To improve self esteem

@katie0 (5212)
Japan
September 25, 2011 2:18am CST
I think one of the good ways to improve not only self esteem but many things is self suggestion, if we have that healthy dialogue with our selves much can change as we are so full of pain and traumas, and if we say things that we want to believe in we might clean up the mess that sometimes it begun since childhood.
2 people like this
7 responses
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
25 Sep 11
I call it 'self talk' and totally agree with you. You can talk yourself in and out of things. To beyour own best friend is something we all deserve for ourselves
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
26 Jan 12
I would love to hear more how you do self talk. Yes, we need to be our best friend as much as our own number one fan for the world will treat us the way we do ourselves.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
26 Jan 12
katie0 ..I agree with all the suggestions you listed in the OP. I find self talk very useful when we have regrets of the past and criticize ourselves for mistakes. While I believe it is important to acknowledge and take responsibility for past mistakes, I have seen many continue to 'beat themselves up' through saying how dumb, stupid they were. That does nothing to move forward. Often a different point of view is needed. One I use is it was all an experinece..a learning experience. Or under the circumstances we did the best we knew how, now we know better.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
26 Jan 12
About beating ourselves, I think everyone done this one time or another but I grow up saying the worst things to myself and believe me in the voice of the person that used to say those things in real life. This person was gone from my life and I thought: "Why do I still talk to me like this?" All we have to do is to wake up. It is important to watch how do we think and act. It took a long year, everytime I was beating myself I would start with :"Wait, I'm not that." and then change it to tell me what exactly I was and how I had the right to make mistake. Later it was only that I had the right to make mistakes and it took only a year, it seemed long while working on my self but now I'm glad I was persistent. Can you believe I NEVER beat myself because of a mistake anymore? It was subconscient, now I actually laugh about it. I continue to do mistakes yes, forget things, but I find it so normal. I wish people know more about how the mind works cause we can program it and we don't need to suffer so many things that we do for believing in the wrong things, repeating old bad patterns. Let's always continue our inner search!
@KrauseHome (35522)
• United States
20 Mar 12
Some great thoughts here. Self suggestion, and being able to talk to ourselves offering suggestions that can help and complimenting ourselves even when others might not, is a Great way to improve your self esteem. In such a dreary hateful world these days to have good Self Esteem no matter what others might feel about you is a Good one for sure.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
21 Mar 12
Totally! It's so easy to say bad things to our own, scientists says we already heard millions of "NO" when we reach the age of 5, that's just a preview of what that already done to our selfesteem. Now as a grown person we have the option to erase it all and record from the start whatever we want our subconscience to believe, not that it's easy...but it's possible I remember it took a year to only stop calling myself names with the voice of my mother
@sanofer (525)
• India
19 Mar 12
what you said is really correct. self esteem is with us and we should not bend on others to improve our self esteem. we should take our own decision. we should encourage us. we should make us happy. we should not think others will help us so that we can come up. that is not a self esteem and we should stand on our own leg and we should speak to ourself in each and every occasion to improve our self esteem
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
21 Mar 12
That's great, thanks. "stand on our own leg" can preatty much put in words the spirit of selfesteem.
• Mexico
26 Sep 11
Hi katie: I agree with you. In fact I am a person who dialogue with myself regularly to find peace and try to understand why I feel in some way. Talk to ourselves helps us to understand why do things and help improve our self perception as you have mentioned. ALVARO
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
26 Jan 12
That's great. There's other method to find inner peace wich is meditation, it is really good and we must empty our thoughts (the more we practice the better) and concentrate on the breathing as well. It is really good. They say we get the energy that we couldn't receive other wise.
25 Sep 11
in my point of view self esteem is entirely depends on the school days activities. students should be encouraged to take part in variety of competitions like speech and science competitions. they should be encouraged to participate in lot of games like volley ball and basket ball.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
26 Jan 12
That's intersting, so you think that the sense of competition can make selfesteem improve? It took me to something common that happens with celebrities for example, being a model or actor can be so competitive, yet many children actors who had problems at home seemed to loose selfesteem instead of improving. I'd like to hear more about how competition can improve.
@yskaps (233)
• India
25 Sep 11
1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change. 2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow. 3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference. 4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career. 5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.) 6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person. 7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation. 8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice... 9. Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring. 10. Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
26 Jan 12
Thank you. That was also a guide to be a social person I guess, it shows a lot how to interact with people. I read as that. To look straight in the eye and to show interaction such as body language can really show people what we are saying, I like when people show it all in voice, eyes, body, maybe it's time to improve that as well or see if I have been showing. Thanks again.
@Mavic123456 (12767)
• Thailand
9 Feb 13
wow.. such an interesting theory on self esteem.. so with the other responses in this discussion... glad to know this one. thanks.