My close friend stole my boyfriend

Philippines
October 29, 2011 10:33pm CST
My close friend for almost 8 years was in love with my boyfriend even before without me knowing and that after 3 years of relationship with that guy, he unknowingly broke up with me without any closure and I just found out that they are together! If you were on my place, how will you react?
7 people like this
29 responses
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Whoa. Then she's not a friend after all. It's sad that she turned her back on your friendship just because of a guy whom she doesn't even know if he would stay with her forever. These kinds of friends do not deserve any love from you. If I were you, I would begin deleting her in my Facebook account and so as in my life. You will find a better friend than her so cheer up.
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
you're definitely right lara!
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
So true Lara! I'm starting now to get rid of anything that gives us connection, both of them. But that close friend was my high school and college classmate, so I don't know how we can not meet again when the reunion part comes. :))
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Maybe by that time you already have found a better man that would love you faithfully. I'm thinking, maybe you could brag about him in her face and make her realize how much of a better person you are than her. That would surely irritate her. Or you could just ignore her. Hehe :D
@Dassodils (2013)
• India
30 Oct 11
Haiii dear friend Gagagaohlala...I am very sad to know your bad experience..Now you got a clear picture on the all people..The most people in this world will cheat us for their on achievements..I had an experience before one week from my sweet brother.But it was an accident..In any way, it is very tough to face and overcome such situation. I think you should avoid them from your life..And a nice person is waiting for you...You will suddenly meet that person...Relax first..God rescued you from a big danger..Did you married that person,They will keep that relation secretly...So you escaped from that type of fraud Thank you friend.... May god give you the courage to face the problems in future.... Be positive & happy always... ALL THE BEST..... :-
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
Hey Dassodils, Wow that's so lovely of you to say such things ;) Thank you and now I am slowly healing deep within. :) God bless! :D All the best. :D
@Dassodils (2013)
• India
1 Nov 11
Wit for a good person.... Thanks friend.... All the best... B-)
@dsc555 (6)
• India
30 Oct 11
Love is not possessiveness . You have to drop the idea of possessiveness . If you want to freedom, you have to give freedom .
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
I'm sorry but I am not possessive. And I have given freedom already. What I just posted is how to react and dealing on such kind of pain after being cheated.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
That would be one of the most shocking news in my life. On the other hand,I will be grateful to know the truth as early this time. That would be worst if,after marriage this thing happen. I know it hurts...it's painful,but somehow a relief for you. They are not worth your love and affection. Moved on and you will find your destiny soon.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
Thank you so much Jaiho. I can see different comments here coming from women and men and each perspective between opposite sides are surely different! :) You know how we women react to these kind of emotional dilemma. ;) I am grateful that I knew it earlier than later for it'd be harder for me to recuperate from the pain. :)
@WakeUpKitty (8707)
• Netherlands
30 Oct 11
I can only say this to you: your close friend did not steal anything from you. If your boyfriend was really your boyfriend, if he felt that way, if you were the only one for him, he never left. That this was able just means he was not sure about the relationship with you and your best friend was an escape way. I find it weird you blame your best friend instead of your ex boyfriend or asking yourself why he left. What part of the relationship between the two of you was not good enough. He would have done that anyway.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
You know when someone gets something from you slowly without any hints? I can call that stealing. Did you just say why not blame my ex or myself? Of course, I would tritely blame my once close friend because she was the one making moves to attract my ex. I would definitely not accuse someone wrongly of something she didn't do but I did, so I was sure she was the one who's supposed to be blame above all. She knew all along we were in a relationship, the entire years we were together.
• India
30 Oct 11
I will just avoid both i.e best friend and boy friend forever. I am very sorry about you friend. Hurting from boy friend may be excusable but if a friend breaks your heart and becomes the reason for your break up it will be very painful..Just try to forget this even though it is not easy.. Try to be happy my friend...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Thanks Anusha! Ignoring both is the best thing to do. Truly if a guy breaks a heart, it is painful but can be forgotten in the long run for he can always be replaced. But it's a different story when a friend breaks your heart, it's the TRUST you have in her that is ruined. And I believe, she may be forgiven, but the pain she gave can never be forgotten.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Hi gagagaohlala! (wow that's a hard name) =P First of all, 8 years is not just a few years. It must mean that you and your friend really know each other very well. Since you've been her friend for that very long time, you must surely know her personality. Is she the kind of girl who steals guys away from somebody else? You must that in the first place. If she is indeed that kind, you should have seen that as a red flag at the beginning. And for your boyfriend, you've been together for 3 years. Good thing he is still just your boyfriend before you found out. Worse will be if you got married to him. I know you are feeling betrayed right now and that your confidence took a big hit. Just keep away from these people and step by step, try to move forward with your life. You've been in this situation so there is nowhere else to go but out. There is surely somebody better for you. A lot better. I hope you feel okay soon. :)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
*edit: You must KNOW that in the first place.
