Met my husband's family.

@indahfth (11173)
Indonesia
September 25, 2011 5:20am CST
Yesterday, I attended, my husband's family event. All my husband's family all came. And I also met, with one of my husband's family, who apparently does not like me. When I first met him, I shook hands with him. At that time, my hand is a bit rough. After shaking hands, she talked to other people, that I am a woman who can not care for themselves. And yesterday, I met again, we shook hands again. And he spoke again to someone else, my hand is very smooth, definitely lazy to work. In my heart I said, this guy is very confusing. During the meeting, he always insults me. I did not respond, and only silence. Do you think my silence is true.
3 people like this
27 responses
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Sep 11
If someone is annoyed with you and he is saying bad things, if at that moment you question why he is saying such things, it is like pouring oil on a fire. It is best to ignore him. He will stop when he doesn't see any reactions from you.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 11
I did not react anything. I'm just quiet. But he still did not stop.
@zearah (5289)
• Philippines
25 Sep 11
@Miss zandi glad to see you here! @indafth I salute your patience, we people are here in this world for a test, for those who can pass will be in heaven and I have fear your husband's family (that particular man) obviously do not want to pass the exam hehhe.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
1 Dec 11
I hope, I was always given the patience, to face the tests given to me.
@parjono (39)
• Indonesia
9 Oct 11
What do you do, it's very true. Serving those who like it, will only make you tired, and bring no benefits.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
9 Oct 11
Yes. I have the same thoughts with you. No benefits can I get, if I serve people like that.
• Indonesia
24 Nov 11
You're right lily, that's what I mean. Who is bad, will manifest itself. Serving people like that, just be a bad thing. No good effect that we can, just a bad effect. Silent, and ignore people like that, is the appropriate action.
• United States
25 Sep 11
Sometimes it is best to be silent when it comes to family members like this. Simply saying that in order to keep the peace and not interrupt a family gathering. If I had a situation where a family member was like this one, I would be silent at the moment as I don't want to cause a fight and or scene in the party. But if someday we meet again in private I would let the family member know that they are doing an injustice with me. It is not in my nature to fight and or argue with people, especially family so I understand why you kept silence. Words are merely ignorance and although they can make me feel bad I don't allow words to change my character.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
25 Sep 11
I also do not like fighting. So I just shut up, and did not react to anything. I just heard what he said.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
25 Sep 11
hello indahfth, i would avoid people who makes me sad and angry. in my thoughts, who cares about him? i will not die even if i dont meet him/her i would not care if he/she calls me a snob because i will always shook hands with other people who knows how to smile. ann
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
2 Dec 11
I'm not going to avoid, but I will still show politeness and respect, should be with the family.
@zearah (5289)
• Philippines
25 Sep 11
Obviously that particular man is not a gentleman but he is still you husband's relative or family so just let his hard heart to melt by your good deeds and do not let him to change you by thinking bad or what you had done is absolutely right because time will come he will see and get what he deserves to.
1 person likes this
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
25 Sep 11
don.t worry are sweat if his family like you are not god love you no matter what your hands are like.remember a person that insults others make themself look small.hold your head up you are blessed.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
25 Sep 11
keep that, silence is gold. only some reasons you can talk to defend yourself. nice wife, always take care his husband heart. it's you.
1 person likes this
@mantis36 (4237)
• Philippines
25 Sep 11
It is better to be a rough hands and let them murmur, just let it passed to your other ear.... it is like a story of a Father, a Boy, and a Donkey: If there is not riding on a donkey while walking in the streets, the people murmur that "What is the use of the donkey if no riding on it?" therefore, that father took his boy to ride on donkey... and the people murmur again, that boy is a lazy boy because he let his father walk while the boy is sitting on a donkey.... so the father bring his boy down walking on the ground while that father rides on that donkey... so the by-standers again murmur "What a st2pid kind of father he is, for letting his boy walk while he (as a father) rides on his donkey" so the father took his boy and two of them now ride the donkey... then the people again murmur... poor little donkey... the boy and the father rides on a poor donkey... so the father and his boy get down to the ground and that father look for bamboo pole and tied donkeys feet to both sides of the bamboo pole (like a barbecue) while carry by his father on the front pole and for the boy to carry on the other end of the bamboo pole.... the people witness are all rolling on the floor laughing out loud.... when they passed on the bridge, the rope that tied on one of the feet of donkey untied and loosen and the donkey began to kicking and the donkey feel on the river while the current are very strong.... they lost their donkey.... so the moral lesson is that each of us have our own world that we follow, and don't listen to their murmur, anyway, no matter how strong the current of the tide and wind, we are the captain of our soul and we are the master of our own self.
