I feel like not answering the phone

United States
October 24, 2011 11:39am CST
When she calls me today. I don't know if I should be the one to tell her he is leaving her. I know she will be so mad and may take it out on someone in her school. I think this is the best thing for her and want her to be focused on her schooling. But,a mother should be there for her child to cry on her shoulder. I don't want to hear it or even know about it. what is a poor mother to do when she is happy her child was dumped?
4 people like this
10 responses
• United States
24 Oct 11
Based on Lenny's past actions I really do not think you should introduce/entertain anything to do with him leaving her. I would say wait on it as tomorrow can be another decision for him. Maybe he is hoping she gets angry and come back home. Which of course is not wise. Although I know it is hard to keep this from her, as I too would be angry and want to inform my child. I think you should wait a day or two and see if anything changes. I say this as she will blame you and you do not need the added stress. If she asks then you will have no choice but I would not be the one to bring it up.
• United States
12 Nov 11
I am with you on this Bharat as there is nothing outside of jeopardizing her schooling at this point she can make with any type of decisions Kay Kay makes. So it is best to wait and either way if she decides to jeopardize perhaps it will not be a hasty decisions once she is here. She may think to herself, I do not need this as a world in Job Corp is awaiting. This way too Gifts will be there to guide and comfort her once she is here as opposed to saying something while she is there and not have a shoulder to cry on.
@Hatley (164465)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Oct 11
Hi gifts I read HardWorkinggurl and agree just wait as Lenny is about as predictable as California weather. If he stays that way good as she does not need the likes of him. but I understand how you must feel. I do not think she needs this distraction right now. Just wait as like HWG said Lenny is unpredictable.No dont tell her, let him if he has the guts,the weirdo loser!!!! You are a great mom so there too.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Oct 11
I feel like a terrible person right now. I understand and will not say anything and lord please don't let her say anything to me.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
24 Oct 11
Oh Gifts, you should NOT be feeling terrible!! Why would you? Its so hard to know what to do in these situations. If anyone should feel terrible, it should be Lenny. He has done nothing but make KK's problems worse and make it more difficult for you to keep her in line. If he had even an ounce of human compassion in him, he would not have even be able to look you in the eye, let alone put you in this spot. Being a parent is really tough sometimes and we all have made wrong decisions and all the while thinking they were the right ones and all because we love and want the best for our kids. Don't be so tough on yourself!!
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2452)
• Lippstadt, Germany
28 Oct 11
hi giftsandbagscom, this happens more often than you think. All right I dont blame you for being happy Kay was dumped by this loser, cause you have real valid reasons to NOT want him to stay around and ruin her life. But there are mothers who are happy evrerytime their child gets dumped as no one was or is or will ever be good enough in their eyes. Thats how my mother was.
@ddomz_83 (24)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
Mothers know whats best! Your presence is enough for now. Sometimes we learn it the hard way. But experience is the best way to learn. The second is, the lessons our parents taught us. God Bless...
• United States
25 Oct 11
I don't think as a Mom I'd want to bare that responsiblity. It's the guy's job to inform his girl that they are done, not the mother. He needs to tell her himself no you and not put you in that position.
@GardenGerty (104378)
• United States
25 Oct 11
I would not bring it up, but would let it play out as it does. If Lenny does break up with her she may or not tell you. She knows that you do not like him, and she may be afraid you will be happy and so will possibly not tell you.
@celticeagle (120554)
• Boise, Idaho
25 Oct 11
I know you may want to tell her but I don't think it is your place. It is her choice if she does something to someone there. Sad that you feel the way you do but it is part of being a mother. We want the best for our kids and sometimes that is difficult. They have a mind of their own.
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
24 Oct 11
Well, I must say that I hope that he is serious about this and that he does truly leave her alone as she needs that. He is no good for her,but why doesn't he tell her instead of expecting you too. I would not say anything yet as you really need her to stay there.
@ashbelle (49)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
What my mom did was waited for me to bring it up. She never started asking me about it or hinted anything. However, she just sit at the side of my bed and brought me my favorite food. Which melt my heart and went into starting the conversation. It was awkward to start talking to her about it but when I did, I was so relieved. Mothers are angels. She didn't say anything or tried to say something to ease me but she just hugged me when I started crying. It helped. A lot.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
24 Oct 11
I don't think you should say anything to her at all at this point. This is something that she should hear from him. For her to know that you knew before her would upset her even more, I would imagine. It would me. Just be there for her when she needs someone to cry to. Don't let on how happy you are that they are breaking up. Regardless of whether or not he is a loser, her heart will be broken. Just listen to her and let her know that you care. Just let her vent, cry or whatever. JUst try not to say much of anything other than you are sorry she is hurting.