My disabled son is getting on badly at school

@maximax8 (28558)
United Kingdom
October 14, 2011 11:30am CST
My disabled son is 4 years old and he is in a wheelchair. He has a teacher that is deputy head, the special needs expert and the school complaints officer. His learning support assistants do a job share. So he has an assistant with him all day, all week. He began the primary school last month with half days and seemed to get on quite well. Then he went full time at school. This month some problems have happened like him not answering his name when the register is called. He has refused to sing and not answered some people talking to him. Today his class did some work in the playground because it was a sunny day. They told me he refused to go back in the classroom and they placed him in the head teacher's office. He is in a wheelchair so I wonder why they didn't simply push his wheelchair back into the classroom. I am having a meeting with his teacher next week and I feel scared about that. I am hoping to take along one of Leo's old assistants from the special needs playgroup. Did you have any difficulties when your kid began school?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@AmbiePam (50137)
• United States
18 Oct 11
I'm sorry to hear that. You've obviously done a good job with him, so I would think this would be a minor setback. All of us get in trouble at one time or another. I was a good child, never got into trouble, except once when I mouthed off when I was about seven. I was called into the principal's office for it. One time in there and I was too scared to do it again!
@urbandekay (18312)
15 Oct 11
I think a lot of 4 year olds find school a scary and lonely place, I for one. How much more scary and lonely it must be for your son. I could imagine that finding the correct assistant would be crucial and hard to do because that person not only has to be good at their job but, perhaps, has to be one he likes. Good luck, all will be well all the best urban
@airkulet (2705)
• Philippines
15 Oct 11
Why don't you let your child take a rest for a while after all he is just only four years old. The earlier you let him to go to school is the more likely he would get bored and lost his interest in going to school!
@marguicha (102293)
• Chile
15 Oct 11
DEarest Maxine, I think that Leo has some problems that are making him do what he is doing at school. Would you, and could you, take him to a psychologist? He is obviously rebeling. There has to be a reason for that. But it will make it worse id he is punished for that instead of finding firt the cause. Why don´t you talk to him too, so he feels supported? I remember once, when my daughters were at school, one of them came with a sealed letter from the principal. I asked first to my daughter what had happened. She said it was probably all written in the letter. I told her that I wanted her version first. It turned out that although I understood the principal´s concern, I agreed a lot more with my daughter´s view of the issue that had to do with a couple of boys bringing a Playboy magazine and passing it around. The principal was shocked, I wasn´t and my daughter said that if was just a magazine in Englisg with some naked womean she hadn´t cared to see. Remember that Leo had some problems when Amber started to walk. Could he have other problems of the kind, now at school and he is not coping with so much time there?
@TrvlArrngr (4058)
• United States
15 Oct 11
Sorry to hear this. It is always hard when children first start school but it must be especially hard when your child is disabled. I feel for you and what you are going through. I hope it gets better and that your son starts to participate more. I know it must be hard for him to make this big adjustment.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
14 Oct 11
Maybe they were afraid it would make it worse if they forced him. I think we have all dealt with some anxiety from our children at one point or another when they started school. My son was the "clown." He was always getting into something and I think for a while I was at school at least once a month. In my humble opinion...it might be something that has nothing really to do with school at all. He might have something on his mind that is bothering him. I do hope that he adjusts and things smooth over.
@Janey1966 (24126)
• Carlisle, England
14 Oct 11
Oh your poor little boy, I do feel for him. Perhaps it's the going full-time he doesn't like? I can bet you this much; it will be something that's trivial to you and BIG to him that's bothering him at the moment. When I was about 7 years old I refused to go to school because my teacher "changed" from being really nice to a nasty piece of work. The reason? She was pregnant and it was affecting her hormones! I had to be taken in my headmaster's arms (kicking and screaming) and paraded through the school to her classroom after me and my Mum had been in his office. I'll never forget it, but once everyone knew what was bothering me, the teacher made a special effort to get along with her class! I'm sure the meeting next week will go fine.
• United States
14 Oct 11
A full day of school can be very hard on little ones. They need to realize he's 4 and he needs time like any other child to adjust. Some times the kids just have bad days. My middle refused to do her work last year for her teacher stating that she was too sleepy. She's always been a napper and was very slow to give up naps. Other than talking to her about what is expected at school and getting to bed a bit earlier is all I could do. This year she's still fidgity in class but atleast they are not suggesting ADD/ADHD like the did with my eldest whom is dyslexic.
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
14 Oct 11
Why should they push his chair back into the classroom if he's refusing? What if he reached down to stop them and gets his hand(s) hurt int the process? Have you asked him why he's refusing to answer, sing, and so on? I have no children, but I was difficult. My Mom was at school quite often. Not for not talking but because I wouldn't shut up. Totally opposite problem.
• India
14 Oct 11
Very sorry to listen this.. Now i am pregnant this scares me a little when i think about my future child.. I can oly say that your child need some mental support gives him physical strength to participate in all activities.. All the best to your child's future..