My daughter is in so much pain

United States
October 15, 2011 10:35am CST
she called me crying and does not want me to call up to that place. She said,her back is killing her and her neck hurts. If I call I want them to take her to the hospital. She said,if they take her to the hospital she will have to come back and stay in her room all weekend. I don't know what to do but hearing this child crying is not making me feel good. plus she said she does not know if she can stay there. I am so up in the air right now. Those chore hours are just stupid why have someone cleaning up at midnight. I will not complain about that because it is their rules not mine. This is not the best thing for me to be dealing with right now. this is just crazy. I am trying to call her and she is not answering. I will try again. what can I do from here but call there??
6 people like this
21 responses
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
15 Oct 11
If she is in that much pain or is that sick then she won't complain about not wanting to go to the doctor's or hospital. It's possible that her body just has to get used to the work and she's not happy about having to do the work. This too shall pass and she'll be fine.
5 people like this
• United States
15 Oct 11
She is volunteering to do the kitchen work. it is not something she has to do. the night time chores are what she has to do and so far she has had no problem with doing them. I even heard her tell her friend she could leave the bathroom and that she will clean it. I think the amount of work she has to do is getting to her. she will get better soon.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (46152)
• United States
15 Oct 11
Could it be she just isn't use to the work? That happens a lot and the kids adjust.
4 people like this
• United States
15 Oct 11
Oh,I know she is not use to the work. She is doing kitchen duty for breakfast,lunch and dinner. she is just in so much pain it is not easy to deal with. her nose is bleeding,she is sweating on her body she is cold one minute and hot the next. they took her temperature and it was 98. but what else can be done? I don't know..
3 people like this
@waflay (2729)
• Nairobi, Kenya
15 Oct 11
If she is not used to straining her muscles, then its not good to overwork her. Advice her to work on simple chores and by time she will be able to do other things.
3 people like this
• United States
15 Oct 11
I can't stop her she is away at school right now. they have her busting her hump.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Oct 11
Oh my the pain is that bad. I do see where you say she is doing a bit better now and I am glad. She will with time get use to it. I don't think it is like terrible punishment of any kind. They are teaching a bit of responsibility. They all have duties which they all have to share. She will get use to it and until then all you can do from there is continue to encourage her.
• United States
15 Oct 11
I agree. They are teaching her responsibility. Normally, we pick up a house before we go to bed. Someone has to do it. It might be her chore this week.. but maybe she will have another chore later on at a different hour? Who knows? I think mom needs to chill a bit and not worry so much.. I think this job corps could help her grow into a responsible adult if she is focused and not allowed to get distracted. She can use mom's sympathy as a weapon to get out of this. Nothing could be better than to get out and lay up with that boyfriend again... that's familiar to her. She will have to stretch her horizons to reach for a better life. I hope I don't seem to hard... but I see where this kid could end up if she makes the wrong choices in her life.
3 people like this
• United States
15 Oct 11
Next week she will have another chore. She said a minute ago her chore is not that much it is just moving the furniture may be what is bothering her back. she is doing better now and relaxing with friends.. she does not want me to call so I won't be. she is going to be fine. Thanks guys.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
15 Oct 11
I saw your reply to Ambie, that she is use to hard work like this. If that is the case, she does need to go to the hospital. I understand her not wanting to stay in her room all weekend, but if she is having back problems, one weekend is nothing compared to suffering with chronic pain from it not being properly cared for.
• United States
15 Oct 11
I meant she is not use to this kind of hard work. She is doing better now they gave her more pain med's she is now taking her shower.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Oct 11
Oh well in that case, she'll get use to it, just tell her to make sure to stretch before and after, makes it easier on her body...
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
15 Oct 11
I guess it is better to do some re-assessment whether it is still best for your daughter to continue with the job... i thought her job was something she is not used to do only, but I guess she was overworked which is why she is always complaining about her job. better to take her to the hospital if she can't take the pain. I wish her well...
