i must be cut from a different tree

@jazel_juan (15767)
Philippines
October 2, 2011 10:19pm CST
Family tree that is..or my gene evolved in some way. Like what i have discussed in a different post, i am furious at my dad right now. God he makes me that mad, i dont want to but i am. Anyways, i am internalizing that now and realized i am soooo different from them in so many ways..or as hubby says so. They are very proud people in a negative way. But what i hate is that they just cannot be proud of you for you who are you have to exert something..make an effort. Like how i see with the kids and my nephews. They like comparing which i hate the most! Just the other day dad and mom commented about my nephew is so intelligent because he is in a very good school ( ateneo) and i was like what the..and they are saying it infront of the kids! I was like he is intelligent because he is intelligent not because of what school he is and what are they trying to imply that mine aren't? because they are not in Ateneo? Dad even said that if only i could send my son to Ateneo it would be very good and that made me a lot furious and i told them, my son does not have to be in Ateneo just to excel, he will excel no matter where school he is into. He will become who he wants to be and not what you guys want to be. I dont like my kids to be directed like some actor, they will play their own parts and lives.. I so hate the comparing part and the way they think and the way they judge and just so hate it all. I have been there, i used to remember them not being happy with me when i fail. God, i dont know why they became such persons..and glad i am not. Soooo glad i am not, ill make it better and best for my kids. Hubby said we could make it different and prove to them that its not alwyas how they think thats right.
2 people like this
9 responses
@SIMPLYD (79762)
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
Oh jazel, i can fully understand where your anger is coming from. No one wants to be compared with anybody. It's really a no-no to compare one to another just to highlight the difference. Much more if it's coming from your parents. Speaking of favoritism, that's utterly unfair of them. Anyway, just as your hubby said, you could make a difference!
@swirlz (3138)
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
Comparing you with your siblings is already bad. Now, they're comparing the kids of the kids. It's a new level of unfair.
@SIMPLYD (79762)
• Philippines
4 Oct 11
It's blatantly playing favoritism. I am glad i have a very fair mother and father.
@swirlz (3138)
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
Wow, you're really a good mom. You should show them that your way is better than theirs. No, not by means of competition but by showing how happy and accomplished your children has become because of your support. All a child wants is the support of his parents, no matter what he wants to pursue. (Or no matter what gender he is into. ) Being shunned by parents is one of the most difficult things to go through in life. And being forced into others' wants can only lead to rebellion. Because that is not what their hearts desire. They may try to follow in the beginning, but sooner of later they'll want to break free. They'll have to break free, it's just like trying to survive.
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
oh yeah no matter what gender they will prefer i will still support them But really, i do not want to force them into something that will make them rebellious, its something that will cause them to rebel more.. like what i did. lol. Instead i'll let them see options in life, make them choose their own path but still support them.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
14 Oct 11
Hi Jazel, what your mom and dad did is not because genetic. it happens spontaneously because they are parents. what parents want is proud having the best one. but you had learn a lesson from them that having a best one and comparing a child with other is hurting the kids it self.
@GardenGerty (99424)
• United States
4 Oct 11
I am sorry you have a hard time feeling like you are accepted and approved for who you are. Some older generations treat each other that way. You are correct that it is not good for your kids to be treated that way.
@bunnybon7 (36541)
• Holiday, Florida
3 Oct 11
it sounds like your family is like some of mine. they have favorites and not enough sense to care if the kids know. ive had family like that. my mom and grandma. i hated how they made others in the family feel. so like you, i watch what i say around family so i dont make them feel like they are not as good as others. my grandpa was the best man and i hope when im gone my kids and grand kids will feel about me like his did him. every one of them has insisted they were his favorite i think thats pretty good considering he had 12 kids and 50 some grand kids.
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
Are you sure you want to got out of your family tree? Well i think that is not a good idea. Your family is the persons you can lean on, maybe not now, but soon you will be needing them.
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
Hello Jazel, If only my mom would have travelled back in time, she never would have sent us to schools that are expensive. though, I am very blessed because my mom doesn't compare me at all with my brothers. in fact, she even praises me despite of me not being intelligent, because I was smart not to get married out of passion and lack of preparation. though the only thing left is for me to have another job again or start a small business to complete my life. It's not about the genes, but it comes with the choice, and my brother sworn he won't be like dad but he end up having spoiled children. sometimes, I wonder why i choose letran when i could have chosen another school. studying in popular sschools doesn't make you intelligent, it's what you do that supposed to make you proud. Only God knows that they're doing it wrong.
@iRiZkiE (68)
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
you have to avoid your kids into seeing them because if they do that always (the comparing part) your kids well loose their self-esteem... and that's not good on their part because it will make them less confident about there selves and they will become scared of doing things because they will always think that what they're doing is not good enough for their grandparents... reading all your statements about your parents makes me imagine how tough was it during your younger years when you were still studying...oh my! i felt lucky i didn't have those kinds of parents.... no offense but i don't like the way they compare the kids... you're right in the part that you said to your parents that you'll let your kids be what they want to be...go mom!!! that's the spirit of a good mother!
@sql_cell (1429)
• Indonesia
3 Oct 11
Way of thinking people, are diverse. In a keluargapun, also has a different idea. One that we hate, not necessarily other people hate. Something good, not necessarily according to other people is also good. We just have to do, what we believe to be true. Prove it, to people who do not have the same thought, that our thoughts are also good.