my sis wants kids and a hubby now

United States
October 8, 2011 12:47pm CST
My sister is 40 and freaking out about marriage and kids. Her doctor is telling her she needs to start planning for kids if she wants to have them anytime soon but she is not currently in a relationship so what should she do? She is constantly on the websites for singles, hoping to meet her Mr.Right but how can I get her to see that fate will work out best for her and that if she has kids then let it happen on its own. I was married at a young age and wound up divorced and later had 2 boys and ever married either one of their fathers. I a still with my youngest sons da but Iam in no rush to marry since my firt one was a joke! (LOL) I had my kids late as well, one at 29 and the other at 35 (I am 37 currently) but I just dont want her to force things and regret it later. How can I get her to see life has its own plan for each of us and enjoy life now instead of forcing things...but I dont want to hurt her feelings...got any ideas???
3 responses
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
8 Oct 11
My daughter felt the same way...but she had given up on finding anyone....that was 13 years ago and now she is happily married with a beautiful daughter! I think when she stopped pushing so hard things naturally occured. I think you are right to tell your sister that it will happen when it's supposed to....and if it doesn't.....that is the way life was intended for her!
• United States
9 Oct 11
Well its great to see that your daughter moved on and then things did happen by fate and NOT by force. Glad she is happy! Maybe my sis will get over this new crazy obsession and see how great life is now...I mean I do love my kids dearly but its very exhausting some days and I can always remember life before them and sure it was lonely but I also wa not as hectic as it is now. She needs to be happy she is single and no kids and live life to the fullest because onceshe has kids its a whole new ball game :)
@tpisces (66)
• United States
8 Oct 11
I feel the same way if she wants kids & a husband then let it happen on its own. Since you have experienced these things then you are giving her good advice cause i'm sure you don't want her going into the same foot steps as you or toward other people you know. Alot of times when you want something you don't always get what you want or should i say the right one especially when your that eager to accomplish something which is valuable in life. I which your sister luck
• United States
9 Oct 11
thanxxx so much for your reply! I am hoping one day she will see it for what it is and that everything will happen for the best but maybe not EXACTLY how she wants it to happen. But sh e definitely needs to stop forcing things to happen or she will wind up with someone she doesnt love or kids from person she regrets having them with. Lets hope she will move on from this DESIRE and enjoy life as it is!
18 Nov 11
I know how you feel here too, my Sister isn't rushing it but we all know she does want to marry and have kids too. Myself, I am just too happy too be single now I hardly ever think of it and I just haven't wanted kids much at all. We have always be teased and lovingly called the opposite Sisters since we look nothing alike at all and have allot of different opinions and views on life too. She wants to keep peace always and have fun allot too. While I am so tired of just having fun and want to learn more and earn more to be more independent now. She is with a man she is very serious about it seems to me but we are not sure yet if marriage ha come up it seems they both are too happy the way things are right now they just don't want to do anything to wreck it or stress it in any ways. This is how I know it's serious though I have never cared that much to try that hard. So, I guess she is just too good at hiding everything from us still. When we find out it will be all of the sudden and a surprise to us all. I will be very happy for her but hope she won't get hurt too. I won't care if I am 40 or older as long as it is right so I do understand just what you are saying. This is one of the main reason's I am 34 and single with no children. I do need Mr. right too and like I said have been in no real hurry for a baby either. Thanks,A.B.