time to end the relationship?
@totallyundecided (3190)
Philippines
October 12, 2011 12:38pm CST
I believe that every relationship is different. It's time to end a relationship when the other person stops offering love and commitment into the relationship. When the person is not focused on going forward and growing in the same direction as the other person. If you love someone and they are not recipicating the same and their actions are speaking way louder than their words, it might be time to consider ending the relationship. The longer you are in it, the harder it may be to heal. I believe if you are always having doubts about the relationship and you constantly are having to seek reasurrance if the other person loves you and wants to be with you, it's not meant to be. It shouldn't be that hard. Breaking up with someone is never easy. Your heart will try and do everything it can not to feel pain. But through the pain, you will feel and overwhelming sense of peace and you will know, it's the right thing. If you truly love someone, you will stick with them and work it out no matter what's the cost. As much as you may love someone and want to be with them, there is no promise that they will want the same, especially if they aren't putting in the effort.if relationship is hurting you, get out of the relationship. You deserve someone that will love you more than you've ever dreamed! How about you, when do you think it's time to end a relationship?
8 people like this
21 responses
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Interesting thought...
I think if the couple aren't happy at all with the way things are, then it's time to end up the relationship. One person might be confuse and the other tries to smoothen it up is something that can be saved, I guess. As long as you believe with one another then its still worth all the sacrifices. But if one stops believing no matter how hard the other reassure you, I guess it's time to walkaway.
3 people like this
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
A good sign that the relationship has reached its goodbye moments is when one of the partners start to complain about doing so much sacrifices to keep the relationship intact. A good relationship is a happy relationship. A happy relationship does not demand so much sacrifice from anyone of the partners involved since they are always happily spending moments together. Once this magic is gone, dissolve the relationship. There is no compatibility then. The relationship is good only for a little while to keep going but not for keeps.
2 people like this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Hi, triny.Thanks for the good answer. And yes, one reason is one is complaining a lot.
And yes, I have to agree with Enelyn is when one is starting to deny herself about the truth that the relationship is not happy anymore.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
12 Oct 11
Emotions that are strong are very close to each other, love, hate, envy, pride and any others that seem to rule your whole life. If you have relationships that are ruled by any of these chances are it's not going to last. You will note that I added love in here with all the rest. A relationship that is your whole life is doomed. A healthy relationship is any easy one, your life may not be easy but your relationship should be. It must be based on trust, consideration and yet still allow for individuality for each person. The love is there but it is healthy and not an all consuming love.
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Yes, Love is the greatest foundation of all. Without love, next days are not possible or may it be hard to deal with.
I always pray that I will have the healthy and not consuming love because it suffocates a relationship. 
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Yes you are right. And your topic is exactly right for me, coz i am too in the same situation. I was heart broken a month ago and i tried things to be good again. Sent him a lot of messages but he never care. So i feel in deep pain and i cant go moving on. But i need to do it either i like it or not.It really hard and i feel dying but what can i do? He never care so why i care... this thing is killing me inside. But you are right time to end the relationship.... But my heart says no. I feel to wait more until i gave up.. its craziness but this what i feel right now,, so confusing...
2 people like this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
i understand how you feel. but if he really don't care about you anymore, then you should start to move on. let him realize that it is his loss not having you in his life. it's hard but you must move on.
@airkulet (2700)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
@ mods it is better to look for someone else than keeping your feelings for him. If he doesn't reply to any of your messages then it is a clearly statement that he is not in love with you anymore. Totallyundecided is right to just simply move on.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
12 Oct 11
I agree with you. I think 'when the writing is on the wall' so to speak, that it is time to end the relationship. So many women and men hang on and hang on thinking that things will get better, and they don't. I know I hung in there for at least two years longer than I should have and finally my hubby came clean and told me he was in love with another woman. I had already seen that he didn't love me, but I refused to see it with my own heart. I was just a place to live while he gave his attention and OUR money to his girlfriend. I would never be that dumb again.
2 people like this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
that's why they say that love is blind. When two people are in love they don't see one anothers fault. One or the other or both can end up getting hurt because it might be a rude awakening. Because when they do have their eyes wide open they see things that don't work out. you know that the person is not in love with you anymore but you don't accept that fact since you love the person so much. but for sure you will get tired to that kind of situation eventually. each one of us wants to be love 100% by the person we love.
@vasumathi (436)
• India
12 Oct 11
I agree with you. we should give importance to only people who will be reciprocating us with the same. If we dont do this, we will be sufferer.
2 people like this
@airkulet (2700)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Yes you are right, relationship is like a give and take with each other. If the other just only taking the advantage of the relationship then that is a selfish trait of the other that no one deserves it because of loving truthfully with the other.
1 person likes this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
I couldn't agree the more because when you're the only person who handles the relationship and you know it's only a one side love, then it's time to end the relationship.
@lynnwag (3)
• United States
13 Oct 11
None of you really say if you are talking about a marriage or just a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. It makes a big difference. If you are married, you have made a promise and a commitment. Does your word mean nothing? Marriage is work - and it takes two, both giving 100% ( not two giving 50%!) I can speak with knowledge and wisdom here because I have been married 30 years to the same guy! No it has not been bliss all the time. In fact we are going thru a rocky time now - as I am entering menopause and feel very ugly at this time. I have put up walls to keep him from seeing the ugly me so he wont be turned off - and he is just sad about the walls and doesn't see any of the ugly. We will work thru it and come back together better and stronger! I know this - because we are both committed. Just because it gets hard - doesn't mean it isn't worth fighting for. People today want life to be easy - but unconditional love is not easy. It is so worth working for tho. I would challenge you to get the book "The Love Dare" by Kendrick.
