Do you like to be away from parents during their old age?

@alienstar (5137)
India
October 27, 2011 11:25pm CST
There are many people in this world who doesn't like to be with their parents in their old age as many say that it is a torture to be with them attending to their daily problems as health problems during these times will be very much.But in our country, most of them do take care of their parents standing as support attending to all their needs.As we are here because of our parents,it is our duty to be with them in their hours of need isn't it? don't you think so?
4 people like this
15 responses
@allknowing (55080)
• India
29 Oct 11
That is a wrong notion. No child (with the exception of a very few)would want their parents left alone to die. Let us look at those children who love their parents very much but are helpless. Many come in this category. There are no prospects for these children to stay where their parents live and many a time parents themselves encourage their children to leave the shores seeking greener pastures. With economy being as it is there is no other go. How would you expect these children to care for their parents?
1 person likes this
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
Your view is completely meaningless as you feel that because of economy, one is not able to take care of their parents.You can stay alive with this bad economy or global crisis and you cannot make your parents alive these times ! times will never change.Even when you were young, parents have faced many difficulties in their life to keep you happy which you are not aware of.Jut to meet your demand, they have sacrificed lot of their happiness and now you are saying that bad economy is not letting you to take care of your parents is not excusable
@allknowing (55080)
• India
29 Oct 11
This is my pet subject and am doing a lot of research to pinpoint the pathetic conditions seniors are in today. First and foremost each family consists of just about 2 kids these days and with the encouragement from parents they seek their future leaving their shores. And these children have their own family and a job to take care of. They cannot leave their job and stay with their parents. In this scenario what would be your suggestion?
1 person likes this
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
There has to be sacrifice of some sort or the other as even their parents have sacrificed a lot just to keep their children happy and also to meet their heavy demands and don't you think a little bit of sacrifice of some sort will help their parents to live happily at this old age.You have made some valid points here and i also agree to those to some extent and i feel adjustments can be done to keep your parents happy.
@gicolet (1704)
• United States
28 Oct 11
I loved my parents. Me and my siblings tried our best to be by their side until the very end of their lives. However I do not expect the same from my children. Someday if I will grow weak and old and sickly I am open-minded enough to think that it's just how it is. My children are good kids and I try my best to teach and guide them about what's right and wrong. If for some reasons they can not be there to take care of me in a "daily" basis I would understand it. I don't expect them to drop everything because of me. I don't expect them to stop their life because of me. That would be selfish. It would be nice for them to offer to take care of me but it is also ok for me to be in an elderly home. I also don't believe that I'm a bad parent to someday worry that they will not come and visit me there often. Besides who wants to hang out with an old lady? I've had my years with my kids so I might need a break too. Take me away to the elderly home as long as i take my computer with me so i could continue mylotting. hahahaa...
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
you have a different view here.But if yous ay that you will be happy living away from your children in your old age, i think you are lying as i don't think any old person will feel this way.may be if you feel these worst things might happen to anybody including you, then you are preparing to keep yourselves to face the situation for your old age future.i am talking on all youngsters to be with their parents in their old age
@gicolet (1704)
• United States
30 Oct 11
Excuse me? You think i was lying with my statement here? WTH would I lie? I'm as honest as hell whenever I post something here on mylot. I've experienced visiting my husband's grandma before in an elderly home. It was sad but eventhough she wasn't being taken care of by her family, but by nurses around we never forgot about visiting her to show her we cared. The love was still there. Just because you believe what you believe in does NOT mean I have to do the same if I'm not up to it. I have my own opinion and beliefs and I'm not forcing you to believe in them but you are crossing the line by calling me a liar. I have no reason to lie here cause I don't know anybody personal on mylot. I don't see the need to make YOU happy by agreeing with you. I meant what I've said here except for the last part as I was just joking cause I don't think i could really bring my computer in an elderly home. lol but goodluck when you reach your old age.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
30 Oct 11
Sorry if i have hurt your feelings or if you feel i have misunderstood you.I really feel for you and for all those elderly people who are suffering and everybody are not as strong as you are and they will not be able to accept the facts which might happen later on.I have read many stories of elder people suffering and since i am a very sensitive person i cannot digest these things and feel very bad.There has to be some way so that old people don't suffer.Hope things will turn positive in future
@SIMPLYD (74777)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