4 people like this
• United States
15 Oct 11
She is going to go back to the nurse. they gave her some pain meds and sent her to her room.
2 people like this
@Hatley (159241)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Oct 11
hi gifts oh wow. this is a hard one. AS you are home and your child is hurting. Why on earth is she doing kichen duty? If its too m uch for her surely they can put her to doing something less hard on her. oh she sounds so young and she is of course.poor baby.Perhaps if they get her to a doctor he can prescribe something for her pain. sounds like she might have the flu but no fever that cannot be it.Could she really just be homesick? I hope this all gets straightened out for you and for her.Did she want you to come up there where she is? I do hope she can stick it out there. Good Luck and God bless. hugs from hatley
3 people like this
• United States
15 Oct 11
She is not home sick at all. she is living it up right now. movie nights,beaches,hanging out,and the kitchen job she has chose to do to get extra points. She has to do the living room all week at midnight and that is the hard part mopping that big floor and moving those couches. she is fine right now. no she does not want me to come there. she is fine knowing I am not coming anytime soon. Matter of fact she will be here for Christmas. Tonight we will do video chat on skype. I will be so happy.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (90960)
• Marion, Kansas
16 Oct 11
On one of my jobs I remember mopping and cleaning the dining rooms and it is a lot of work, and she will build more muscles and more endurance. I think she wanted to hear your voice, and that deep down she is proud of herself for doing a good job.
• United States
15 Oct 11
Hi Gifts, I think you need to settle back and let her be a big girl and work this out on her own. She's not dying, she is just crying because she is in pain. She is probably not used to being told what to do, and she probably isn't used to doing much except whatever she has wanted to do all this time before now. Her body and mind are probably rebelling against her being there, and right now the pain is the excuse she can use to quit. I would not support her in quitting.. I would minimize my calls. I know you are worried about her.. but if she isn't dying from some deadly disease, I would let her work it out. She needs to toughen up and this is some kind of tough love. I believe her body and mind is just making up reasons not to stay. We all have aches and pains when we aren't used to working. I've come home from work lots of times in tears because my back and feet hurt, but I still had to be a grown up and continue working. I couldn't lay out just because I hurt. She needs to toughen up and grow up and you need to let go and let her grow up. Remember, when she was home you said she couldn't stay home with you. She was on her own.. remember? Well.. let her be on her own now.. and just be there when she calls you. I wouldn't be calling up there all worried and asking her to go to the hospital. Believe me, if there were really anything really wrong she would have already been to the hospital. Let her grow up. Relax.. growing up is tough.. let her find her way... and let her be responsible for her own actions. If she gets herself kicked out, that is on her. I wouldn't make it my problem. If she knows she has no choice, she will act right.
3 people like this
• United States
15 Oct 11
She dis not tell them her nose was bleeding and that she was sweating in her clothes. But over all she went to the nurse and they gave her some pills. her friend gave her a masssage and she is now relaxing. she wants to stay there but felt the pain was too much. your so right you should see her room here. she said to me this morning I have to clean my room they will kick me out if they see it like this. You can't believe how her room looks here. I am glad she is there and what she is learning she should have done years ago. she is use to going and coming on her own and that ruined her.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Oct 11
To my point of view, she must be checked by a good doctor. She must undergo the necessary labs and x-rays. It is the health problem and health is everything for the human beings. You must advise her to go for a doctor and she may stay at home, it's not a problem at all. Many patients can be treated at their homes. As the patient can't stay and does not willing to stay at hospital she may go to her home and rest there. But, she is take medicine at time on regular basis.
• United States
15 Oct 11
She was given med's an will take more later on. thanks.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
15 Oct 11
I would go ahead and call there so at least you can get that much off of your mind. She needs help or something so I would not put it off for you or for her. She will just have to deal with the consequences of what happens next, I hate to say. Maybe lessons will be learned from it on her end and theirs.
