Disagreements... What do you do?

@mr_pearl (5037)
India
October 27, 2011 4:19am CST
Hello Dear Fellows... The myLot family has grown quite big. All of us keep posting things, sharing opinions, views etc... Let us suppose, some other user has disagreed with your views and reponded with his/her views which are absurd to you. You both, disagree with each other... What'd you do??? Would you drag on the argument by posting replies and fill up the page with arguments and stuff....???? OR Would drop it there and pick it up in PM??? Each of them is possible... Which would you select??? And Why????
8 people like this
34 responses
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
27 Oct 11
Oh Mr.Pearl, It is probably better to PM it if the person is a friend. I am guilty of going back and forth until I realize that the other person really isn't even trying to understand what I'm saying and I suspect not even reading what I've written and then I will walk away from it. It's not worth arguing over. This hits home as I just walked away from one such discussion. To each his own.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
HI Sid... PM is a good idea too, if the other fellow is a good friend. Then it is unnecessary to discuss things in public forum. But at the same time the audience misses something that can be learned... isn't it true??
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
30 Oct 11
yes, that's true, Mr. Pearl. It all depends on the argument. Sometimes the audience can get involved and make matters worse.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
Oh Yes, I know this one... The intruders! They mess up the entire thing sometimes, and unknowingly too... LOL.. I agree with this... So it will depend upon case-to-case thing...
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
27 Oct 11
Hi mr_pearl Well, quite right. With so many around and that too from all across the globe, chances of bumpiing into some disagreements are quite common and high. I normally avoid a few sets of discussions as I know none of us (me and the starter of the discussion) would budge their stand on such subjects. So there is not much of fun there. At all other places, I normally am humorous and rarely think anything bad of anything. My friends @mylot have been kind enough and more generous and with them I feel close to be the child that I am.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
28 Oct 11
Hi Sid.. Thanks for sharing buddy... Yeah, that is what I meant. With so many intelligent brains putting forward their thoughts on all the issues under the sun, we're prone to arguments. But it seems to me, you avoid some discussions, which you shouldn't do. The basic idea of myLot is to have a healthy discussion and if there are disagreements on things, they should come forward. So get into it without any hesitation... Good Luck! I have read a few posts of yours where you've been quite humorous and funny.. Which is certainly good, but myLot is more than that. Of course, it is not a compulsion, but still you can do it if you wish to widen your area of discussions...
1 person likes this
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Oct 11
Of course mr_pearl Mylot is one of the finest places I found on the Internet were I learn and grow each day. Widening the areas of discussions is quite good and in fact I do read a lot of those - just that I stay away from a few selected zones just to avoid confrontations. but still, if any of my friends starts a discussion, and I havent met or been on any of their discussions in the recent past, I do hop in, have a go. I feel safe and they too know, I may not have much idea.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
Oh yes Sid, this is one of the best site on the world wide web... We get to learn, share and earn- as a friend stated... I have been here for quite too long and never backed down when I found something to write about... Everyone should do that, because that way the discussions will remain healthy and happening... :) Good luck buddy.. tkae care..
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (12694)
• Delhi, India
27 Oct 11
Hello mr Pearl, This happens many time that people don't agree to OP but thats fair as everyone has their own mind and way of thinking and seeing things its not always necessary that people will agree to us. The thing is we should respect other's opinion also and think that diagreements also contibute in discussions. If i have an arguement with some other user i will argue with him/her till i think it to be a healthy arguement the moment i will smell that scene is getting heated up i will quit politely and won't do PMs too. Because this is a social site and people watch our activities so we should not be bad examples for them secondly we all here have come to have FUN not to fight or quarrel with each other so we should avoid heated arguements.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
28 Oct 11
Hello guys.. Thanks for adding value to the discussion.. I am glad too, to talk to two fellow Indians (your talk of Diwali) speaks that. SJVG.. I agree with you, one should back out when things start heating up... That keeps things clean on the site.. .Nice Idea...
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
27 Oct 11
Hullo mr.pearl! I would state my views but if there tends to be an argument I would clearly write " Every individual is entitled to an opinion. THere is no 'right or wrong' in subjective issues.Let us agree to disagree[however I would say this if someone makes a personal and not issue based remark.]