Here in the Philippines, the people takes care of their parents in old age. We feel it is our obligation to return the love and care they gave us, when we were still growing until we are responsible enough to have families of our own. Some of us with our own family, even chose to live with our parents, since we feel that they should have company as they grow old, to take care of them. Some would live nearby so that it would just be easy to check on how our parents are doing by themselves in their own house. Some would get them to live with us in our homes. That's how we love our old parents.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
I feel so nice to hear such words from you and may god bless to all of you people who have these feelings in your place and do their duty to their loving parents.I always had a dream of joint family and i am still with my parents and love to be with them till their end.But i do feel depressed on hearing some disturbed stories from outside as parents are left alone to suffer and even if they fall sick, there will not be anyone to take care.how ignorant those people are who are separated form their parents
@SIMPLYD (74777)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
People who do that to their parents are heartless. And things such as this will really make those people who love parents even in their old age, really sad. But they will , during their old age will suffer the same fate.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
31 Oct 11
They are cruel people no doubt in that.But let us not curse them with the same thing what they have done in their life.Probably they will realize it at some point of time in their life.If the realize it sooner its better.BUt we should not pray for bad things for anyone and i don't think we will have peace thinking about bad things to happen to them
• India
28 Oct 11
I do agree with you friend we have to take care of our parents as they took all the responsibility from our childhood. We have to take care of them when they are sick. Especially when our parents get retairment from there jobs they want to spend all the time with their children. hence we have give some time to our parents even though we are very busy.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
28 Oct 11
Parents are next to god i can say as they are the sole responsible person to what we are today.Parents were there in all our need when we were younger attending to all our problems then.You are right in all aspects as we have to take our responsibility regarding our parents and or else even god will not forgive us.I feel everybody should be like this all over the world and especially in most of the western countries where parents are left alone
• Bangladesh
28 Oct 11
I do agree with both of you.I will always be with my parents.I will take care of them as they took care of me when I was a child.Its our duty as a child.We should give them time and do as much as possible,once they will left us,we will never get time to see them and we can not never return their love and deeds that they do in their whole life for us.They sacrifice a lot for us,so its our time to do some thing for them as a child. Blessing
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
Well said as we will not be getting to see our parents even if we wish to once they leave this world for ever.It is enough if we all understand that parents have sacrificed a lot in our life and in return we have to look after them in their old age when they are needing us and then only we can make our life more meaningful.We have to take time for our parents as they did for us and keep them happy till they are with us
@ferbjohn69 (1129)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
I will stay with my parents when they are older.I will support them when they can hardly walk.I will guide them when their eyes are already blurry.I will hug them when the nights are cold.I will love them wholeheartedly even if everyone has left. They are the reason why I am here,and that won't be paid by any amount.Even if I work for them my whole life long I will still not be able to pay the love and life they gave me. I will take care of them until their last breath so they will pass away happily. I love them a lot.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
Keep this feeling with you til the end and god will be there with you as parents are next to god and you also treat them like that.Never ever disappoint your parents in their old age as this is the time they need you the most.I salute you for your kind loving words and my eyes are watering reading these lovely lines.You are great in your own way and you will be blessed and don't worry.As far as possible try to convince other people who are ignorant.You have really put in right words here which is worth reading again and again.Keep it up
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
Yes.i really love them a lot.I will do for them especially for my mom.
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
hi there alienstar! i would not want to leave my parents when they get old too! it would pain me to leave them suffering from old age. here also in our country we attend to our old parents. a way of showing how grateful we are for raising us properly. i believe also that it is the best thing to let them feel they are loved and we are grateful for the things they have done for us. and also who would want to be left alone when we get old? none right? so if possible never do things which you do not want others do unto you. i stick to the Golden Rule.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
what we give we will get in return.Do good and you will get good returns and this is the principle of life.But if you do good to someone and expect returns from same people, you might get disappointed and so you do your duty and don't do any bad things to others and leave the other hings to god and good things will happen to you.parents have taken care of you and it is your duty now and don't disappoint your parents in their need
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
that is absolutely true!
