ever heard of a "temporary" marriage?

@murkie (1105)
Philippines
October 1, 2011 7:14am CST
i've just seen on the news and some other blogs about mexico city considering an expiration date for a marriage. their reason is simple: to minimize the number of divorces, and probably with the problems that arise from it. pretty good reason. but what about the sanctity of marriage? is marriage becoming "contractual"? yes, there's a contract. but that one is forever. so, how can couples live with these in mind?
2 people like this
11 responses
@inu1711 (5288)
• Romania
1 Oct 11
I've heard about "one day marriages" but they were more like a joke for Valentine's Day. I never heard about an official "temporary" marriage. Personally I don't see why anybody would need this formality. Either they marry or they don't make this step at all. What could be the reason to create a new family with expiration date?
1 person likes this
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
funny how people would find a "remedy" to a problem. their reason to implement a temporary marriage is that they were alarmed of the escalating number of divorces. they think that when there is an expiration for a marriage contract, couples would avoid having a divorce later on but rather just wait for the contact to expire. now that you mentioned "family" with it, the issue sounds more disturbing.
1 person likes this
@inu1711 (5288)
• Romania
2 Oct 11
But the result is the same: either they divorce or they wait for the contract to expire, there will be another broken family. I still don't get the reason.
1 person likes this
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
2 Nov 12
In my country, it often happens that way. Many people refer to as contract marriage . Its very sad, they are willing to contract marriage, because of money. They can get the money, with a contract marriage. Moreover, if they contract marriage with men from abroad.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
If a couple cannot live the promise of being together for a lifetime, they should refrain themselves from getting married. I still believe the sanctity of marriage and everyone should understand that marriage is not just a toy that if you don't like it anymore, you'll just throw it away. A marriage can be bound forever if there's true love between the couple. This love is not merely a feeling, it's also a decision. In a Christian perspective, this "love" is God. A relationship centered by God will definitely last forever...
1 person likes this
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
4 Oct 11
unfortunately, most people do not share the same perspective as we have.
@eseulhan (199)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
what? really? i never heard of that before! wow! the world is really changing so much now. From marriage to divorce to temporary marriage? People really want to make their lives easier huh! Now wheres the sanctity there? In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer till the end of contract do we part? Funny! I cant believe people are becoming more crazy nowadays, sorry but im a roman catholic and i stand by the true meaning of marriage, the bond of two persons that make them one FOREVER. Well, for me, temporary marriage isnt the solution to divorce and annulment. One can never find his/her true love in that situation. Couples would not think anymore of loving each other and maintaining their relationship coz if one thing goes wrong then they could easily give it up. So sad one can never dream of a happily ever love story, I just choose to be a fairy tale character than living in a world we have today.
1 person likes this
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
very well said eseulhan. can't add much more.
@AKRao24 (17790)
• India
2 Oct 11
Till 1984 or 1985 we had the system of contact marriages in the state of Goa.Where people used to get married under a contract for a fixed period of time and then after the expiry of the period both the husband and wife used to get separated! This worked well in that state til it was topped in the year mentioned above! Now coming to the sanctity of the marriage, any marriage is an institution! There are lot many more responsibilities attached to it just from becoming physical partners! There as social ethics, social status etc attached to it! It takes pretty long to understand for a couple to understand each other to live happily! Thus ti have sanctity it requires lot of sacrifice from both the sides! But then in contractual marriages, we can't expect anything like this as both the people involved in this contract knows that they just need to act the role of the spouse till a certain period and then the curtain will fall to end the drama! I really don't approve such things and it looks fake to me! Thanks!
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
that's it: the sanctity of marriage. in contractual marriages (as you mentioned) couples would do the motions of being married together or not. they may even not live at the same house at all. what is important is that they signed a piece of paper stating that they are legally binded. i don't like this idea as well. but i hope these people knows what they're doing.
