is it correct to reveal your love story with husband/wife?

India
October 24, 2011 2:42pm CST
hi friends, how far it is correct to reveal or tell your past love story or any other personal story with your husband/wife. Majority of the husbands/wives can take that as a small simple issue in the beginning, but after some time, they should think about this, when the situations go wrong, they should use that secret as their weapon, they use that on us. Then you may get suffered. And if there is a understanding husband/wife is there, no problem. So friends share your views. Give the justice.
5 people like this
35 responses
@piya84 (2591)
• India
25 Oct 11
I wouldn't marry anyone before knowing their past.Its important to me. Its a trust building major and i dont buy this all past is past stuff. So i will be putting my cards down and except same from guy before i marry him.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Oct 11
hi priya84, you have nice tastes, but it is not so easy.
• United States
24 Oct 11
Hello Remo, oh my it has been a long time. I have not been in any type of relationship where we keep secrets to ourselves. Although there are somethings from our past that unless I am asked I don't see why I should bring them up, unless they are anything that may jeopardize us being together. Any husband of mine, would surely understand that the past is the past and what really matters is that past not affecting our current and or future. I don't have anything to hide really so if asked I don't see why I could not share. I am completely understanding also that if my husband were to have a past and wanted to discuss I would not mind as the main reason we would be together is for love and trust. I can't see where more questions should arise if we are honest with one another, as long as that past does not hurt us as a couple there should not be a problem.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Oct 11
hi sister. "past is past" concept is universal and so good way. It's depends on "understanding of two hearts" because human life is depending on "believing one person". You have given a clear explanation. And i don't know that "how it is possible to change the partner in USA?", why i am asking this question is "in India the couple once they will marry they should live life long". And if i said this "simply changing the partners in USA" with our people, they are really laughed about it, and yes, they don't know about it.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
24 Oct 11
Hello sweetie. Good to see you again. Anyway, to get to your discussion. Some people would rather share all the past experiences with their now husbands/wives, while others would rather keep it to themselves. I think its a personal choice and a great trust issue with most people. Some believe that honesty about past relationships builds a stronger bond, but most of the time it actually break up some relationships.
• South Korea
25 Oct 11
Hey there I actually told my friend I would tell everything to my lover if I had one in the future but my friends laughed at me and said I shouldn't go tell everything They said that would be a stupid move
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
25 Oct 11
It is your choice sweetie. If you want to tell it all, go right ahead. It is things from the past, so it shouldn't really make any difference.
2 people like this
• India
26 Oct 11
hi saphrina madam, happy to meet u again. hahaha always you will nicely keep away from the questions like this. Ok, We want you have to live happily. Have a great day.
• United States
24 Oct 11
No husband of mine will Ever know Anything about me , especially my past or present. and he will assume he will know about my future but he won't. I will be married to him but does not mean I will Ever let him know my heart.
• India
26 Oct 11
i am thinking that "wife n husband means" there will be no secret between them. Then only they can live lifelong friendly. In India the couple has to live up to die. Here the system is like that. Of course, in america that is other system. ......Eventhough, love is universal.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 11
Love is universal but marriage? Not for me. In other words I am closer to my guy that I will ever be to a husband.See I will not marry but I do love.
• United States
26 Oct 11
Oops. I forgot to say. My guy know Everything about my past. Why? We were friends way before we were lovers. We learned to trust one another.
@lady1993 (13049)
• Philippines
16 May 12
I think so ,since there should be no secrets in a relationship.. SInce the secrets will be revealed anyway- sooner or later.. So he couple should be honest with each otehr with their past life too.
• India
22 May 12
@prashu228 (18670)
• India
22 May 12
by the way..what do you prefer ramesh garu... will you share our your secrets with your partner? or will you say past is past....?
@bodhi_91 (193)
• India
25 Oct 11
Well it is a really difficult situation. I would go for say them but if you feel that some incident can become a big issue, tell that partially. Don lie, but don tell the total truth also. In that way we can protect our relation as well as be loyal as we want to.
• India
26 Oct 11
nothing is difficult if it is not bad. loved one is most important.
@bodhi_91 (193)
• India
27 Oct 11
But what if it is bad? Would U still tell?
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
25 Oct 11
Hi.... I don't see anything wrong in sharing your past with your spouse, but you need to convince him/her that it was past. You need to have that assurance which'll say,'I'll never ever leave you...' your argument about the past being used as a weapon at the time of crisis is true. And it's to be thought about before confession... You see the point! Take care... Good Luck...
• India
26 Oct 11
yes, nothing wrong in sharing. Have to be open with loved one.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
31 Oct 11
Yeah, that is right.. but please make sure that you can trust his patience and understanding... Or else, things will get worse... Good Luck!
@celticeagle (111566)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Oct 11
I don't think it is a good idea to share your past loves with your present partner. Especially if this present person has any jealousy or self-esteem issues. It is really none of their business and the past is the past. I would tell my girlfriends about the past loves but not my present partner.