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
When our parents grow older, it is the duty of their children to take care of them. When we were still young, our parents took care of us and provided us with all our needs and so, as they age, it is our turn to help them. It's like we're returning the favor being given. Parents are still family and even though we get married in the future, we still have an obligation to care for them.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
Not everyone will understand this line of taking care of their old age parents as the feel bored in staying with their old helpless parents which is irritating to them as they cannot bare all those talks and also their appearance as they just cannot face it.The feel ashamed of showing them to their friends even just because they are old which is ridiculous
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
I agree. Most people would not want to help them because first of all, they are ashamed of them. I don't know why. They are still their parents. That is indeed very ridiculous.
• India
28 Oct 11
I do not agree to that worst tendency.middle age is the period when parents wants our hand support.they spends their whole life to make a living to us.but at last we shun and avoid them.they are very thirst to get the love from their belongings that time.they also deserve it.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
when you take care of them see how proud they feel on having children like you nad they may also express these things with other people around when time comes and feel happy for feeling their happiness and get involved in their happiness and world will be a happy world for you.spread the word love throughout and we all hope people will have sense in living with their parents in their old age and not leave them and suffer alone
@sjvg1976 (13786)
• Delhi, India
28 Oct 11
Hello Alienstar, I always would like to be with my parents forever not only when they become old.Its our duty to be with them when they become old and weak.But recently i have seen lot of people leaving their parents in old age home as they find their old parents burden for them.They forget that if their parents would have abondoned them when they were born thinking to be burden on them may be they would not be in this world.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
Saying is always easier and when the time comes it will be testing time for us isn't it? but since you are very strong in your views, i am happy that you will support your parents.take care of them and love then for what they are and only because of them you are here in this beautiful world and thank god also for giving us an opportunity to live in this beautiful world
@siri26 (331)
• India
28 Oct 11
Yes. We need to be with our parents in the old age. Being their children we need to give our support during their old age as they gave support to us during our childhood. it's our responsibility to take care of them. What ever we are and wherever we are only because of them.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
tell your friends and encourage people who have other feelings to change their views and make them stay with their parents.sometimes i do feel that these people who do not take care of their old parents are really sick and needs to be treated in a proper way and may be by making them attend seminars on these subjects or any other methods where they might change for better
@nitin_hec (1098)
• India
28 Oct 11
Its duty of child to take care their old parents as just like parents did when their child were kid. But I think now a days what happening is that children take lesson from their parents. As their parents also been away from their parents.
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
To see the records, i feel people of western countries move out of their house at quite early stage of their life and this is really bad and these people who has already moved out to live their independent life will not even come back to see their parents to look after them as i keep reading such stories and mostly from western countries as i heard, which is really a bad trend and i feel things will change and those people will realize the mistakes they are doing in their life
@vasumathi (438)
• India
28 Oct 11
Generally i dont like people, who leave their parents at the old age home. This is the biggest sin in one's life. I want to stay with my parents during their old age. We should also treat them respectfully
@alienstar (5137)
• India
28 Oct 11
Old age is lot of respect because of what they have learn throughout their life span and we also get to learn many things in our life also being with them. Many people don't realize this and disrespect them and harm them during those helpless times.I feel bad and tears do role out hearing to such stories of harsh people around the world who are selfish characters living life as they like and without caring for others feelings or whatsoever and is really really horrible
@padu19 (1441)
• India
28 Oct 11
I don think anyone will like to stay away purposely. I am from India and most of them take good care of their parents. But sadly, the count of old age homes are also increasing. This shows how the generation gap has been discouraging people from staying together. Both parents and children are becoming adamant in their viewpoints. I do agree with you.. It is our 'duty' to take care of our parents. We owe them a lot for all the care they have given us and for those sweet sacrifices, which no one else in Earth would for us!!!
@alienstar (5137)
• India
29 Oct 11
There are many people who do not wish to stay with their parents in their old age just because they do get irritated by seeing their elders become stubborn at times and more demanding and you should understand that even you were like this at your younger age when parents used to tolerate you and fight to meet all your demands.They used to take care of us and we have to take care of them in the same way for sure and this is what god will say and will love to see
@Seisho7 (172)
• Indonesia
28 Oct 11
No I don't. I must protect and care they like they care me when I was young
@wulania (1528)
• Indonesia
28 Oct 11
in my country, people live with parents. usually the last kids. i live with my motherin law