would you be capable to stay with someone that loves somebody elese?

Romania
October 12, 2011 3:11pm CST
I was talking to a friend and he told me his story. he was with this girl for a long time,,they broke up because of him and since then he couldn;t get over it. he still loves her. the problem is that now he is with someone else and that girl knows that he doesn;t love her and that he loves the first girl. would you be capable to stay in a relationship like this one
1 person likes this
16 responses
• Philippines
14 Oct 11
She is very martyr if she stays in that relationship. She is just wasting her time on him because she knows the truth. But we can never say, we do not know the real issue there. Maybe this friend of yours only get happy with that man that is why she stays with him. If that makes her happy who are we to stop her but for sure she knows the consenquence of that one. Or maybe she is wishing that the guy will change his decision, that in time, he will realize that she is the one for him. We never know that, maybe that is the reason she do not give him up.
• Romania
15 Oct 11
she is probably aware of the fact that he doesn't love her but she doesn't want to accept the truth. In my opionion she is only lying to herself hoping that he would change and get to love her. I couldn't stay with a man like that...I mean the idea that he might dump me the moment the first girl comes and tells him she wants him back would kill me slowly...rather than being in a relationship like that I prefer to be alone
• Philippines
19 Oct 11
I agree, she is only fooling herself hoping that he will change. There is no room for her there and totally a waste of time waiting for him to choose her. We do not have assurance for that. Maybe one day he will tell her she is the one, but deep inside of that man, he still love the other woman.
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
I would definitely not tolerate this one. I know there should have been a give and take in a relationship. I hope that all relationships must have this concept. Being a martyr is good. Because you really have hold on to something you definitely love. However, you must also remember to have a self worth. When you love, make it a point that you have left even at least a 1/2 amount of love. As has been said, before loving others, learn to love yourself first. So let go of the person who doesn't love you much. There might be someone waiting for you, too when you free yourself from that person. Well, this is only my advice.
• Romania
13 Oct 11
that's really nice what you are saying. she loves him more than she loves herself..and this is wrong. I went trought this and it was horrible. he didn't cheat on me but he definitely didn't love me..I thank God I got out of it because if I didin't I would be writing this message from a mental illness hospital
@ardoy0731 (6865)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Its hard to stay with someone that already loves somebody else.I think it just prolonging the pain.We should learn to accept and move on even though it hurts. Sometimes the more we keep on holding to something hurt as the most.Letting go can ease the pain and helps you start a new life. In my case,I haven't experienced that so I don't know what will I do in case that scenario come.
• Romania
13 Oct 11
yes I think the same. and the more she stays with him she's going to love him more and more and it's going to be harder when he leaves her. she's probably making illusions dreaming about the fact that he's going to get to love her...but she doesn't realise that this isn't going to happen
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
It's hard to stay in a relationship like having a triangle love affair. I would prefer to have someone who loves me and only me. But I am not condemning people who stayed in such relationship. Love moves mysteriously and it's hard to fight the feeling once it strikes in our heart, have a good day
• Romania
13 Oct 11
she is not to be condamned definitely...but I can't understand how she can take that. he told me that he even cryed after the first girl in her arms..I imagine how much this hurts..and she loves him definitely
• United States
12 Oct 11
Personally no, I would not be able to accept it as I want the equal amount that I give a partner and would not want him sharing his heart with someone else. As hard as love is to give up I do live by a wonderful saying that "Sometimes you have to love someone enough to set them free". I couldn't help but wonder if I was just a substitute and what would happen if the first girl comes around. Would that mean that I was just a temporary replacement, see I could not stand for that. I feel we have to love ourselves far more then allowing someone to use us be used this way.
• Romania
13 Oct 11
yes you're totally right...I can't get it how that girl could take something like this. probably that if the first one comes and tells my friend that she wants them to get back together he would leave the second one without even thinking about it. I couldn't put up with that...no matter how much I loved the guy. I feel that she doesn't respect herself enough
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
for me,being with someone who doesn't love me is like killing my self.It will always hurt my feeling..
16 Oct 11
If a person is looking for love, why would they want to love someone who's heart already feels for another. There's just no point in that.
@tamirs (1808)
• Philippines
16 Oct 11
Nope,definitely can't.Because I won't be completely happy knowing one is hurting.In any way or another one will get hurt,no one wins in this game ,all will be a loser in the end.
@Sheerah (12)
• Philippines
14 Oct 11
If you wanted to be happy, find someone who could truly love you. In a relationship, there should be exchange of love and affection. It should come from both parties and not only from one individual. A relationship without love would not last long. In the end, if he doesn't really love you, it his lost and not yours.
@airkulet (2705)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Well no, I wouldn't dare to stay on a relationship that doesn't love me back. A relationship is a give and take situation. I bother to love myself than to throw it to someone that will never love me back. It is just a waste of time to stay in that situation or relationship. I hope that your friend recovered and be better, and good luck to his ex, hope that he learned his lesson!
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
13 Oct 11
This is happening to me now. I live with someone who does not love me, and love others. Actually I can not afford, but I forced myself to afford.
@mariahhh (1328)
• United Arab Emirates
13 Oct 11
For me, no. I am not capable to stay with someone who doesn't love me back. I want a guy who really loves, the way I love him. I don't think a relationship will work out if the other side doesn't love you back. Yes, maybe it will work out, but not for long. I know some friends who stay in a relationship even though it was only one sided love. They said they can tolerate it, that they are afraid to find and start a new relationship. Some are already too old to find someone else so they will just tolerate it. I don't think it's right. Age doesn't matter when it comes to love. I don't think I will have a happy life if I stayed in that kind of relationship. I will be so sad if my boyfriend doesn't love me back.
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
ABSOLUTELY NOT! I cannot stand the thought of loving someone who also love somebody else at the same time. I'm a jealous type of a girl especially in terms of relationship. I don't like sharing what is mine. If my man happened to love two women, then he have to choose otherwise I will look for somebody who is willing to love me truthfully and completely. I don't want to think who is more and who is less. Am an open minded person. I won't hold on to somebody who is not worth my love. I believed in the saying that "you cannot serve two masters at the same time". That's the saying I'd like to live by in my relationship. I also believed that martyrs nowadays are already nailed on the cross, just glad I am absolutely NOT! ;-D
@laniekins (4585)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Definitely not, I can't stay in a relationship with a man whom in love with somebody else. I want my man to focus on me alone.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
13 Oct 11
Never, never, never! There is no way I would stay with a man who was in love with another female. That makes not a bit of sense to me. The girl is wasting her life away on a man who is still in love with someone else. Why would anyone in their right mind stay in such a relationship. I would walk away and find the person who loved me and only me. If I never found anyone so be it. I wonder if she is staying because she does not want to be alone?? Still in all I rather be alone then be with someone who didn't love me. Give me a break its crazy!
@suja20 (1)
• Bangladesh
12 Oct 11
No I could not be capable to stay in a relationship like this one.