Absence makes the heart forget

@secretbear (19464)
Philippines
October 25, 2011 7:26am CST
In my experience, this has been true for many situations. The saying that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is not true for me most of the times. It's the other way around. Just like when breaking up, if I don't see the guy for a long time, I eventually forget him. Even for a guy that I really like, if I don't see him for a long time, I eventually forget him and even the feelings. Just like this guy who I was head over heels a few years back. I have not seen him for years and now, I don't even remember the feelings anymore. (I remember the boy, but I don't remember the feelings anymore... just like the song..) And it's true for things and hobbies, too! I've been addicted to Farmville and when the time came that I could not play it for days, I just couldn't play it anymore when I had the chance to play it. I wonder if this will apply to myLot. Because I will be gone for three days and I won't be able to log in here. I hope myLot's absence does not make my heart forget.
5 people like this
17 responses
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
2 Nov 11
In the case of one of my exes who worked away a lot, the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder was true...for me that is. In his case it was While the cat's away, the mice will play only he wasn't a mouse, he was a big fat dirty rat.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
That sounded disgusting. ^^
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
That sounded disgusting. ^^
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
8 Jan 12
same here. when distracted I easily forget when busy I easily forget, so absence or even lack of communication I will forget that's how I deal with all the heartbreaks I had in the past people said if I forget I don't really love but that's not true, I always gave it all when I fell for someone even long distance online relationship, in fact I married someone I met online LOL
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Wow. You've got luck online.
@taheraa (1547)
• Giza, Egypt
17 Nov 11
Sometime, absence for a short time strong our feeling and thinking for the others. but my life experience show to me and may be to all that long absence get heart forget and feeling disappear. we have some saying that " as faraway from eyes faraway from heart ".
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
Thanks for sharing that saying.
@SViswan (12071)
• India
29 Oct 11
In my case, it's true when it comes to people....and maybe other things too. I'm away from mylot a lot now. I think the reason I do not forget mylot is the notifications I get in my mail LOL. So, it's not really ABSENT. Maybe if I had the notifications off, I would eventually forget about mylot too....and never log on again. Now I do log on once a month or so.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
You've got a point there! Maybe if I turn off all notifications and stay away from here for a long time, I'll probably forget about this site, too.
• Hong Kong
26 Oct 11
ya, if absence does make the heart forget, I would not come back to mylot after almost one year's leaving.. This is my first response back to mylot. what a long time. alomost 12 months. I've almost forgot mylot. However it just rushed to my mind this morning without any trigger. Just got an impulse to see how about mylot now. So I gave it a try to log in my account. Not bad, I got the right password after couple of times try. So, I am sure you'll be back!
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
Glad to see you back here!
@taheraa (1547)
• Giza, Egypt
26 Oct 11
Hi, secretbear: you are absolutely right. We have an Egyptian say:" that what faraway from eyes are faraway from heart. eyes and heart make a true eventually feeling between people, and sometime or say most of the time ears share them for that concept. Are any body agree with me for that true finding. My best regards to all
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
I absolutely agree. Our senses really do contribute a lot to our feelings. Thanks for sharing that, taheraa.
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
I agree with secretbear. I have this relationship for year or so, but there comes a time that my partner needs to work abroad. Yes, during the first two or three months is still okay. We can live without in each others side, but after that something's very happened. Slowly, the frequent conversion through chatting and texting has gone. This only shows that no matter how affectionate you are with your partner now, there will comes a time that you will forget each other when you don't see each other for a long time.
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
By your past, I'm realizing how sad my topic is.
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
I want to apply that absence into myself coz i need to forget some one that bothers me a lot and disturbed my mind all the time. It makes me feel hurt more and more everyday as i remember the days that we still each other. Chatting all say long and night if there are times. Messages and a lot more emails and so on cards and everything. And that was daily. Then all of a sudden after almost 3years in one seconds we've lost the relationship. How can i forget those happy moments and almost gave me the hundred percent strength in my daily life. How hard in my case but i dont know i him. Maybe he can't missed me or missed me. I don't know. All i want now and always pray to God is he to have a reconciliation with him just to fixed the unsolved problems in my side and to have a smooth separation. Just like that and nothing more. I know if there is no chance for us, that is fine with me but i want to make things in order and for peace of the two of us. Do you think it is good idea? maybe you will agree or not.. Anyway have a good day to you and hope everything will be okay to all of us. God bless us.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
That's really sad to hear mods. Well, all I can say is you should clear everything between the two of you. Then after that, you can go on living and start forgetting him. Good luck.