Now, if you are not married, you are not going to like what I say here. But is the truth. If you are not married, you shouldn't have slept with him. When two people join together in this very special way without making a commitment for life, it can only bring pain.
2 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Oct 11
I agree with you 100%. Once you don't feel the love you once felt ,it is time to go. I would also add once your partner hits you, It is over.
1 person likes this
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
13 Oct 11
Physical abuse definitely is the number one reason to leave. However, just not feeling the love may be caused by both partners in the relationship. People are too eager to give up and walk away these days. we are teaching our children that things should be easy and if they aren't we should just walk away. Society needs to remember that nothing worth having comes easy.
2 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Oct 11
I agree. Love respect and friendship Should All be there.
1 person likes this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Same here. if there's physical abuse, i'll definitely leave that person. I really believe that respect and love should go together. if respect is not there don’t dare make any kind of commitment - even if you loved that person so much. any relationship without both would crumble.
1 person likes this
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
It takes and in depth study if one is thinking of ending a relationship.
I agree that it is best to end a relationship, as soon as, signs are getting strong that it is going the drain. Why should we keep on hanging to it if the relationship has become one-sided? This setup beats reason and holds the aggrieved partner at the losing end.
Most of us though, do not have the mettle to end up a relationship fast and quick. I know this for sure. I kept holding on to mine and it has been hurting me so very badly. Now, I am thinking that it is high time for me to move forward at a time which is rather a little too late. lol.
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
I know we all have individual struggles in life that we need to go through and I am praying for you Trini that everything will turn out fine.
Keep the faith to God and everything will be alright.
@Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
14 Oct 11
If there are no LOVE in the two persons involve, then you must end up the relationship, without love there are a lot of problem may came out eventually then trust might also be broken.
The love should always present at all time in the relationship we should always flourish and continuously grow for the person we choose to be with.
1 person likes this
for me, it is simply all about how the love i give is reciprocated. i do not plan to be a martyr, i want to be happy, too, but not with someone who takes me for granted.
@couchPotato100 (94)
•
13 Oct 11
Every relationship is completely different, and to end a relationship is always easier said then done. The longer the relationship the harder it is to end. Relationship involve love and love is a tricky business.
2 people like this
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
14 Oct 11
When love becomes a habit or routine, it's time to end the relationship. Love is vulnerable when it stays at the same point, and not moving forward. Love fades away when there's no more obstacle in the relationship to keep the spark burning. Seeing each other too often will result in making up excuses not to see each other as it's the same old faces and it's boring. When those feelings, excuses starts showing up, then it's better to leave as there's no more love in the relationship.
1 person likes this
@mhelsdelacruz (160)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
If I'm not happy anymore with our relationship I guess its time for me to end it. .If I giving all effort to our relationship and my partner is just taking it for granted maybe its really time to end it . . Its really hard to end and its never easy but if it is the best thing to do for myself then I will do it. .Than pretending myself and everyday I can feel the pain. .
1 person likes this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
it is good that you will make such decision because you want the best for you. ending a relationship is hard, but i think it's best if both of you are not growing in that relationship anymore. don't prolong the agony, end it if it's hurting you. love yourself then go find another person who will love you wholeheartedly.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
12 Oct 11
I agree with you for the full 200%. This is exactly what I always say. If you care about yourself, if you love yourself you have to do what is best for you.
It is not easy to walk out but it does take a lot of courage!
2 people like this
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
13 Oct 11
Your statement makes a lot of sense. But I also believe sometimes people just need a reminder of why it is that they love the one they're with. Sometimes the relationship just gets boring and needs a little pick-me-up. I beleive a person only has the right to end a marriage if they have tried everything possible to heal it and everything has proven unsuccessful. Then and only then should we have the right to walk away. (Of course, this isn't true for a relationship that includes violence)
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
I have always been this way, whenever i feel i am not "loved" i bail out. Every time i feel that i am neglected i sort of think, hey i need to be out of this because i deserve a better relationship, with a better person who would love me better. two of my past relationships was like this... I wake up one day i am not feeling the same for them anymore because they have not shown "enough" love.
The thing is, they loved me, but i wanted more than that.. i wanted the fairytale love, the make me feel like a princess kind of thing.. they loved me, just not the way i have imagined it to be. so both were a failure. Or.. maybe i have not loved them enough.
I can say though now, that i am in a painful relationship. But i prayed and prayed that God redeem me, but i am still here - and that is because i truly love the person, and believed that though he made a mistake and he said he will change, he will change the course of our relationship.. through faith... you believe the person because you love them enough, you love them more than the want of being treated all the best...
Relationships are two way street. give and take, share and experience, love and be loved. I guess, it is easier to let go and end a relationship if there is no love... when one ceases to love, i guess it will be a failure.
1 person likes this
@anusha2128 (886)
• India
13 Oct 11
I agree with you. But in my case it will be never possible to break up with someone that i love most. I will try a lot not to break my relationship with my loved ones. But in some cases we cant stop things going in our life. I lost one of my friend with some sort of misunderstandings. Your discussion made me remember her.
1 person likes this
@rmendoza123 (637)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Is hard to end up a relationship, considering the time you spent together, the laughter, the jokes, and everything. Do you think that's worth forgetting? I happened to me once in my relationship and it's hard to do it.
It's funny but it's really happening right? So what i did was i made a scene wherein i made sure that she will not like it. I mean a reason for her to leave me. And i succeeded, but it is really painful in our part. But i am sure that i get over it.
1 person likes this
@ralphs (209)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
if you think that you partner is cheating with you , have no time to do some activities like no time to eat with you , 101% he/she is cheating with you or the feeling is gone . but the best thing to do is talk to his/her one on one and you can have the answer what you are looking for .
1 person likes this