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hi Kalav.. Thanks for sharing... Yes, I agree with you that everyone is entitled to personal opinion and the right to express it... Disagreements are good when it leads to a healthy conversation, they are full of knowledge which conflicts with each other... :)
@Bluedoll (16134)
• Canada
27 Oct 11
Well this is excellent discussion and an example I think about discussions in general. I think it is better to agree on something in a discussion but not always or there would be little exchange of views. Sometimes we do disagree and often they are called arguments but arguments relating to philosophy, science, logic or even mathematics. You know 1+1=2 but if the other person says its not true it is 3 then that is an illegal argument. As far as dragging something on goes, I think that has to do with resolution and the adding on or not adding on of new points. Of course if there are personal remarks made, the continuation might be better done in pm's or the connection dropped. If a discussion can be allowed to go on with reasonably though to a finish who knows someone might actually learn something?
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
HI Doll.. Thanks for adding value to the discussion.. Your term 'exchange of view' is beautiful in itself.. Personal remarks come in picture when things go out of hand, I believe... e.g. taunting someone for lack of knowledge, which can happen only in extreme cases... Yes, it is true that one can learn a lot through these discussions... Thanks again!
@donsky14 (5964)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
Well we must always put in mind that this is a big community with members from different, country, race and age...so most likely our ideas would not coincide with each other. And when I get to that point where a myLot member disagrees with me, I think of that persons view and try to learn of something out of it..and I just let it pass.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
28 Oct 11
That is very well put... Yes, one can certainly learn a lot here as there are people from all over the world belonging to different nations, races, religions and what not! And if someone disagrees, I'll definitely try to find out if there is any good point in that... Thanks a lot!!!
@chiyosan (29389)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
No. There is no need to argue. I believe we all have to be sensitive of others and what they think about a certain topic. of course we should not impose what our beliefs or views are to others. if they get our point and realize it is correct then thank them. but if they oppose it, then its good to know that people do think and has given their interest in the same subject. :D
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
28 Oct 11
Hi.. Thanks for sharing... I too agree, it is not necessary to argue, it is even fruitless... But what if, I came up with facts and supported my argument with reason, then would you accept it? I agree with you that there is no point in proceeding if someone denies to see your point of view...
@arlerambabu (1080)
• India
27 Oct 11
I’ll stop the discussion, if the other person comes up with a really strong and solid proof. And I expect the other person does the same after seeing my solid proof. The purpose of a discussion is to see the ultimate truth surfaces.[b][/b]
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
28 Oct 11
Hi... Thanks for sharing... Thats a nice thing to say.... The other guy, came up with a solid and fact proof argument then I'll be compelled to verify the facts and if I found them true, then I'll go back to the discussion, like a good fellow and will admit that I was wrong.. :) So far, it never had happened to me, thankfully..
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
Well, I would probably lay all my arguments there and that would be it. Of course I would not threaten his life or something :D I think it's healthy to have some disagreements with your fellow myloter since that proves that our minds are working and we are creating ideas. Ideas that may be different from one another. I would not waste my strength to argue with him until he agrees on me. That would never happen. So I'd rather state to him what I believe. And listen to his arguments. Respect it. And leave it at that.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
28 Oct 11
Hi Lara, thanks for sharing... That is really wonderfully put! And I am sure, after reading your post most of us would be willing to what you do at disagreements... :) Yes, I agree that there is no point arguing. It is good to put forward the data... But would you put it right in the same discussion or would you send a message? Or does it depend upon something? Anyways, good work Lara... Thanks a lot!!!
@pergammano (7756)
• Canada
27 Oct 11
Good day, mr_pearl! I would always try and leave the discussion on a high note! To each his own, and it is not necessary for everyone in the world, to see the world thru my "rose-colored glasses!" What I am saying is my opinion DOES NOT have to be the one that counts! If at all possible, I would leave the discussion on a high note, hopefully interjecting a bit of humor, and hopefully let that person know, that even tho' I don't concur..I still respect their stance! Take care..and Cheers!
@thesids (22455)
• Bhubaneswar, India
27 Oct 11
Hi dear pergammano I would leave the discussion on a high note, hopefully interjecting a bit of humor This is what I learned here and this is one more reason I love your responses anywhere on MyLot. Have a great day
1 person likes this
• Canada
27 Oct 11
Good morning (at least here) my dear 'the sids'...yes, I am blushing, THANK YOU, THANK YOU...for the lovely words that made my morning sparkle! Puts a skip in my step..a song in my heart--when some-one is as kind as you are to start the day...!
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
28 Oct 11
Hi pergammano, thanks a lot for sharing... Your idea of leaving the discussion on a high note makes me feel that you're one of those 'royal' kind of people who don't indulge in arguments at all. I am somewhat like that, too. I wouldn't force anyone to swallow what I mean, and sometimes, I'd not even attempt to make someone understand what I mean... Thanks a lot...