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15767)
• Philippines
16 Oct 11
Oh i guess it is part of being a mother, it is torture to hear your children in pain. But maybe what they are letting do to those in the corp is part of the discipline.. she needs to be tough.. hope she is ok now. take care
1 person likes this
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
15 Oct 11
hon I know you want to rush in and save her but that is not helping her. Let her deal with it with them. This will help her mature, think about what she said, she doesn't want them to know because she would have to stay in her room all weekend, well think about it if she was really as sick as she says she is she would welcome staying in the room to heal and get better. Don't buy into it and baby her, your daughter has to grow up once day and become a highly functional young woman.
1 person likes this
@fannitia (2172)
• Bulgaria
15 Oct 11
I don't know the rules of this place. But I can't understand why she have to do such a hard work. What is the point to make a person overwork? At the other hand she is not a kid and she has to learn to make her own decisions. Don't worry too much.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26697)
• United States
15 Oct 11
I hope the chores alternate once a week or so. So that way she wouldnt be doing the same thing all the time. That wouldnt be fair either. I think they should just make her clean before she goes to bed. If she cleans the room once a day that should be fine. She shouldnt have to do it after everyone else goes to bed if shes exhausted. Her back probably hurts from doing things shes not used to doing. I'm sure she will be fine. Tell her the more she gets used to it the less her back will hurt. I just hope she can deal with this stuff and get through it. In real life she will have more then just a room to clean she will have a whole house or apartment to clean someday.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36697)
• United States
18 Oct 11
Well, being away from home for the first time is something that is a difficult adjustment to make for most children. I know that when I went to college it was something that was difficult for me to adjust to and it was because of that that I did have to deal with some stress related ailments. I think that if she is to give it a few more weeks, she will find that those things that are bothering her will start to resolve on their own.
@celticeagle (115084)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Oct 11
Isn't there someone there where you are that has to do with Job Corps that you could call and tell your concerns? They could tell you what their rules and guidelines are and perhaps help you in some way. It is sort of weird to have them cleaning so late. I can see it from the standpoint of no one being around but if they have school the next day......??!!
@GardenGerty (90960)
• Marion, Kansas
16 Oct 11
She just needed to hear your voice, I think. Sweating and a nosebleed are not reasons to go to the hospital. You get hot and sweaty when you work hard. I hear you say she has a good time and that is excellent. She can really be proud of herself for working hard and you can be proud of the lessons she is learning as well.
@deer04 (96)
• Philippines
16 Oct 11
Just pray for her and do what ever you can do for her, seek help for someone friend near her place and get closed with it. so you can advice them to help your daughter and look at her anytime.
• Philippines
16 Oct 11
Try to ask her if she can still bear the pain she's having or not. If not, you have to take her to the hospital because it might indicate a serious problem. There's nothing wrong in going to the hospital. Just try to let her understand that.
@bagarad (7917)
• Paso Robles, California
16 Oct 11
I have to agree wth those who say to let go and let her take the initiative to call you. This is he civilian equivalent of the army, I think. It's designed to give structure and discipline to young people who don't have it. Its part of what they need to straighten out their lives. They need to learn to stand on their own two feet. I'm quite sure those in charge can tell if someone is really sick or if someone just wants to get out of doing something distasteful. Since they are liable for neglect, I'm quite sure they will check out any condition they believe is real. The fact she didn't want to be confined to her room all weekend is the giveaway to me. If you are really sick, you don't care. You don't feel like being with people. If she doesn't want you to call, it may be that the others will tease her about being a "mama's girl" or something. I remember how my daughter used to complain to others when she was unhappy about something and make it appear that she was being abused just to get sympathy from the boyfriend or someone else. What it meant was she wasn't getting her way and wanted sympathy. She cause problems for others besides us by doing this. Be kind when she calls, but encourage her to do what's hard -- not escape it.
• Philippines
16 Oct 11
You should consult a doctor at once. Do not take this for granted, because you might not know what will be its greater effect in the future.