What would you do

@indahfth (11173)
Indonesia
September 20, 2011 10:46am CST
What would you do if your family, and family of your husband, make a different event, at the same time. You can not come up in both places at once. Your family really hope you come. Your husband's family, also very much hope, your arrival. What would you choose, your family attend? Or you come to the event of your husband's family?
5 people like this
51 responses
• United States
20 Sep 11
I have had multiple parties on the same day and sometimes what I have done is divide my time equally between the two. Reason I feel they cannot be upset that I cannot stay longer is that they are the ones who planned the date and I am only one person. If I cannot attend both of them, then I would explain to the one who scheduled it second that I need to attend the first one. If it is going to be a big fight and or argument, then I might just not attend either of them so they both do not get upset.
2 people like this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
I must choose to come to one of the family. And I hope, they are not disappointed, and understand my situation, because I can not come.
@huilichan8 (1379)
• Singapore
20 Sep 11
I would tell either of them that I might be late as I have to attend to another event first. Maybe you could try doing that?
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
I can not do that. Because my family residences, and my husband's family residence, far enough.
• Singapore
21 Sep 11
I see...or can your family change the time or the day of the event? If not, maybe you could try explaining to your family that you hv to attend another event? Since it's your own family, maybe they will be understanding and not hold it against you?
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
My family can not change the time of the event. Because, all have been prepared. I, apologize to my family, because I have to attend the event at my husband's family.
@Rosa26 (2620)
• United States
20 Sep 11
Depending on the location I would go to both of them, some minutes to one and some minutes to the other.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
My husband's family residence, and where my family lives, far apart. So, I can only come, in one family.
@Rosa26 (2620)
• United States
21 Sep 11
In that case I would go to the one that invited me first and I would the next day with the other to make both feel good.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
I also want, everything feels good. I hope I do not disappoint my family, because I chose to attend the event from my husband's family.
@Olleenz (3400)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
As long as I remember you had big problem with your husband and your family husband can't help you, right? I think this the time you must take position. If problem with your husband is already solved, I think you should listen your husband want to go. I told you this because in Indonesia, husband still have high position in family tree. But if your problem with your husband not cleared yet, I think you should go to who support you more (which one: your family or your husband family).
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
Despite my problems with my husband has not been completed. I still choose to attend the event from my husband's family. As you say, in Indonesia, husband has a high position. Moreover, I am a Javanese, must place husband compared my own family.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
1 Nov 11
Actually, I would like to express my opinion to my husband, because during this time, I always follow my husband's wishes. But, because it is as a wife, must be obeyed, then I am sincere.
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
7 Aug 12
hi, if that happen to me,i think i will choose to attend to the family of husband,because i know my family will understand me,and aside from that i can still make bonding with them, even there's no event.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Aug 12
Yes. I also prefer to come to my husband's family. I indeed must put my husband's family, than my family. Because, I was a daughter, and must follow the husband after marriage.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
For me just follow what your heart said so that no things would be made offset in you.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
Actually, my conscience, I would like to attend the event from my family. But, I chose to attend the event from my husband's family.
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
hi, Indah, I think you can come to both place.I believe that by compromise with your husband you can get best way out.it's just matter of time.you can come to both event even you both can attent for the whole time.spend time to your husband first then leave for your family event.it's fair, right? when you're once in family, your family and his family is should same, right? so discuss this with your husband. I hope you both can manage this event invitation together and make nobody's dissapointed
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
I can not come up in both events. Because, the place apart. I had to choose one. And, I chose to come to the event created by my husband's family.
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
Are they both far from each other? Well if not then choose to go to the nearest destination and attend the said event, and when you think you can still catch up with the other family's event then go there also. It just depends on you on how you can solve the problem by depending on the location, the type of occasion and you availability to reach or attend the occasion if there is still more time. Limit your time to attend one event and go to another one (this is if the other place is really reachable).
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
Venue, very far apart, so I had to choose one.
