When Will I Know that I'm Ready to Become a Parent?

@ronadelle (1547)
Philippines
October 7, 2011 8:21am CST
I just recently got married. Many people ask me when are we planning to have a baby. The fact is, my husband is wanting to have one now but I still think that it's not just the time yet because I don't feel that I'm ready for it and I'm glad that he respects that. Usually when I plan something, I give myself time before I actually go for it. And having a baby or planning to get pregnant is not a go for me this time. I love kids really and that's why I chose to become a preschool teacher. But I still do not know why I don't see myself yet to be a mommy. I know in myself that I want to have kids on my own, I actually like 2 children. (a boy and a girl) I'm excited about the thought but I don't know when will I feel it so I could go for it. I'm not pressured either because I still want to enjoy our early married life. Our plan of having a baby is by next year or the year after that. Are you a parent? A mother? Can you let me know how it is to become a parent? Is it a difficult task for you or are you enjoying being one? I'm sure that whatever you say will help me a lot.
6 responses
• Philippines
7 Oct 11
Just like what you said, you need more time to have babies. Well that is good, just enjoy bonding moments with hubby like dating him and getting to know your spouse well. Its good if you two will have the opportunity to travel because if you have kids already, it will be difficult to tag them along. This decision will also depend on you since age in women giving birth is another reason why some needed to speed up. If you think you are still young, then go ahead there is no problem why you would be in a hurry to have babies. But if you are in your late 30's then you can now step on the green signal. I enjoyed getting to know more my hubby and traveling a lot while I am not yet pregnant. Now that I will become a mom a month from now, I am excited to welcome our baby since this will be another chapter of our lives as a family. The challenge is not the same, but it will be exciting though! Just enjoy what you have for now, no pressure needed.
@ronadelle (1547)
• Philippines
7 Oct 11
Thank you so much. I love everything that you said. That's what I'm really thinking about. I want to travel with my husband abroad. We actually are going out of the country for our honeymoon this coming December. And I also think that I'm still young. I'm only 26 and I'm planning to get pregnant by 28 years old. Good enough, right? I'm happy that you enjoyed traveling with your hubby first, dated happily! Congratulations on your upcoming baby!
@maximax8 (28250)
• United Kingdom
7 Oct 11
I think that the perfect age for a lady to have a first baby is age 24 to 29 years old. Then it is ideal if she is age 27 to 34 years old to have for second baby. I think that after age 40 it is too late to have a baby. I had my first baby at age 22 years old. Then there was a long gap. I had my second baby at age 34 years old and then my third baby at 36 years old. I have a teenage son, a 4 year old disabled son and a 2 year old daughter. I am a primary school teacher. I felt more ready by 34 years old to have my kids. I think age 22 years old was a bit too young to have a baby. However I got pregnant early in my marriage. Many ladies simply get pregnant and then get used to the idea. Good luck with feeling ready to begin having children.
@ronadelle (1547)
• Philippines
7 Oct 11
Thanks maxi! I'm sure that I will be ready sooner, but right now, I just want to enjoy first alone with my hubby and travel with him.
@olivere99 (221)
• Sweden
7 Oct 11
You has to belive you're ready, it's not what other belives, It's what you feel and want to. So if you're ready you can do it. Only you dicide if you're ready. regards oliver
@ronadelle (1547)
• Philippines
7 Oct 11
I will oliver and thanks for this. I needed this words.
@didi13 (2927)
• Romania
7 Oct 11
Society and away our modern lifestyle increasingly more naturally existence. As a result, generation after generation, we are increasingly less prepared to be parents! We focus too much on yourself, your own existence and do not know how to make room for children ... From my own experience, nothing and nobody can prepare for parenthood, and there is no good time, you always would have had little time for anything else! Before having children I thought I was ready for him, as you know you love him and educate him, and we are very, very happy. And now I have a little girl, beautiful and energetic and our life resembles a roller coaster journey: No time to breathe as will an updated fall into the void! The most important project of mine and give daily test result is below expectations, but take it every day all over again, I try, with patience, with imagination, with anger, with passion, with frustration and with love to be a parent ... one almost good. And in the middle syndrome "stories about my child" (who gives me the opportunity I can talk non-stop) when I realize that may have negative side too much detail, I add quickly: but it's very nice, and if you want children I recommend wholeheartedly!
@ronadelle (1547)
• Philippines
7 Oct 11
Hi didi, I am really wanting to have kids on my own. I'm just not up to it right now. Besides, I want to be emotionally and financially ready. So that my children will be really taken care of. Thanks for you your insights.
@koperty3 (1877)
11 Oct 11
Well. I'm 31 I live with my partner since 5 years. He is ready to be a parent I'm not. And I have no idea if I ever be ready. Just I don't feel that I would be good parent.I thin you need to feel that this is right moment for you to become mum. If you don't feel it it means that you are not ready yet. Don't rush. I know many people whose did not wanted have kinds and they have. They are frustrated and not very happy because they weren't ready for it. I believe for everything there is always right place and right time. I wish you all the best with that project
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
10 Oct 11
I've been mother to my daughter for nine years in December and to my son for five years this Friday. I also experienced two miscarriages, one of my miscarriages was in 1999 and the other was in 2005. I actually knew from the time that I turned eighteen that I wanted to be a mother, but I knew that I wanted to be in a stable relationship before I was pregnant. With my first miscarriage, I wasn't in a relationship that was stable and I believe that was the reason that I miscarried my oldest son. Then, my daughter was born 11 months after I met the man that is now my husband. However, I knew from the time that I met him that we would be together for the rest of our lives.