remembering the saddest ends

Philippines
October 25, 2011 9:54am CST
About 90% of my friends i guess would always talk about the negatives of their relationships. Like, he cheated on me, she is very nagger or his not sweet anymore. I can just count the people who talks about whats special about their partners. Why is that? When two people broke up, one would always remember the saddest end instead of reminiscing the sweetest moments together. Maybe because it has a tremendous effect and it erases the good memories too. I don't know but i always remember my past relationships with the good times. Maybe when the break-up is still recent then I could always ask myself where did we went wrong and think about the negatives first but i always treasure moments. It will inspire you. I want you to reminisce now....whats the first memory that pops up... the negatives or positives?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@djordan (37)
• United States
25 Oct 11
When I think of positives and negatives in my last relationship. We had some positives but more negatives. When the negatives begin to outweigh the positives then it becomes a problem. The positives were we got along really well, communicated alot, had some of the same interests, always happy yo see and hear from each other and frequently visited each other but not overbarringly. Negatives were we disagreed on a number of things, did not see eye to eye, he felt his friends were important and I felt the same way about mine, relationship was kind of one sided 80-20, love making was a way of making up, etc. In the end wejust feel apart mainly because friends were in our ears and we stupidly listened to them....I never really thought about that until I just said it.
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
It is sad to hear that. But I can sense a strong person in you.
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
Hi ddomz_83! I think that if a person is too inlove and heartbroken at the same time, good memories linger on his or her mind. This is most true in the cases of those people who are still on the denying stage. They try to keep negative thoughts because they still want to believe that it is not yet over. When the person is ready to recover and slowly moves on, I think he or she is realizing the negative part of the story. This is just an opinion based on my observation from the movies I saw and books that I read. I personally have not fallen out of love yet. :)
• China
26 Oct 11
When talking about the first memory in my relationship that pops up,I would always think about the first time that I played chess with my father.My father encouraged my interst in chess by letting me win over him,which also encouraged me to try as many activities as possible.It seems that my father "pretended" to lose at that time,but actually he was cultivating my confidence amd passion in life,which influenced me a lot.This is obviouly my past relationship with the good times.As for why I don't think about the negative memory,in one aspect,I'm an optimistic person,in the other aspect,there is a lot of positive memory,while only a little negative memory in my life.
@taheraa (1547)
• Giza, Egypt
26 Oct 11
Yes, most of people always remembering the saddest ends and talking about the negatives things of their relationships or any other activities has been happened in their life. May be that because bad events have great and more effects than good events. My conclusion for that, any one should be clever and just remember any bad things to be as a learning lessons to avoid in future and remember the good things to be as an ignition for their future life.
• Indonesia
26 Oct 11
I've had this kind of topic posted here. I think it's just fine what images you are going to convey about your relationship in the past, the negative or positive. In my opinion, we are not lack of positives or negatives. They are a solid combination and there was almost anything you can do about it and it's not such a great deal for us to deliver our state moment from the past. Living in a relationship is like traveling somewhere far away. You are sure what will happen on your journey but you could predict hundreds percent what is happening , and then when you knew that you were not right with it, you'd be very disappointed with yourself and then You asked why I've chosen this road?.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
26 Oct 11
I think that we tend to verbalize the negative memories of past relationships more so than the positives because we attribute the break-up to those negatives and when asked about past relationships, we almost immediately want to somehow justify the break-up through telling the tales of negativity. Sure, there were certainly good memories, but those were not why the relationship fell apart, so why share? At least, in my opinion, that is the most likely thought process when we talk about those past relationships. I think that it is important to at least silently remember those positive aspects and remember that even though the relationship eventually fell apart, it was not a relationship that was never full of happiness at all. I think it is even more important to remember the postive aspects, and to even verbalize them to a point, when there are children that were the product of that relationship. It is important that any children involved know and understand that even though the parents are no longer together, they were happy at one time.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
They say the easiest way to forget that someone is to remember the bad things. I am not saying that always remember the sad and bad things,but,if you really want to moved on...remember the sad things and it will help a lot than remembering the happy times. Pain is a helpful way to forget easier.
• China
25 Oct 11
As the saying goes:the distance produces beauty.When we close to our friends,we find their shortcomings more than their avantages.You greatly impress me that the time I feel fed up or quarrel with them ,I should think more about the thing why it went wrong instead of blaming my friends.Next time ,when there's troubles between I and my friends,I should remember what you say and cherish our friendship.