I think she forgot who she was messing with...

United States
October 14, 2011 8:47am CST
Its been 5 years since I have seen my husbands aunt. We saw her twice in the past couple months both times she was horrible. She has been and still is verbally abusive to me. Attacking me on every decesion I make in front of everyone. At my sons 6th birthday party she humilated me. Fortunatly my family didnt hear it, but his family did. My husband hasnt been there both times due to being in the Navy. I was talking to my sister in-law who said she was rude to her to, but apologized. I have yet to recieve and apology form this woman. She told me years ago I was the cause for all the family disfunction and I tore my husband away from her and her daughter. Not the case. I have been nothing but respectful and patient with this woman. We even gave our daughter a middle name after her, which I didnt want, but my husband insisted. He no regrets it. I have decided she is cut from our family for good. She has gone mental even threatening some one with a knife. I dont plan on telling my daughter she is named after her, but someone else. Some ppl think Im going to far by getting rid of all pictures and never seeing her again. Am I going to far?
5 responses
• United States
14 Oct 11
No,I don't think that you have gone to far.It sounds like she is crazy.If she is threatening some with a knife,then you have know chiose,but to cut her out. I wouldn't want her around my kids.So keep your chin up,and don't let that women get to you.Some people just are not willing to see that what they are doing is harmful to every one around them.In that case you should what is best for you and your family.
• United States
15 Oct 11
Im calling it self preservation. I dont want to be in an environment she is really comfortable in because Im sure than it will be ten times worse. Thats where she pulled the knife on a person who was just telling her to not call his girlf friend a wh*** and this was just a couple months ago, if that. I dont understand why my husbands family wants her around when I know she is in need of mental help. I have changed a lot over the years. I use to lose my temper easily with ppl who verbally attacked me and now Im just doing my best to show respect and cutting them out. I think it makes the biggest impact. Its best for my kids and husband and I to not be around her. i feel her to be dangerous.
• United States
16 Oct 11
If you feel that she is dangerous,Then you have done your job as a mother by staying away from her.You should'nt let any one make you feel guilty for doing what you know to be the right thing for your family.I have delt with crazy before and it is not easy.My couison pulled a knife on my borther,and I had to step in between them. So that I could stop him.We found out latter that he had been hearing voices.
@vikku2001 (258)
• India
15 Oct 11
Hello tink I can understand your problem.But I think that whatever you are going to do is okay but before that you must tell her that how bad you feel about her behavior and you want to make her right but if again she scold you and try to threaten you, then you must tell you husband about all this and after that surely you do whatever brings you relax.
• United States
15 Oct 11
I would so love to confront her. I have brought this issue up with my mother in-law who hasnt done anything. My sister in-law felt upset by this aunt and my sister in-law got an apology, yet after all these years of her verbally attacking me and the most recent events I have yet to recieve one. I want to tell my mother in-law were cutting her out, but dont want to upset anyone either. I have told my husband everything and wish he was home to deal with this. Its a waiting game on the right thing to do when communicating, but for sure we are having nothing to do with her.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
14 Oct 11
that's really rude of her... i sometimes wonder why mother in laws have hard time accepting that their sons/daughters chose to marry the one they love and this things shouldnt be controlled by them. especially if you both are already having 2 children. I think it is better to open up every issue to your husband so that he knows whats actually going on even when he's away. It's not even normal threatening someone with a knife. what was wrong with her. Is it about money? I mean, common, sons and daughters will eventually move out of the house because they need to start their own family too... I guess you are so far doing the right thing, it is not so safe at all to still have connections with her, especially that your children will eventually see what is happening... which isnt at all normal for families.
• United States
15 Oct 11
She is my mother in-laws sister, but nobody has stopped her all the years I have been in the family. Nobody has stopped her from her abusive behavior and use of others. I keep my husband informed. I email him all the time and I sure did email him everything she said and how she acted. I told him the knife incident which happend to his sister boyfriend. All because her boyfriend was telling this aunt to not call his girlfriend a wh***. She pulled the knife on him. I dont want us around her at all. We have gone 5 years without seeing her and I can go the rest of my life never seeing her again. I think she needs mental help and anger classes.
• United States
14 Oct 11
Wow, that's really tough. I have a whole lot of family problems myself so I know what its like. And you're not crazy for wanting her out of your life(especially about the knife bit). I would refuse to have contact with her until she apologized, be it months or years. I wouldn't throw away pictures though. Accidents can happen and she could be gone in an instant. And all pictures of the (few) good times you had would be lost. But she would definitely not be allowed over and maybe get your husband to talk to her. Good luck with everything.
• United States
15 Oct 11
You are the third person to say dont throw away old pictures. I understand where ppl are coming from. I havent thrown any away yet, except from my son recent party, since she humilated me and was just so rude. She even looked pissed in the picture. Its really hard, especially becauase I dont think my mother in-law, her sister, is hearing me out in the little bits I tell her. I dont want to upset anyone, I just dont want to be verbally attacked by this woman anymore either. I have put my foot down and my husband knows we will not be seeing her unless she changes and I personally think she needs some mental help.
@airkulet (2705)
• Philippines
15 Oct 11
Try not to cross with her again, just ignore her always as I think the two of you might explode every time the two of you interact!