You have changed!
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
October 23, 2011 9:36pm CST
After several years of being emotionally 'together', he finally told me in my face why our relationship is never 'smooth'. There has been a lot of females in his life even if we're already together emotionally (we are physically far apart therefore I couldn't really say 'together').
We discussed bout it last night and he said that he had been looking for the 'old me' and he knew that it was wrong for him to look for it in other people but there are just times when he feels that I no longer listen to him.
I must admit, I did change. I realized that I no longer listen to everything that he says, neither have I shown him the I trust him for a very long time. Further, it seems he has felt and seen that I was only waiting for him to commit mistakes so that I could tell him "I said so!".
I am posting this discussion here today because I would like to ask you guys if you have gone through the same predicament. I would like to ask how many of you out there have been able to keep it all together? How did you 'go back' or 'start again?'. He has asked me for another chance, the last chance, and I haven't given him an answer yet but I am hopeful.
I know that some of you would easily say 'get out of there' but I have decided to try to work on it. I know I am stubborn but I want to do this, I really do.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@AnnieHouston (208)
• China
3 Nov 11
Everyone will change in the future, no matter who he fell in love with at the beginning, the result will be the one u share ur life with is only a partner who can give u strength and faith, who can give u a glass of water when u r thirsty, who can comfort u when u encounter setbacks. So ask ur self do u really want to be his wife now, that's all. And ask him does he want to be ur husband. If both answers r YES, then u don't have to worry about other things like change or not. Because we know nothing about future, don't pay much attention to what is an unknown. Good luck!
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
So ask ur self do u really want to be his wife now, that's all. And ask him does he want to be ur husband. If both answers r YES, then u don't have to worry about other things like change or not. Because we know nothing about future, don't pay much attention to what is an unknown. Good luck!
Awesome! I am truly ready to say "YES" and I am hoping he does too.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
ACtually if i were in your situation, i would really let it go and move on. What makes you stay in that relationship? ARe you still in love with him? Please don't be confused between love and being in love as they are two distinct world. You can have love for a person and not be in love and when one is in a romantic relationship one must stay in love and not only love.
I am married and there's no way i could get a divorce. And yes i am in that predicament but there's no way out. So i think you are lucky that you are still free and have that choice.
You said that you are stubborn and you have made up your mind to give him a chance. I just wish that you are happy with that decision. Good luck!
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
I am pretty sure I am in love and I love the person. Whenever we're together, I am truly happy. We talk a lot, just share things, have laughs together - everything is just really really great and I wouldn't want to exchange the feeling for something else. What's really the problem here is the fact that we would not be together, I will be leaving this country in a few weeks' time and the disloyalty happens when we're no longer physically together. 
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
Hi laydee!
Are you in a long distance relationship? Because if that's the case, then it's really hard to be "together" with someone when you are physically far apart. I have not been "emotionally together" with someone but I had good friends whom I got disconnected with because I just don't feel the friendship anymore. I tried giving the friendship a chance again but it's either considerable time has passed or I am not just into the friendship anymore so it was useless giving it a chance.
But then again, it's different with yours. I think if you've been together with that person for a very long time, then you might consider thinking about your decision again and think if you still want to give that person a chance or not. Think about all the consequences that might happen if you decide to be still with the person or if you decide to cut everything between you two.
Good luck. 
1 person likes this
@lilblondiemjd (857)
• United States
24 Oct 11
I have gone through the exact same thing. I dated someone on and off for almost four years. Towards the end, we just grew distant. The relationship became about proving each other wrong instead of love and commitment. He ended up leaving me. For a month I was devastated, I remember just sleeping all day to pass the time. Every inch of me just wanted to break down and call him, even if I would sound pathetic. Finally, I'd decided I'd had enough. I forced myself to go out with friends and do what I love even though every inch of me hurt to do so. After awhile, the pain just slowly disappeared. I didn't ache for him at all anymore. The funny thing is, a few months later, he called me wanting to rekindle things...And I wanted nothing to do with him! I had no feelings anymore! How ironic to think that a few months before that, I'd do anything to hear him say he wanted me back...But after I had healed, I didn't even want him anymore! It made me feel so strong. I haven't dated seriously in a couple years, but I just actually met someone last week, and things are going great. It's a bit weird at first, you have to relearn things, but it's so worth it. I wish you luck in your wonderful journey of moving on and finding someone new!
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
I think we have gone through a lot of break-ups. I have been tired of the relationship before, but there's just something that holds us both together and I can't explain it.
Perhaps I would just want to wait for the time when I will have enough of everything, then perhaps my heart would then be tired and just let go for good. I would rather wait for that moment.
Good that you have gotten out of a relationship that didn't make you happy. I am glad that you have met someone great. :) Best of luck to all of us!
1 person likes this
@EvanCN (42)
• China
24 Oct 11
From your words,I feel you still love him and wannna be together,though I stick to bachelordom.Sometimes I was comfused my friends always hesitated to the love between them.They couldn't make a decision when they met the problem that one of them changed the feeling to each other.It's very easy for me to figure out that cut the knot.Just follow your heart,when you don't love,just let it go,but if you still love,then try to keep.
You can ask your heart,do you love him now?If you do,just give you two a chance.
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
I indeed still love and I would like to keep it for as long as I can. I just hope that he wants to keep it for real too. I am happy that you agree to give him a chance, I do want to give him a chance, I am giving him another chance! Thanks once again!
1 person likes this
@althea_jan (16)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
It takes two to tango my friend. Having a long distance relationship is really hard to handle and you need a lot of trust. If you really love each other try to help each other to work it out and compromise. It is really a good idea not to give up. You said he asked for another chance so that means he is willing to fix it.
Good luck.. :)
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
Yeah, he's proving everyday that he wants to fix it, however, I have my reservations. This is happening now because we're together, but in a few weeks I will be going home - that's usually when things go bad but I am hoping we're now old enough to know how to handle and treat this relationship with respect.
1 person likes this