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Hi girl_thinking, Thanks for the response! :) I knew her as the quiet, shy type who never has the outgoing personality type. I was the one who introduced her to my circle to be friends with her so she can open up her world and enjoy herself as well. I never saw that coming since she also had a boyfriend for 3 years too, who was also my friend. I believe I was good to her and being treated this way in return wasn't expected. ;) I now know what kind of person she is, and that's what is important. :)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
please see my comment under Laratecson..
@nurseclare (2210)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
this is crap and all so sh_t of your close friend.She dont deserve to be called as friend. If this happens to me then I will surely FREAK OUT and talk to my ex boyfriend and friend, they maybe cheating before our break up. This is mess and I hope i will NOT EXPERIENCE this one. But i almost lost my boyfriend because of a new found friend, he seduced my boyfriend and provided him load and called him,Thank GOD he was rejected by my boyfriend. I am sure I am prettier than the b_i_t_c_h_!
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Indeed, she doesn't deserve my friendship after all the goodness I gave her. The thing is she keeps on insisting me that she hasn't done anything bad ;) You are blessed nurseclare to have such a faithful boyfriend. Don't trust anyone though, trust yourself and trust your instincts. It's never easy to be cheated. :) Thanks for the reply. :D God bless!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
You are so behind my back, tapping and encouraging me to move on and I thank you for that! :D God bless us! :D
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Nov 11
yes gagaga(funny name though) i know you'll be doing just well..I wish you the best,, and hey, hows your heart today?
• India
8 Nov 11
This is just what i think. I never have any girlfriend. First of all this sounds pretty odd, that BOYFRIEND is a thing can be stolen, but yeah could be as you said. What ever, you should have to discuss with that guy and may be you will have something output instead of just passing life without asking him. You know what, if you don't asks him now or later then in future it is obvious that you will execrate yourself by mean of you had a chance to get him back but you didn't. Yeah, it is possible that he would not accept you but at least you won't sorrowed of of doing nothing. |may be my English is bad, Try to understand. I am sorry for that|
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
Nah, like what I've told in the past posts, I've already wanted to talk to both of them and ask them each for the truth and closure but they never gave the time to do so..so you can't blame me that I didn't because I have done it. It was them who didn't give me the chance to know the reasons. I'm already over them anyway, the best thing to do distance myself from them. :)
• India
10 Nov 11
Ok! it means from your side everything was forgivable but nothing got happened and hence you are gonna keep distance off them. That is surely better for you, you might have better lesson from this and may be you will be careful while proceeding further in your life. My best wishes to you to have your next date very soon...good time!
• Philippines
17 Nov 11
Thanks Mayur! God bless!
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
1 Nov 11
Hi Gagagaohlala, Welcome to Mylot! Well, first off, no one can STEAL anyone away from anyone. It takes two to pull of a deciet like this one. Your boyfriend could have refused but he didn't. I'm sorry this happened to you because I know it must hurt but your boyfriend was not the guy you thought he was. And as for your friend? She is no friend at all. A good friend would never have acted on any feelings she may have had for your boyfriend out of respect for you. You deserve better and those two are not worth your time worrying about them.
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
Thanks for the welcome. Mylot has so many people who give great advice and hand out concerns to acquaintances ;) And you're one of those, thanks! :D
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
1 Nov 11
Your Welcome! I agree with you...this is a great place and kind of addicting too. I hope to see you around on other discussions! I'm sure you'll have no problem fitting in and feeling right at home. Take care and have a great day!
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
Hi there! =) How long has it been that you are know broken up with this guy? I would really tell you that you should just let them be. you do not deserve a traitor friend and a cheating boyfriend for that matter. You are in a much better place and position now. Pray all the time, and ask God to guide you, be with people who are always positive and would bring you good influences. When you are ready, find it in your heart to forgive them. Then you can forgive them, you may or may not to tell them about it, its up to you. but it should free you from all the pain and hurts you must have to go through now. My prayers are with you sister.