1 person likes this
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
hi mr_pearl. as far as my mylot experience is concerned, i have not met a mylotter who did provoke me with their response to my opinion. and if there were then i did not mind them. i do not like heated arguments so what i do is to avoid that is to accept their opinion about the matter. everyone is entitled for their own opinions so i think there's no sense or need to pushing one's opinion to the other party. we all should be calm and never let petty misunderstanding ruin this great family.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hi ShaneMae.. Thanks for sharing.. I too haven't met a lot of such people.. But yes, there are a few.. .When provoked, I didn't write anything. I simply turned to other discussion and finished with that.. Then with a refreshed but a calm mind I returned and put forward my points and views, without being provocative... You say that you accept what others say, if someone disagrees with you... Is that right?? We are here to discuss things... With so many people in myLot family, it is quite natural that we should disagree upon some points. And we should not get into arguments over that, of course not! But in order to avoid arguments, is it okay to accept others' views, blindly??? Would not you put forward what you have got on that topic??
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
hi mr_pearl. thank you also. oh, i am sorry to give you that incomplete thought. i also do what you do like leaving the discussion hmm.. not only when someone disagrees my point but also when i do not understand their point i would leave that discussion and go back and read again after sometime. i do not accept things blindly. first i would clear things out like clear my view about the topic and then express acceptance for the views shared by others as we are entitled with our own opinions. this is to avoid arguments and maintain politeness. have you met someone here who does not accept disagreements mr_pearl? well i did and i decided not participate in the discussion cause by just reading the flow of discussions they had it kinda pissed me off. i hope this response made things clear mr_pearl.
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
by the way mr_pearl i am not the coward type who just accept and accept even if it opposes my point. i read/listen to what others has to say then weigh things with my opinion.in fact i have participated on discussions that i opposed to what the starter had said cause i think he/she should be cleared out with some points. i did it in the nicest way i could but not with the prior discussion that i told you since we shared opinion with one responder and the other was really insisting on his own point which pissed me off. i see both have points but i strongly believe the other was more righteous and because of that i did not participate in the discussion that might just turn out to be some heated arguments which i would really want to avoid.
@SIMPLYD (73924)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
Whenever i meet a response that strongly disagrees with me, i would tell him, i understand his/her stand, but would point out why i believe in what i say. But despite that, he/she would insist on his idea or belief, then that's the time i would say, i respect your opinion , thank you.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
HI SimplyD... Thanks for sharing.. You've put it wonderfully, but as our friend Lily says that are situations which require a little more attention too... E.g. Suppose it is your friend who disagrees with you and say so, in the discussion.. how'll you manage with that??? :)
@SIMPLYD (73924)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
I will once more explain my side and try to understand his/her stand too. But if she/he still insist on what she/he says, then i will end it with an emoticon of surrender.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
1 Nov 11
Haha... That is a nice way of ending it all.. Hoist the White flag and let the other imagine that he/she's won... LOL... Well, we can't try to convince a strong headed fellow, of course.. At such times, white flag is the best way... Thank you!! happy Lotting!!!
• United States
27 Oct 11
As long as it is on topic and it what is said isn't rude, I will keep it going until we reach the point when we Both agree to disagree. I had said one thing and two others took it the wrong way. And we went so off topic , All of it was deleted. So I went back said Exactly what I meant and the two didn't start up again.And recently I got into it with a member , a non friend. He took my thank you the wrong way. I explained it the best I could and he brought up agreeing to disagree! And I said sure.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
HI Sarah... He took your thank you in wrong way.. Did he misunderstand something? Wonder, how can someone get a thank you incorrectly??? I love this phrase... 'Agreeing to Disagree..' It has a lot to it, than one can find.. Thanks for sharing, old buddy.. Take care...
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Oct 11
He explained this way. the best response was His Thank You. So I should have said Your welcome. I said no. A best response says Way to Go or good Job. That is why I say thank you.And went on to say I will continue to say thank you . If he doesn't like it , don't respond to me. That's when he said let's agree to disagree. I agreed!
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
1 Nov 11
HAHA... Yes, best response is kind of an award that we get for our good work... I agree... :)
1 person likes this
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
Well, for me I always say what my opinion in all the discussion I have read and commented on... When the person did disagree with me. I will always kept posting to answer on what he/she say but when the argument is heated up and the person on the side something harsh on me. I will always look into other ways to cool off the other side... I don't want the argument will be a reason for someone else to hurt each other. Because I believe when we comments and exchange something...we learn. Because the purpose to be here is to learn, share and earn...
