I have social phobia, what to do?
October 7, 2011 7:06am CST
For some reason, I feel that I have suffered from the social phobia which annoies me a lot. The sympton shows when I communicate with someone who is unfamiliar or not match my character well. For one, my subconsciousness will forces me to hide my smile, but on some occasions, I have to show smile to others no matter who they are. Moreover, I feel nervous and in group activities. You know, how embarrassed is my expression at that time, It really affect my interpersonal relationship. I search some imformation about social phobia and I know it's a kind of psychological disease. Thus, I feel afraid of the detrimental influence it may bring hereafter. So do you have any good ideas that can cure this disease? Thank you so much.
7 Oct 11
szz1990602, I believe you are not a socially phobic except probably a lack of self confidence and understanding of yourself. No one is the same when it comes to handling relationships whether it be casual or intimate. So, you do not need to be over sensitive when you are unable to smile when you do not feel comfortable with the opposite party or be obligated to say yes when you meant to say no. A smile may make people comfortable but when you are not insincere then that smile will not be genuine and well accepted by the people around. So, I say take a step back and relax with the company you are with. Stop giving false hopes or expectations or commitments even to yourself when in the first place, you should be comfortable and making people comfortable to be with you. Tension will just work against you when you are actually pressurizing everyone.
14 Oct 11
Don't worry so much. I think an infectious smile is a very good thing but forcing one shows insincerity or nervousness and many people are repelled by both. Try to find your comfort zone. I will tell you a short true story. I went for a coffee with a person that was very paranoid. We were sitting at the front counter and he was telling me that he thought everyone was always looking at him. I told him in a commanding voice, well not so commanding as inviting, to please look at my eyes and then I asked him to listen. I did not let my eyes leave his. After a while I said calmly, try this please. Turn around and look at the people but only for five seconds and then turn back to my face. Try this now please! He did that, I looked in the direction he was looking and after the few seconds looked at him again and said, now you see no one was looking your way were they? The point is everyone is concerned mostly with themselves and in social meetings we should realize this to feel more comfortable. He had been staring at people expecting them to be staring at him when in fact he was causing this himself. We just need to relax, show that, be ourselves and take some interest in other people now and then. Then we are being social. Hope this helps you.
• Delhi, India
7 Oct 11
Hi! It appears that you are taking things too seriously. Most of us feel nervous when we need to interact at a public place or need to address a large gathering. Remember one point - all human being are like us and we speak out or ask or share anything with them, they are not going to fire us. So do not feel afraid of interacting new people. All the best.
• South Korea
7 Oct 11
I am the same I think/ i don't feel really comfortable around strangers so i don't open up a lot. And stay in silence whenever I am around those people.But when I am around people I know, I am totally different and cannot stay quiet at all LOL I am fine with that habit of mine actually.
7 Oct 11
hi there!. i think you're having stage frights, to have it is normal cause there are people who really feels ashame in front of audiences. but if you're getting uncomfortable about it and it already hinders the activites of your daily living, you may need to consult a psychiatrist. well,as for the treatments of it, there are.specific medications for it,like anti-anxiety,tranquilizers,or antidepressants. just consult your doctor about it. there are also psychotherapies available,these are group counseling sessions or the like. you may also consult the doctor about these. don't self-medicate cause this may cause another problems.:)
• United States
7 Oct 11
I don't think anyone can help you with this. I am the same way that is why I can do so good online talking and not offline. I went to my first business meeting last night. I only talked to my district manager. I sat down in a circle and did not speak until I was spoken to. That as by one woman at that. I felt terrible about that. You need to start somewhere and maybe going to clubs will break the ice.
7 Oct 11
I have this too. You might want to go to a shrink. I know it sounds real serious and all, but I've been going to one since the age of fourteen and I feel relieved. It's a good help. Although the ''disease'' might never go away for good, it really helps you. There are also some workshops about this, although I find them really scary. I don't think it's a good solution but I know some people who liked it. And in the end it's about what you want.