• Philippines
20 Nov 11
Thank you for all the advise sis! You know how it feels when someone gives out advice that helps you elevate your feelings? It feels great and that's how people here in Mylot, including you, gives to me. Again, thank you and have a great day Chiyosan!
@345042441 (130)
• China
16 Nov 11
I am very sorry for what happened to you. Try to forget it and forgive them which will make them more uncomfortable. Dont live your life in the hate; it will ruin you. She is not worth your friendship but i think love is really selfish, so just forgive them. I know how much it hurt, one is your boyfriend, and the other is your best friend. How can you forget it and forgive them? But indeed you can, and once you make it, you will find the right guy for you by when when you look it back you will find its really not a big deal.
• Philippines
17 Nov 11
Thanks for the response! I truly appreciate it when people empathize of how I feel with this kind of situation and it makes me feel that I'm not alone, and there is always a chance for changes. Thanks!
@joni1215 (394)
• United States
11 Nov 11
I would say that you are better off without him. I know you may not see this right now but in time I hope you do. And they both will get what they deserve for this. It never works to leave someone for someone else. And they end up doing the same thing to that person. Yes, as others have told you I would ignore them both and if you do run into them just smile. Keeps them guessing. Take care and be happy.
• Philippines
12 Nov 11
I feel good after hearing people like you saying those to me and it could only mean that even as strangers, you care. Thank you so much for the suggestions, and it's surely what I would do. Be happy too Joni, we all deserve it! :) God bless!
@tammytwo (4304)
• United States
8 Nov 11
I would move on without either one of them in my life. Apparently, she wasn't really much of a friend. If she were she would have never gotten with someone who you dated for more than three years. You're probably better off without both of them.
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
Hey there tammytwo! Thanks for the comment. ;) It's great to have you guys supporting and seeing my situation in a positive note and giving out such noteworthy comments and suggestions! I'll surely be doing those, thanks and have a good day! :D
• Philippines
5 Nov 11
That really sucks. I'm sorry to hear that, friend. That is very wrong of your friend to betray your trust. I can't imagine experiencing this myself. But if I did, I will cut the ties with both of them. I doubt though if they could stay happily together. Since they started their relationship in a rather unscrupulous way, one or both of them will eventually become paranoid that the other would leave or cheat in the future. Now that you've seen their true colors, leave them and move forward. You deserve better friends and a better boyfriend.
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
Hey seriousnuts, thanks for the comment. I was exactly feeling all that you're saying. I know their time will come too, and I believe in karma. Have a nice day! :)
@hot21nc (46)
• United States
5 Nov 11
let it go. that just let me know he was not a good guy for you anyway. i would never talk to my girls friends. they have tried but i always said no and told her.do not say anything to theem and do show no type of expressions when you see them. let them think they didnt bothr you at all. but one thing you can cout on for sure. her turn is coming to as well as his. the bible says you will reap what you sow. good or bad.
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
Thanks for the comment hot21nc. I'm getting better now and the feeling is amazing.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
I'd punch them both in the face(as many times as possible). It doesn't help much though.
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
Well yah, if only hitting someone is not a sin, I would have done it to my ex. ;)
@adhyz82 (36289)
• Indonesia
31 Oct 11
i think it`s bad...iam really sorry for your experience.. but you must ask for your self....why your boyfriend love your friend?? whats the shortcoming of your self so your boyfriend prefer to choose your friend than choose you??
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
I've already asked myself those and all I could think of is I've not done anything wrong majorly. And it was my close friend who lit the fire, and most of my friends could attest to that.
• United States
31 Oct 11
I'm so sorry about that, I don't know what I will do in that situation but I will be pissed and hurt. I will have absolutely nothing to do with neither one of them because both of them are trifling. The best friend he was cheating with wasn't a good friend after all and as far as the boyfriend he wasn't all that into you in the first place because if that man was in love with only you, he wouldn't be thinking about nobody else especially one's best friend. Good luck you hon, you deserve better.
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
MrsBone344, Pissed and hurt are the right words that could describe what I felt knowing I've been cheated. The worse feeling is that it's one of my close friends who did that to me..Thanks! God bless you!
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
30 Oct 11
gagagaohlala ..wow I am sorry..that is the story movies are made of. I would feel betrayed..twice. You didn't suspect anything in the 3 years you were going with him.? I am sorry..this must be painful for you. I think you need to try to just move on..it's too bad to lose freindships but for the time being I think it is the best for you. Good luck
• Philippines
1 Nov 11
:D