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
Very well put my friend... Thanks a lot... Yes, I agree we are here to learn, share and earn... How wonderful!!! I too get away when things start heating up.. That is the wisest move... Have a good day!
@aerous (13475)
• Philippines
5 Nov 11
Well, if you heated up into an argument. You lost earnings...if you cool to response you create good conversation and make money. Because you always response and make the other side interested in you... When you have post. He or She commented again because they know your good in responding to them...
@Rosa26 (2620)
• United States
28 Oct 11
I think that to be a real discussion have to have two parts, the part that believe in the statement and the part that don't believe and then that is when the discussion begin, of course a discussion is not to argue or fight is to discuss. Argue is to present reasons for or against a thing. To contend in oral disagreement; dispute. In this case I would express my opinion and why I think like that and if the person can discuss with respect I abandon the theme with that person and go to keep the discussion on with a person with the ability to understand that not body think or see the things the same way and we have to respect that. I would never do is to rate negative that person just because don't think like me, like some people do. In fact, if you disagree with a post, but still feel it positively contributes to the discussion, you should rate it positively. Rating quality content negatively will hurt your ratings overall. Remember differing opinions and viewpoints tend to make for the most interesting discussions.
@Rosa26 (2620)
• United States
29 Oct 11
People like won't change it doesn't matter what I say, then I would express that I am not agree and leave that person alone.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
HI Rosa.. You have pout it very wisely and descriptively, too... Thanks a lot for adding value here... Especially, your remarks about the rating system are worth a lot of praise... It requires a great heart to acknowledge the credibility of someone whom we disagree with... Hats off!!! Lily, you should have been a lawyer :).. The way you have put a question to our friend here, goes to show how you think from every aspect... I truly appreciate that!!! Thanks a lot!!!
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
30 Oct 11
There is a lot possible but the question is: why are you responding on a discussion? For me it's just to share my personal opinion. If someone is disagreeing with me or find me a stupid idiot that is fine with me. I can live with that. I only hope that person would also tell me why he/she thinks that about me. There are a lot of " statements" over here which are not a statement at all or never proved. I like to to read about other points of view. So my only question is: please take the time to tell why you disagree or why you find me stupid idiot. I won't get myself dragged into a discussion that easily and come with never ending arguments. I already learned that those who have a very strong opinion are seldom open for new arguments at all.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
31 Oct 11
Hi Kitty, thanks for sharing.. You really put it beautifully. I hardly think that anyone will think stupid of you.. No, far from that! You're really wise and no one will ever say anything like that about you... Have a good evening!
@khare_1005 (1311)
• India
30 Oct 11
well i would chose on none.i don't like arguing with people here so i'll quickly move away from the discussion without posting any further response if i see that the discussion is heating up.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hi Friend.. Thank you for sharing.. I admit that there are people who dislike the arguments... We are not talking about them either.. The whole idea behind myLot is discussions... There are different point of views on different subjects, in such cases, we don't need to argue with fellow lotters, but we can definitely put forward the facts and data and our thoughts, can't we??? Let me know how you think about it.. :) Happy Lotting!!!
@aghiuta (526)
• Canada
28 Oct 11
How about agree to disagree and leave it at that.Everybody has their own opinion about things.Sometimes they are not ready to change it, and neither are you.So each person is convinced they are right.In a case like this just move on....
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
HI Aghiuta.. Thanks a lot for sharing.. Yes, I agree with you... Sometimes, situation gets so tough that one has leave with the disagreements only... But we strive, here at myLot, to express our views fully without offending anyone.. Without getting into an ugly argument, it is possible to let others know what you think about something.. .right?
@deliar (609)
• Indonesia
28 Oct 11
i think i dont have to angry with this,, difference being us in unity. so if my argument different with the others, i will try accept it and try to find which one is the best. so i will get advantage from the difference of argument.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hi deliar, thank you for sharing... I agree with you.. It is good to see others' point of views and try to understand them... That adds something to our knowledge.. :) Thank you again..
@nitin_hec (1098)
• India
28 Oct 11
I would surely argument but healthy. If still other person will not agree with me, I would quit discussion rather than using abusive language.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
30 Oct 11
Hi Nitin.. I see your point of view and let me tell you that most of the members here agree with you.. I too agree with what you have said.. Thanks a lot!!!