What would you do in my place?
October 1, 2011 12:25pm CST
Okay, so I am a Spanish girl living in England, I came to learn English, my plan was, staying as au pair until I speak it fluent, then come back. But in May there was an earthquake in my city, and at the moment everything is a mess, so I don't think there's future for me there anymore. And plus I found a boyfriend in England that is a sweetie and I dont want to lose him. I was fine working as au pair, they have two kids, 9 and 11 years old, and they have always been nice to me. The problem is that, since two months ago, a brother of the kids (who is son of their dad from a past relationship) is living with us. He used to live with his mother, but then she kicked him because he is very naughty and disrespectful. He went to live with a couple of aunties who also kicked him because he stole from them, and then he came here as last chance. He has 17 years old and just started college. I have never done anything bad to him, but for some reason he hates me, he tells the kids to be naughty to me, backtalk and stuff like that. He drinks the alcohol and telle the parents it's me (funny when I don't drink and they know it). He stole 20 pounds from my purse, I noticed and they believed me because he stole money before. My duties are look after the kids, just that, I don't have to do housework as duties, but sometimes I hoover or unload the dishwasher as if I did in my own house, but I don't have to clean after anyone. He is leaving dirty plates and cups in the lounge just to say they are mine, I am not cleaning after him because he knows he has to tidy his own mess, but he still does it to say it was me. Today he left the cheese outside the fridge and I heard the mum of the kids telling him off, he said it was not him, it was me. I was in my room and I went downstairs and asked what is going on. The mum of the kids said "we were saying that somone left the cheese outside and that is lazy and the cheese gets dry" and I said it was not me, and she said ok I am not blaming you. But then I went upstairs and downstairs to leave a glass in the dishwasher and they were whispering and I heard the word "cheese". I went upstairs again very upset and feeling humilliated. Things like this have started happening when he came to this house, and I am fed up...
1 Oct 11
Thank you henkiprananda! You are very right, I have indeed another habilities, I have worked in a bakery, and I really loved it, maybe it's time to move on, my English is good enough now to be on my own, and I am sure there is a girl that needs to learn English out there that can take my place.
• Guwahati, India
1 Oct 11
Hi timeout, Very interesting issue indeed. You are by all means to suffer due to these kids. For me when things go beyond my control I would pull myself back. I would report the parents in writing and get it clear that unless they are serious about the behavior of their kids I would no longer be looking after them.
1 Oct 11
I think you should talk to their parents and tell them how you feel. Let the parents handle the naughty 17 years old son and the little children. It's their responsibility as parents to teach their children how to behave correctly. But if the parents can't handle them or ignoring your complaints, I suggest you to move out and find a nicer family to live with in England. It's no use to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of money. There will be a better life outside that house for such a nice person like you. Head's up and good luck.
1 Oct 11
Awww, thank you for your kind words! I talked with the mum some weeks ago, when he took the money from me. She said it is not his fault if he behaves like that, because he really never had a proper home. His parents divorced when he was very little, and his mum never cared about teaching him some values, so now he is a proper hooligan. I find it fine that she wants to show that she cares about him and show him the affection he never had, but I think she is totally wrong, you can tell a kid off when he is naughty, so he learns what is right and what is not, but he is almost an adult now, I think it's gonna be very hard now to correct his bad behaviour.
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
2 Oct 11
This would be what would be called being caught between a rock and a hard place...This family accepted and trusted you with their kids,and everything was fine...and now you have this wayward teen son around who's had upbringing issues and has been handed around the family for his attitude and behaviour..and now you're on the receiving end..It seems like he resents your status as part of the family and is trying to undermine you in some way..but based on what you say of what has gone before with him,They'd HAVE to be watching him and his actions..Having proven trustworthy to the family,I think it's going to take more than his word against yours to discredit you..They believed you about the Money he stole..but I do hope you have a lock on your room door and don't leave things around anymore where he could get them.. and How did he get at your purse? Could he get in your room at present? You don't drink,so that sounds like an own goal for him,trying to pin taking drink on you..I can't say where this might go..He doesn't have a good track record,and he's giving the Parents and you good reason to distrust him...the saying goes "Give him enough rope and He might hang himself"..the question is,Will You be able to tolerate this behaviour long enough for him to wear out his welcome and see him gone? Or will you reach breaking point and quit first? I don't see him settling down to join in with the Happy Family and at this stage become a friend to You..He seems manipulative.. Good Luck!