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
20 Sep 11
Ohhh friend very complicated position both the parties are important if possible I will attend both the parties otherwise I will attend only my husband's family function because I know my mothers family can understand after marriage husbands family is important and I know she will told me okkk child no problem you should attend first your program
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
My family also will be easier to understand me. Because, I am a daughter, and after marriage, must follow the husband.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
20 Sep 11
I guess it would depend partially on what type of event it is. If one is a birthday party for an older relative and the other just a picnic then I'd pick the brithday party. If they both seem to be of the same importance then I'd try to spend time at both if possible. If that wasn't possible then I'd go with the one that I was invited to first.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
21 Sep 11
Both events are important. And I still have to choose one.
@rose1717 (190)
• United States
20 Sep 11
I have had this happen before, I would tell my mom and ask if we could please have it a little earlier or a little later that day so I could be to both. If she couldn't change the time, then I would go to who ever asked first and the other family's for dessert.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
Whatever I would say, I very much hope, does not make them disappointed.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
hi indahfth, id say, go to wherever you have said yes first. if it happened to be your family, then explain to husband. if you want to stay with your husband and his parents, then explain to your family. i know the latter will be very understanding. have a nice day. ann
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
I can not afford to disappoint them all. I hope they would understand my explanation.
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
20 Sep 11
Tell both families there is a problem because you (and your husband) like to be at both events but that is not possible if it's at the same date/time. If they can't change it the only option is: you go to one family, your husband to the other or: go together first to 1 event and later on to the other.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
I also intend to come to one event, and my husband came to another event. But, they all wish I could come. Coming to the event in turn, is also not possible. Because, where my family lived, and my husband's family apart.
@GemmaR (8526)
20 Sep 11
The most simple thing that I will do in such a situation is attend whichever event was organised first. I feel that this is almost certainly the safest way to do things simply because of the fact that I had obviously already said to the first person that I would be available to do what they had asked me to do. Obviously there would be different situations if the second person asked me to attend something very important such as a wedding, but you just have to use your own discretion and think about those things as and when they become a problem.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
20 Sep 11
I want to come to a place, a family who invited me first. But, I am not able to resist, who asked me to come.
@minnie15 (146)
• United States
21 Sep 11
That happened to me and my husband. My neice on my side of the family and my nephew on my husbands side of the family graduated at the same time from high school at two different schools. I attended my neices and my husband attended my nephews. That way we had family represented at both events. Of course we were sad that we didn't get to attend both of them together....but that is why we have pictures. Good luck.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep 11
It all depends. Are they both once in a lifetime events? do I get alone with my hubby's family better than my own? It all depends. Me? I would tell both families what is happening and find a way to see both. Say one is a wedding,another a party. I would go to the wedding and meet up with the host of the party later.Somehow , with the help of the families , I would make an appearance at both.
1 person likes this
@nitin_hec (1098)
• India
21 Sep 11
I think better option to go in event of Husband's family as you have to your whole life with your husband but If your husband care about your feeling surely he would opt for your family's event.
1 person likes this
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
hi there in. yes it would be hard to choose since both parties have been wanting you to come. well, i have experienced that. everyone could experience that and as for me based on my experience i responded to it differently one time i did not attend to both parties because it happened that it occurred at the same time. one time also i based it on the first person who invited me. and there was also one time that i went to the other party then i went to the next party because it occurred on different time but it was on the same day. so those are just some options for you to choose friend. i hope you can decide now.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (79716)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
If and whenever this two events happens at the same time and date, then most probably, i would choose to go to my family event first , then after some eating and some chitchats go to the other event. But of course prior to that i would have informed both family about the circumstances , so they will understand why i have to leave early on the first one and arrive late on the second one. Should you have a participation in the event's program, then you should choose it first to attend and the other one later.
1 person likes this
• India
21 Sep 11
I am not married,but if i have a situation like that i will try to divide the time,if their is any possibility to spend in both house,one after other.if i can't.i will think how loves me a lot,either mother side or husband family.if my mother family loves me a lot,i don't attend their. Or if my husband family loves me a lot,i don't attend their.because who loves us more they understands us.they can think why they did't came here. Or i wil try to gather both the families together at one place,and i will spend the time more happily and keep them happily
1 person likes this