• India
26 Oct 11
hi celticeagle thanks for your good response.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (111566)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Oct 11
You're welcome for that good response.
@JER616 (551)
• Philippines
12 Nov 11
Yes, it is correct to reveal your love story to your matrimonial partner for transparency. As a couple, you have to earn the trust and honesty of each other. You can only do this by revealing your past which completes what are you at present. Your past is part of your present for which your partner accepted.
• India
24 Nov 11
give importance to a real one.
@pardhu8 (391)
• India
12 Nov 11
Hi ramesh, Its better to share about our past with our partner.Its better reveal it before the marriage itself because if she is ready to accept you then there will be no problem.If we reveal about our past we feel better than before.She may or may not use it as a weapon.If she loves you then she will surely forgive us.If she takes it as weapon then she will be the main looser one who loses the most trusted person as her partner.Any person who accepts his faults will never do it again.So,its better to no to loose persons one who tells the truth. And regarding me,I will share all my past.Truth never hides,so its better to reveal myself rather than the other person revealing it.
• India
24 Nov 11
yes,you have a good opinion on this topic.
• Hong Kong
26 Oct 11
I think it just depends..... and you shouldn't tell all the stories to your companion. sometimes it's okay to just pick several tiny and funny stories , and it also might help to make both of you cherish your current life. However, too many stories might give a bad impression, and sometimes, even worse,trigger a kind of jealous thing. and it would be a kind of potential weapon when things go wrong. it really depends on the personality of your companion. if she or he is that kind of open,happy and easygoing person, it does not matter tell a little more stories. but when it comes to a sensitive person, you must take care. I did make a mistake to tell too much.....
• India
27 Oct 11
really nice response, thanks maximus2006.
@youless (84693)
• Guangzhou, China
26 Oct 11
I don't tell my past love story to my husband. Besides, I also will not ask my husband's past love story. No matter what, this love relationship is ended. It may be sweet and bitter. It is no need to mention it to my husband. He may not feel well when he knows how much I loved my ex-boyfriend. And I may also mind how he treated his ex-girlfriend. So I choose not to mention it. Just give each other a private room in this aspect. I love China
• India
26 Oct 11
If you past is not having that much of importance then no need to say. If it had any serious matter, have to share it.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
26 Oct 11
I consider my husband my very best friend and the person I am closest to so he knows pretty much all there is to know about me including past relationships. Having said this I don’t like to talk about past loves to him because it hurts him and he grants me the same courtesy. Although our own thoughts and feelings are private we don’t believe in hiding anything from each other.
• India
26 Oct 11
that's the great relationship.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 11
That all depends on the love story. If it is about you and your husband or wife, then sure, go ahead and talk about it, but if it is about you and someone else, then you better not because he/she may not like it. Again, it all depends on the story.
• India
26 Oct 11
nice thoughts.
@Lore2009 (7389)
• United States
26 Oct 11
I think it depends on the relationship. But I think I wouldn't tell my future lovers about my past unless they really want to know.
• India
26 Oct 11
yes, have to know and share each other.
@mesbakh (176)
• Indonesia
25 Oct 11
saying the truth is good, but sometimes not saying is muchbetter. i am married and i told my wife about my past time and she understood me. but i am not sure others women may undertand such condition.
• India
26 Oct 11
hi mesbakh, thanks for response.
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
hi ramesh, Well if my partner wanted to know about it I can tell but if he is not interested at all that will be fine Besides past is past and he can't change it nice to see you again happy mylotting
• India
26 Oct 11
I agree with you thoughts.
@eljayo (1107)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
Hi! As I have known ,men do not want to talk about your ex and vice versa. But if he asks about it or if you think he can learn from it then why not.It depends on the two of you as long as you don not boost too much your happiness with your ex stories or you do not let your present bf down with it. Don't make him feel insecure of your past relationships but rather make him feel that he is different from them.
• India
26 Oct 11
hi eljayo, thanks for response.
@kiran8 (14188)
• Mangalore, India
25 Oct 11
Hi ramesh, what you say is very true ! Most Indian men have double standards as far as any such issue is concerned.They feel that they can get away with anything- past girl friends or past affairs , even present affairs .Whereas , when it is a case of their wives having had similar issues , they hit the roof since they simply cannot take it.I have seen many such instances where the marriage has suffered because of such an attitude of the men ...All the best and Happy Deepavali...
• India
26 Oct 11
HI kiran8, i agree with you. wish you happy diwali.
@r3jcorp (1384)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
My husband is a good friend before he courted me. He knows the other guys courting me and even the past. Maybe that's the good thing if the relationship started with friendship, everything is comfortable and there is no secrets.
• India
26 Oct 11
if husband/wife will be as a good friend, then that is the heaven.