In a dilemma - not sure what to do.

United States
October 20, 2011 4:54pm CST
My heart is playing tug of war. My son and I left the small city where I lived at for over 30 years 4 years ago because I'd been unhappy with it for years. We wanted to move to a city that would add quality to my life. Four years ago we was finally able to leave and I moved to a pretty good city in KY. I was there for 3 years but I was satisfied because it still looked so much like IL (to me). My son was in agreement. So all 3 years I'd wanted to move again and finally my son and I moved again to this small city near Eastern TN. And we both been miserable here. It has a little downtown and a very poor bus system. Now we have the chance to move again. My family in IL wants me to move back closer to IL but I can't find a city I'd really like to move to that's anywhere between here and IL or close to IL. There's 1 bigger city in Indiana that I think I'd like but I (we) have to worry about the cost of relocation. We both agreed on this city in NC that is bigger and has a good bus system. I don't know how I'd afford to go see my family if I move here. I have to depend on Greyhound or Amtrak. I miss my family but I'd really love to live in this city in NC. I been wanting to live someplace I'd really be happy at for a long time. What should I do?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@huilichan8 (1379)
• Singapore
20 Oct 11
I think it depends on various factors. For instance, what is more impt to u mt this pt in time? Whigh is e best option, after taking into account e cost of relocation, e cost of living, ur priorities, etc? Personally, my state of emotional well-being is impt and if staying in a partcular location makes me happy, I'll stay put. I can always make a trip down to mt my family during festive seasons or juz once a yr during New Yr. Alternatively, my family can also visit me. Or u cld arrange to mt ur family somewhere that is convenient to both.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 11
I like and appreciate all the responses. My advice to others would probably be similar to the first response I got. But I think your response fits my situation better. I must admit I'm still very torn as to what to do. And I been very depressed for a long time and that makes it hard for me to make a decision. I believe my son and me are choosing another small city with a not great bus system but at least that city is very close to a bigger city I already been to a few times. I'm not super thrilled but I will be much closer to my family in IL so I think it will be a good thing (I hope).
• Singapore
22 Oct 11
Thanks. Whatever it is, I hope ur final decision is one that is e best for u and ur son.:)
• Singapore
22 Oct 11
Thanks. Whatever it is, I hope ur final decision is one that is e best for u and ur son.:)
@omchesunche (1755)
• Indonesia
20 Oct 11
Well, you remind me of my childhood when my father brought us everywhere in our country. Understand he has no choice since he must follow the duty from his boss. We often only stay for 2 months before moving again. It was really tiring moment for whole family. Then finally,he decided to quit his job and stay in one city until now. Meaning you must choose the best for your family and ask their opinion since money is not always the main thing in life.
• United States
21 Oct 11
My family got to go on few trips and that was very rarely and it was always to visit my mom's sisters in Michigan. I guess that's why I like to go out and discover new places maybe. It sounds like your childhood was rough; I'm sorry. Thanks for your response.
@eljayo (1107)
• Philippines
21 Oct 11
Hi! You are really in a dilemma.Well before you move to a place you have to really consider a lot of things such as transportation,accessibility to important facilities like electricity,water supply,food supply, cost of living and the peace and order of the community.Weigh in things and see where you really will be comfortable.
@veronizm (909)
• Philippines
21 Oct 11
It's hard to be away from the family especially if you're a close-knitted one. But sometimes we have to make sacrifices in order to live happily with our life. I myself have been living far from my family for 5 years now. It's just so hard to keep close to them when my (and my husband's) job is at the other side of the map. But what's important for me is that I'm happy with where I live and it's not that I wouldn't be able to keep in touch with my family, I'd still get to meet them every once in a while or just chat with them through the internet or phone. My advice for you is to always choose where your heart is happy, and of course you'd have to consider your son's opinion too. Just give NC a try. Besides, you and your family can always make a system where they can visit you instead of you visiting them or you meet in the middle, etc. Have a great day!
@airkulet (2705)
• Philippines
21 Oct 11
Before you move try to consider and study the place first, for you to prevent some regrets in future. Better think if all of the necessities are available in that place. Imagine also the situations that you may be facing and how you will give a solution in it. We cannot really decide for you, you are the only one that see the actual place, but good thing that you ask for advice here togives you some points to decide.