would you cheat?

@ariyanti (205)
Indonesia
September 19, 2011 6:39pm CST
When you do not get affection from your husband, and you can not get divorced, would you cheat? No doubt, sometimes women want to be hugged, and pampered. But could not get it all, from her husband.
4 people like this
13 responses
• United States
19 Sep 11
I understand that there are cultures that do not allow divorce, mine is not one of them. No I would not cheat, I would not want to be cheated on, so I can't think of why I would cheat. If divorce was not an option, I would have to figure out how to leave him, run away, something. See for me to cheat, I would have to live with me and that me would not be too happy and or be able to live with myself.
@ariyanti (205)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
In fact, divorce is allowed. But, for the people around my place, divorce is something very shameful, and the widow is often underestimated.
3 people like this
• United States
20 Sep 11
But a widow is someone who's spouse passed away, so not sure if you meant something else. Divorce is allowed in my country and it is not a shameful situation. If wanting companionship and or intimacy is the only problem, I am not sure how cheating is going to make things better between a husband and a wife. I would exhaust all forms of actions with the husband to see if things can change, if not I am not sure what you can do, if this is your situation. Guilt kicks in and or feelings for someone else can develop, so not sure how this will better the marriage.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Oct 11
It use to be this way in my country and in fact some elders might still frown on divorcees, but it is more understandable now in this of age. I think because there are so many circumstances that cause for divorce. It is no longer looked at as if the man and or woman was at fault but more so depending on the circumstances. I am sad that in your country it is seen this way, as sometimes no matter how much the wife tries the husband is not cooperative.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130088)
• India
20 Sep 11
There is more to life than craving for love that does not exist and cheating will make it worse. My advice for anyone who is in that state would be to divert attention to something more meaningful an activity that engages one in a joyful and fruitful way. Do you have pets at home. They can play a big role.
1 person likes this
@ariyanti (205)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
At the time being alone, any positive activity, sometimes no effect. I also do not like pets. During this time, I was often scolded by my husband, because my husband's pet.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130088)
• India
20 Sep 11
There are countless activities that can keep one happily occupied. You surely must be having hobbies that could keep you on your toes. In today's world ariyanti Internet has opened up vistas particularly meant for those who are alone. Try some of those and I am sure you will not miss that love that actually does not exist.
1 person likes this
@ariyanti (205)
• Indonesia
23 Sep 11
Prev. I did as you suggested. But I am a man, who also missed the warmth of love.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
20 Sep 11
I've had trouble with this recently. My husband has slipped into a very stressed depression and he wasn't giving me any attention. He didn't seem to want anything to do with me. I'd lay on the bed in new stuff and he'd lay down beside me and watch tv. I screwed up and talked to another guy. I wasn't really interested in the guy, just the playful talk felt nice. I didn't do anything physically though. What I did was bad but I don't know if it was exactly cheating. I feel bad for what I did but not matter what I tried he didn't seem to want and I was so lonely.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Oct 11
ravin talk to your husband for goodness sakes, maybe he does not reaqlize how cold he seems to you, communicate as you need him. if he does not c ome around, suggesgt divorce and this may shock him into being the husband he once was I take it. if this goes on and on you must do something,. a trial separation perhaps or a marriage counselor perhaps.tell him you need love too and are getting depressed also
@ariyanti (205)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
Cheating is always bad. But, sometimes lonely conquers all.
2 people like this
@ifandri82 (144)
• Indonesia
2 Oct 11
You have the intention to cheat? Is cheating, you will be happy? Do you believe, you will not regret it?
1 person likes this
@marge08 (17)
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
if a wife did not get the affection and love she needs or if the husband does not reciprocate the affection the wife is giving, i dont see it as a passport to cheat. Many times we lose focus when we dont get the attention that we want and then wives began to seek it from other man whom they think can give them something they are looking for. But in the end...it is still not the best solution. I guess the better option is Pray, and give your petition to God. Let Him be the center of your life. Focus your eyes to God and have an open communication with your husband and discuss things out. We wives should remember, our husbands are also human beings. They cannot always guess what is in our minds. If we begin talking and voicing out our feelings, then they have better view and better idea how you want them to reciprocate. Man are known to be not so expressive of their feelings. Sometimes they thought they have already given the attention and affection we want. So if we voice out, they will be informed they need to do extra effort...:)
1 person likes this
@cintara (137)
23 Oct 11
Do not do something, that will make you regret it. Think first, before doing anything. A lot of positive things, which you can do, and beneficial to you. From on, you do something, that will hurt you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Feb 12
I agree with you.
@soulist (2985)
• United States
24 Jan 12
I cannot imagine cheating for any reason. I would try to talk to him about it and tell him how I feel, that I need hugged and held sometimes. There are times when my boyfriend doesn't know that I need hugged, so I tell him..."I need a squeeze" then he hugs me a squeezes me tight making me feel like he doesn't want to let go. If he refuses to listen as I talk, i would suggest counseling. There are ways to solve the problem, cheating isn't one of them.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Oct 11
hi ariyanti I see you are from Indonesia and I take divorce is frowned on but why? if your husband is not being all he should be you have a right to be loved by him and if he is not doing that, yes leave him and get a divorce. its time your rules were changed a bit as leaving a mate who is only hurting you is the proper thing to do. I am In the US so its hard for me to fathom why divorce should be making you ashamed as its your husband who should be ashamed of not giving you the affection and love you need.cheating here is what is looked on as shameful. do not cheat. divorce him and find a man who will love you as much as you love him. Hope things work out for you as you sound like you are in emotional pain. hugs from hatley.
@dodo19 (47034)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Sep 11
I do know that some cultures don't allow divorce or anything like that, which I can understand. However, I live in a culture which does allow divorce. Personally, I just don't think that I could bring myself to cheat. I don't know if I'd feel comfortable doing this sort of thing.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
I understand how you feel. I also understand, us ordinary mortals, who can not always resist temptation. I hope you do not make mistakes. Think clearly, and does nothing, that will make you regret it.
1 person likes this
@sql_cell (1427)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
If you feel lonely, and wanted to get the love, and you do not medapatkannya from your husband, you better get closer to God. Affair, not necessarily make you get, what you do not get from your husband. You will become a poor woman, if you do cheat. Remember there is a God, who will always love you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Sep 11
every person give love and need love in return...we all know that it is immorality when you know that you are already committed but still your playing flames with the other guy but on the other hand we cannot blame them for what they have done because they are only human and they need love and affection that their husband supposed to gave it to them...
@paisible (20)
24 Jan 12
hello , i am fully against the idea of cheating , it is like syealing something without right reasons . It is forbiden by all religions and its sins are known . Adultery for married women can have very bad results more than single ones . So , i pefer to get divorced by whatever measures and look for someone else .