@edsss17 (4398)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
For me, both sayings are true! It does not always means that when you don't see a person you love or loves you more often means you both will be more excited to see each other.. but in some scenarios, absence makes a relationships end which the sad part and example of them are LDR or long distance relationships! :/
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
That's why I don't really like long distance relationships.
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
Hi secretbear. I totally agree with you. Absence really makes the heart forget. The first few days or maybe, was it weeks that I was away I felt so lonely, it was almost unbearable. But, after a while, I didn't feel anything anymore. Then, when I saw the person again, I could hardly think of what to say and there were big gaps in our conversation, like we didn't have anything in common anymore. Absence made us grow farther apart. In your case, though, three days of absence won't matter. Having been here for quite a long time (6882), I think that the value of being with mylot has been deeply ingrained in your mind that you won't ever forget how it has become a part of your routine and how much you love being a mylotter. Anyway, wherever you'll be, have a great time and take care, my friend.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
I so agree. I have friends whom I don't see anymore and we even rarely communicate anymore and when we do communicate, it feels like there's nothing more to talk about when in fact, when we used to see each others a lot, we talked about a lot of things. .
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
I didn't know the real meaning until I am in such situation. Absence really make us forget not fonder (duh) The long absence is much better, no more pain, no more missing...as in nothing at all. I can't even remember the good times,memories with the person..so,it's better to cut everything (communication esp) and it make us easier to moved on. have a good day
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
Looks like you've experienced this, jaiho...
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
Funny coz back in grade school that used to be the motto I write in slumbooks, I bet you're familiar with that too. I really believed in that until I was put in that situation. Now I firmly believe that absence never makes the heart grow fonder, instead it makes your heart go farther away from someone. With the exception of those who are already married, of course.... Well, for myLot... I don't think that your heart will forget myLot, you have been here for so long and sees you're enjoying it here. You will miss it more than forgetting it..
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
2 Nov 11
Same here. I used to have two mottoes that I usually write on slumbooks and this was one of it. I think absence makes the heart grow fonder but only for a short time, you will miss the person for a short time but if the absence continues on for a long time, the person will eventually forgets.
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
Hi secretbear! I personally believe that absence for a short period of time makes the heart grow fonder. On the other hand, absence for a long (very very long) period of time makes the heart forget. I hope you come back in Mylot secretbear! I think it is sad when people leave this site. Even if we don't personally know them :)
1 person likes this
@lady1993 (20427)
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
I agree with you, it is the easiest way to forget someone. And it may be true to everything. Since an object becomes a habit if we do or see it everyday that we thin we might die or lack something if we don't see or do it anymore. I've experienced it with mylot too- I was too busy for week that I found it hard to get into it again..but then I forced myself to answer questions daily then I got "addicted" to it again.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
25 Oct 11
You were gone for a long time and remembered to come back! How long were you absent when we didn't see you? Then one day you suddenly reappear! I was married a long time ago....divorce I should say...can't even remember what it was like to be with him even though I still see him once in a while! He is very forgetable!
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
25 Oct 11
Don't worry, it won't forget to mylot, because this isn't the first time u are missing from mylot, while each time u are back, u come with a bang.. haha IN fact, mylotters would be missing u for sure and they will be calling u to come back ^^ IN my case of "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", doesn't really apply to me too. I will miss the person, but i won't miss those feelings of the past.. haha
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
22 Nov 12
You are right not necessary absence means forget I think if we are far from our family members means more missing and loving to them. When I goes in my mother's home for 3 to 4 days I miss too much my danger and sweet hubby but when live together then fights ehehe...funny fight not cruel type.