@rose1717 (190)
• United States
2 Oct 11
I'm probably going to be the exception here, but I think that it is a bad idea. Marriage is not meant to be disposable. Now days marriages don't last as it is, this is just incouraging this behavior. I think that maybe the governments need to make it harder to get married, this way they don't have to worry about divorsing being so high. If it is harder to get married, then people are not just going to jump into it. When my husband and I were getting married (we were high school sweethearts and graduated 2 months before our wedding), we had to go through pre-marriage counceling with our pastor. That was 14 years ago and we are still married and very much in love. I think we rushed things, but he was moving away out of state and I wanted to go with him. I am very old fashioned in the way that I didn't want to live together before we married. We were best friends before we married, and are still best friends.
1 person likes this
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
sweet story, rose.. i totally agree with you. if people see an option, they would do it even more. even divorce is bad in itself. instead of finding ways to settle their differences, couples would jump ship immediately and call it quits. that's the problem of having easy "remedies". anyway, i wish you the best with your "bestfriend".
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
1 Oct 11
I'm thinking maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea. There are so many pressures with marriage these days. It would take one less pressure off the marriage if you didn't have to worry about making someone happy for the rest of your life or them falling out of love with you. Say that when you get married it's a 5 year deal. If you know that at the end of 5 years your spouse could decide not to be married to you any more, you might be more likely to try hard in your marriage all the time. Then at the end of the 5 years you could choose to sign another 5 year contract. And to cut down on the divorce rate, make the 5 years mandatory. Then only people serious about being married will do it because they know they have to spend at least the next 5 years with someone.
1 person likes this
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
if you cannot get with your commitment issues, why get married in the first place? part of the challenges of marriage is to keep the passion alive. and this strengthens the relationship. if your problem is commitment, then that is yours to handle alone. don't take another person to carry the burden with you. and then there are other people that would be affected, too. i agree with stowyk on his comment. anyway, thanks for sharing your opinion. we have different views on an issue, but this helps us get some new ideas.
@edsss17 (4398)
• Philippines
1 Oct 11
Wow! Just heard about that. Even divorce is not "yet" allowed here in Philippines. The senate is still debating whether to approve divorce or not. This contractual marriage surprises me, BIGTIME!
1 person likes this
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
1 Oct 11
i, too, read about it just now. it's kinda amazing how people finds ways to remedy one problem. this time-limited marriage disregards all the qualities of a healthy relationship.
@Olleenz (3400)
• Indonesia
1 Oct 11
Even this forbidden in my country but in fact "contract marriages" are popular in several villages in my country. These usually happen between local girls and foreign people. The most reason why they do this for "Prosperity" reason (money).
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
yes, you are right about that. sad to think that in order to have something to eat, some people would allow themselves to be eaten.
@petersum (4526)
• United States
1 Oct 11
Under Greek law, the marriage certificate expires after six months. Most Greeks don't even know this. There is another document which is so rare that I don't know it's official name, but it is essentially an "I'm still married" certificate - which also expires after six months! Yes, 99% of Greeks are officially b@stards!
1 person likes this
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
1 Oct 11
this is one of the many reasons why i like mylot. a user gets to know different trivia in pretty unexpected ways. i never knew this about greeks (no, not the last statement), though i admit i really don't know much about these wonderful people. anyway, what is new for me may already be a circulating fact for others. thanks for the response!
@Asylum (48281)
• Manchester, England
4 Nov 12
I agree with you, a marriage is a life partnership. I know that there are many people who get divorced, but organising limited period marriages to avoid divorces is certainly not the answer. If people had enough sense to consider what marriage really is and only marry if they truly felt that they wanted to spend the rest of their life with that person, divorce would become much scarcer. Before they consider applying expiration dates they should bear in mind that many people have been married for 40 or 50 years, so how would they feel to be told that their marriage had expired. I know that I would have very complaints against such a suggestion.
@murkie (1105)
• Philippines
6 Nov 12
i think they do not get the real meaning of marriage. probably they only think it a s a formality or a ceremony. perhaps ifever there is an expiration but they still want to be with each other, the oupke could renew their contract or sign a new one.