Why do people lie?

@eseulhan (199)
Philippines
September 30, 2011 4:42am CST
I just cant stand liars. no it isnt about anyone and its not about a grudge. I just cant understand why people feel the need to lie especially about small things. What makes a person lie? I really value the truth when so many people doesnt do so. :-(
2 people like this
9 responses
@AJsMom (157)
• Philippines
30 Sep 11
People lie for a variety of reasons. I think some wouldn't be able to face the consequence of telling the truth if it would mean disaster to a relationship. I believe there are times when we have to be discreet in telling the truth and lying has to be done should the need arises. Some people are just plain liars, I don't why. But as for me, I also wouldn't want to be lied to. I don't care if the truth hurts. But not all people are as open as we are.
• Philippines
30 Sep 11
I agree with AJsMom, people lie for different reasons, it may be to avoid worsening the situation, not just in a relationship (although, it's more often obvious in relationships). Even parents sometimes need to lie to their kids, especially when it comes to financial situation/ some problems. This is to avoid having the kids worry about something that they can't do about (or some kids might go steal from others if they know that their parents need it). Sometimes, authorities tell a lie to avoid panic in their community. So it is ok to tell a lie, as long as it's not always, and as long as your reason is valid, but make sure that in the end, once you're out of the situation, you have to come out clean. And the normal response to any lying is anger and hate and hurt. If you are the one who lied, accept that. If you are the one lied to, express your pain. Check out if the person is now telling the truth, and if you care then try to understand. But I would be a hypocrite if I say that I practice this often. I try to be open minded, but sometimes, when I got lied to, especially big time! I become deaf to their explanations.
@AJsMom (157)
• Philippines
30 Sep 11
Nice explanation LoliRuri23. You were able to express it the way I wanted it to. So it only shows that we just have to say what needs to be said and hold back what needs to be kept. Telling the truth is really a big deal and if you have the guts to do it then face the consequence of being hated. That is the price we have to pay for telling the truth, we may lose friends and dear ones. But I guess for someone to be truly honest, we have to wait for the right time when to spill the beans, and if the time isn't right we might as well "lie" yet.
@nezavisima (7417)
• Bulgaria
30 Sep 11
why people lie to everyone but some reason I never could explain it. but everyone is trying to hide something or protect someone. people really lie and everyone is trying to keep back and so is lying. perhaps one reason to lie to protect others to hide do not understand something about us something that bothers us. me too I had to lie. nice day!
@eseulhan (199)
• Philippines
30 Sep 11
so you mean to say that lies have its advantages and disadvantages right?
@waflay (2727)
• Nairobi, Kenya
30 Sep 11
Hi nezavisima, I think we have genuine reasons as to why people lie, as you said to protect or to evade danger or to access a certain place for specific purpose etc. But I have also seen people who just can't say a single truthful word, like sharing a house with someone who takes your things but when you ask him/her, the person cannot tell the truth- obvious things like that.
@didi13 (2927)
• Romania
4 Oct 11
Why lie some of us did and at what age we start, so the desire and the possibility to lie? What lies behind what makes us do when, in fact, know very well that ... lie has short legs? I asked this question many times when I met people who were lying - some decent, perhaps to save a situation with no repercussions for later, some naughty, openly revolting. I hate lying and I wonder why some feel tempted to use it. I believe that fears are behind it whose sole purpose is to limit, to throw us into a world of fear. One may fear rejection because what they have to hide out of some common patterns. Or maybe even more than I think lying is - some want to look rich, others poor, some filled with relationships or who knows what. And it seemed to lie or boast that they do not - which seems to me all a big lie. Will be acceptable in certain circles and resort to lie without blinking. Ultimately, fear is what gives us a certain direction, maintaining the balance between lie and truth. Fear of not being accepted, fear of being punished, fear of ... yourself as a last resort, because many times we lie to ourselves not to stifle the truth that we get our eyes and change lives. Perhaps, sometimes, in special cases absolutely, but only then, maybe it's better to tell a lie protective, soothing, to hide the painful truth. I hate lying and often feel when people lie to me. I know, lying and honesty are part of our lives, and experience generated by the two defense systems leads us to choose the way you want. What should we know is that we are able to change the image we have about us or that others have about us, no lie. Because, when we discover that we were lied to and suffer because of this, we ask ... why is it lying?
@yskaps (233)
• India
4 Oct 11
he prime reason for this may be, that they fear that their partner would leave them if they open up their secrets. People lie in relationships to keep the negative aspects of their personality hidden from their partners. Many people do not admit about their past relationships or an extra martial affair, as they do not want their partner to interfere in their daily activities. The reason people lie and cheat in relationships is because they have an inferiority complex and would not want their partners to know about it.Fear in the minds is responsible for making the people lie.
@waflay (2727)
• Nairobi, Kenya
30 Sep 11
Liars are always looking for a way to get away with what they don't deserve. Truth seems so far from many people, even if you find the culprit in the act, the person will just go a for a short cut- to lie. I have seen people who I think were born to lie that they can not avoid it. Its so wrong to and people should try to say truth no matter the situation
@Informer (803)
• India
30 Sep 11
Hi Friend, There are people who lie when they think something will make them feel ashamed, so they try to hide behind a lie but as i have noted there are people who have habit to lie. They feel happy and proud after lying about anything and making people fool.
• Bangladesh
30 Sep 11
from my view,there are few people who are used to speak lie.They feel happy to lie.Lieing is normal for them when they speak. In most of the time,people lie to cover their mistake or miss deeds.Actually they are afraid of telling lie.
30 Sep 11
For me some reason people lied not because they want to manipulate things. In some cases, a lie is spoken to ensure the well being of a person. Some situation you can't explain it not because your afraid. Its just you don't have time to explain the entire situation and convince him that what is being done is right. In many situation,, a lie can also help to control particular situation worsening. People called it White lies.
• Philippines
30 Sep 11
Every person has the freedom to choose whether to lie or not. There is something to lying that makes it palatable. There are also conditions that should be met for the lie not to be said. Liars tend to protect themselves from strange persons they meet that ask personal information that they think saying the real info will be taken advantaged by the stranger. I'm not sure about the rest of the liars but the purpose is likely the same.