lesson I got when I raise my baby: I respect my parents (especially my mother) more than before. by having pregnant, delivering and now raising a baby, I could know how hard to be a mother is! sometimes I treat my mother bad but now I realize how hard she delivered me and raised me. having baby is such a great life lesson for me. I thank to God for giving the chance of being a mother. it's awesome..:)
@emine08 (1531)
• Indonesia
19 Sep 11
i think to have a baby is a gift from God. God chooses who will get this gift. so be happy if we are one of the person who is choosed by God to accept His gift. so it is up to you adhyz? yes of course i cannot deny if i have some difficulties caring the babies but if i see their innocennence faces, it is gone. do not be afraid just face it. you will get happiness and proud in your life by having a baby. good luck.....
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
19 Sep 11
I agree with you, Emine..I have a four years old daughter. ya, it's really hard raising a baby cos we want the best for them and it doesn't run easily. they are so naughty and very annoying sometimes, but they bring joy and happiness more than the messy they cause. maybe I am so busy raising a baby, but I never regret having her..
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
19 Sep 11
hai humairaku... it`s good discussion i think even iam unmarried and had no baby as our cultural, had a baby is great things and best gift in my marriage..so i did not delay to be a parents if i can do it
@humairaku (2039)
• Indonesia
19 Sep 11
hi, Adhyz..it's good for you if you have that opinion cos not all men having that spirit.. I ever read a true story about the reluctance of having baby. they said that having baby just make them busy and lose their fun time. I myself have a friend who delayed having baby for about five years cos her husband doesn't want to have a baby! I think it's a ridiculous thought cos having baby will make you learn how a real life is. you should responsible for something important throughout your life. and it's amazing, I think. but what can I say, every person has their own opinion rite? BTW, why don't you get married soon? LOL
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
Oh each people are different goals in life..And that is their want and decision to make... To what you said,some people said to have kids because it is happy,enjoyable life..Some do not want to have because noisy,and etc..Well,can't control their want... For me , i want to have kids ,but not early to have kids because i know it is hard at first ,and also i have to plan for it... Because if having child , am sure you will face any kind of experience...