I cant stop thinking about having another baby

@curmont (343)
United States
October 24, 2011 1:46pm CST
I have 4 kids ranging from 13 to 6yrs old and I thought I knew for sure that I was done having children as 4 kids is def alot of work. After I had my last son I had my tubes tied, I was that sure. The problem is now for the past year I havent been able to stop thinking about having another child it is consuming me. I have looked into tubal reversal surgeries that run between 5 and 7 grand. I am willing to spend the money the only thing is I am not sure what is fueling this intense desire, do I really want to start all over again with bottles and diapers and such or am I just missing the days when my children were younger and depended on me for so much. So I am just wondering has anyone had a child after they felt they had completed my family and was it all you expected or did you regret starting over again.
5 responses
@ShyBear88 (18575)
• United States
25 Oct 11
I'm not done completing my family but I feel the need to say something to you. Don't worry I'm not going to be mean at all. Have you talked about this with your partner and family? I know I have every strong feelings to have another baby but part of me feels its not the right time yet even though when I had my daughter 8 months ago it wasn't the right time then either. The more I don't talk about it with my husband and family the more I wanted it. When I do talk about then I see its not the right time again. I just miss the less sleep and the feel of being pregnant. Right now I'm living through my husband uncles and his wife. They are having there second baby and almost about a year ago the second week of November there first born will be 1 years old. Last time I did want a baby but my husband didn't and after finding out they where having a baby a month or two later we found out about our daughter. Here we are again. I just think its my wishful thinking of wanting the good old days back but I do see its not a good time. You might be going through the same thing just wanting those days back. You should talk to your partner and kids about if they want or think its a good idea to add another member to the family.
@curmont (343)
• United States
26 Oct 11
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me I understand it is a discussion where it is hard to give an opinion or advice but it is one that has great importance to me. I have talked to my family and they all support me and after some more soul searching I think I have found that what I am longing for is not so much another child as it is the opportunity to have a child under conditions that I deprived myself of in the past by being young and reckless. I had all of my children young and none of my pregnancies where planned, I was in a very unhealthy relationship with their father for many years as I was so afraid to be on my own. My situation in life is now very different I am married to a wonderful loving man and am far better off financially, I think what I want is the experience of having a child where I can be totally overjoyed at that childs arrival, plan the pregnancy ahead of time and take joy in sharing the whole experience with a man I know will support me every step of the way.
@ShyBear88 (18575)
• United States
28 Oct 11
For me I loved the unplanned pregnancy of my daughter. No I don't have the money then but I do have a little bit more now then I did 9 months ago today when she was born. We enjoyed every moment of my pregnancy and could wait till the day our little angle was born. But its different for me, I have a loving husband already and a great relationship with him. If you and your husband both feel that its the right time in your life to have another baby then have another baby. Don't let anyone tell you any differently. Its between the two of you and what you two choice to do together will be different from others. I know as a mother that you love all of your children but don't love another baby with another men more then you love the once you didn't have with a good man. I'm sure you won't love this or any of your children different from each other. As you said your in a different part of your life now. You older more mature, have more money and a better man in your life what more do you need to know bring another baby into this world weather adopted or not you two will be just fine as parents. I look forward from hearing from you with if you do end up pregnant or not or adopting if that is what you and your husband wants. Good luck and I know you will have no regrets with what choices you make in your life.
@stanley777 (7177)
• Philippines
12 May 12
Then have one... You can just adopt a child if it would endanger your life to give birth ain. There are hundreds of kids out there who needs a mother's care.
@timetravel (1428)
• United States
13 Dec 11
When my husband and I married, our daughter was five. I was in my thirties; he was in his mid fifties. He already had two young adult sons from his first marriage and wanted no more than the three children had already had. I was happy with my one from our relationship. Then, when Stephanie turned seven, and I was nearing forty, I started feeling weird. Like something was missing. I talked to my husband about another baby. He didn't think it would happen as he was now near sixty, but we decided to let nature take it's course. A few days later, a friend I hadn't heard from in a couple of years called me to tell me about a dream she had. She dreamed I had told her I was expecting a baby boy. We laughed...but then about three weeks later I realized I was due but wasn't feeling the usual cramping and such. I went and got a pregnancy test done. The result came back a faint positive, but as the woman at the clinic said, "There's no such thing as a faint negative." I was pregnant! In Jan. of 1993 I gave birth to my son, and we named him Paul John Christopher. He was a beautiful baby; today a handsome young 18 year old. Now that I am slightly past my mid fifties I am so happy I had this one last child. He kept me young and up to date on everything. I wouldn't have another one now - and he was for sure my last. But I can tell you I would do it all over again.
@ip5217 (1656)
• Philippines
12 Nov 11
I only have one baby girl at the moment and it's her birthday today. :) I think for your case, for as long as it is a mutual decision between you and your husband, that should mean a Yes. Go ahead and follow what your hearts desire. We understand the hardships that go along with raising a child but these are all worth it right?! My husband and I have small talks about having another baby, too. We hope to be a baby boy next. Regardless though, we would definitely love to welcome the next one.
• United States
6 Nov 11
I am only a mother of 1, so i have no real experience in this. But i just wanted to give my input and say, do what makes you feel complete and do what is best for your family. Maybe sit down with them and ask them how they feel. Or maybe adopt?? Good luck in your journey :)