1 person likes this
@ulong24 (24)
• Pakanbaru, Indonesia
3 Oct 11
I think your attitude is silent on the treatment your husband's family was very precise, like the proverbial silence does not mean defeat.let others say that is not good to you and be yourself, to what we change just to please others while we suffer because of changes imposed. stick with you a calm attitude in order to maintain a relationship with your husband and your husband would discuss with his family with a good attitude
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
3 Oct 11
Until now, I remained silent, and did not discuss with my husband or family. Incident, had a few days ago, and what happened yesterday, I assume it never happened.
• Pakanbaru, Indonesia
9 Oct 11
stay at your establishment for the sake of family unity which is your loved one
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
27 Sep 11
people said that silence is gold.. but maybe if you talk and tell him that you are not like he said maybe that it could be a diamond. however we need to make things clear and tell them what we really are so they can understand us not just spoiling
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
27 Sep 11
Whatever others say I do not care, which is important, I do not hurt others.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
24 Oct 11
Hi Lily and Indah, I am not gonna quite if someone talk negative things about me. if i know i will try to explain why i do those things so people can understand why i do that. every person have his own way to solve or face the problem, so if my way is looked in the negative way , i hope they can understand that is just me. if i had explained and they still talk negatively then i leave it
@sasalove (1710)
• China
26 Sep 11
I am not sure what you mean. Does it matter about one’s hand relative to his or her personality? Once the moment that you married, you are one of his family members. Why do you have such rite to have your hands while you meet?
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 11
Has become a habit, every meet people, we shake hands each other.
@sasalove (1710)
• China
27 Sep 11
Here, we only shake hands in the formal occasion. That is why I am curious about that.
@cintara (137)
19 Oct 11
You do not reply ugliness with ugliness as well. I know, you are very angry. But, with angry, would not solve the problem. Remain friendly, which is important, you are doing something right.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 11
Yes you are right. Your feedback is really good.
@adhyz82 (36263)
• Indonesia
27 Sep 11
hello indah..i confuse who does your mean, she or he?? man or woman?? don`t hear what anybody else comments..sometimes we need for hearing but sometimes we don`t need their comments.. if you feel you are right, and you feel OK, so go on
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
27 Sep 11
adhy, to some people hearing a negative comments is really annoying and hurting too. if there is something that i can do if i am in that situation i will tell him openly, why is he doing that and in what purpose. and claimed that he is not better than me if he do that like gossiping a weakness of someone
@Rosa26 (2620)
• United States
26 Sep 11
Don't worry it means she envy you, why? I don't know but I am sure that she sees something very special on you, something that she really would to have. "You have enemies? Good. That means you have stood for something, sometime in your life".Winston Churchill.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
27 Sep 11
Yes. Maybe. But, there is not anything special that I have.
• Philippines
26 Sep 11
If that happens to me, I'll confront him and tell everything to mu husband. He doesn't has the right to insult me and back fight me. He should give me the respect so I should respect him also. The next time you saw him, pretend that you don't seem to be around and leave.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 11
If I met him again, I will be reasonable, like my attitude, to my husband's family
• Indonesia
26 Sep 11
Well, that kind of person do not deserve your attention. Ignore him and by that you'll show him and everybody else that his opinion doesn't matter. He sounds like a pervert, why would he talk about your skin to anybody else? You are somebody else's wife, for God sake! However, if you are being insulted, fight back. You don't deserve to be insulted, and he has absolutely no right to insult you. Does he pay your bills? If he doesn't, then tell him it's better to keep his mouth shut.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
26 Sep 11
I do not want to fight. I do not want any fights. I let him, insult me. People will judge, what kind of person I am, and what kind of person he is.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
26 Sep 11
What else could you do. Best to just avoid him.
• United States
26 Sep 11
Indahfth, I'm not sure why you put up with being abused the way you do. I've followed a lot of your posts... believe me, if your hands were rough the person would have said some other disparaging remark. I think I would have stood in front of him and said, "Excuse me!?" Let him say that to my face... he probably would cower away then.
26 Sep 11
O..dear.. I understand how difficult is it for your every time to communicate with husband's family.But I am agree with some opinion that we come here to be teached and teach others too. It is so difficult to give you any advice, because we do not know enough to do it regarding this situation. But sometime we must be silint, but some time not. As I see you culture does not allow women to have and say you opinions or... But if you love your husband I think you can try to speak with him about this situation and your fillings inside.And if your husband respect you he will tell their family, that if they do not like you it is ok, but they must respect you as his wife and women and do not allow to make gossip with others people about you! When the people do this it means that they do not respect themselves too! Do not worry, you must be love and kind women-wife!!! We are not a sweats for everyone!You husband must be in this situation who will be you bodyguard! Take care about yourself.
@celticeagle (119862)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Sep 11
If this guy is insulting you your husband should come to your aid. Maybe in your country that is okay but not here. If your hands are rough use lotion. That is pretty easy. Don't give a jerk material to use against you! I don't really think this person is much to worry about.