I'm so excited.

@bagarad (12868)
Paso Robles, California
November 6, 2011 2:19pm CST
I found most of my old writing I thought I'd lost forever. Actually, I thought I had thrown it out so no one would ever find it. And maybe I should have thrown it out because if found it could hurt people I love. It covers a rough period of my life that I wish now had never happened, but it is part of me, for better or worse. I think I kept it so that I would remember how I thought and felt back then. So now I have back my diaries, journals, and early poetry. The question is, where should I keep them so no one will see them but me? I used to keep them at my mom's with the instruction to toss them should I die. I want them accessible to me, but no one else. My mom died, and I thought I'd tossed them, then, but I guess I just wasn't able to. What might you have found you thought you'd lost forever? Did it still seem as valuable after you had it back?
8 people like this
23 responses
@joni1215 (394)
• United States
6 Nov 11
My first thought would be a bank safety deposit box. Other than that maybe a safe. You know sometimes we are too protective of those around us and we do them an injustice by not letting them know how we feel because, they never have the opportunity to learn the lesson that goes with all of that. I have found stuff I wrote and wondered who was this person!
4 people like this
@joni1215 (394)
• United States
7 Nov 11
Well, I guess you could take an old book and shell the inside and hide it in there. Or find a place in the floor or behind a wall and put in something and hide it there. Or, you could take the back off an old picture and redo it in there. You could scan it onto your computer and hide the file and password protect it. Or you could destroy it. Sounds like that might be the best option. You apparently don't need to reference it any longer or you would have known where it was. I think that might be the thing to do.
• United States
6 Nov 11
In a Bank's Safe Deposit box. that way they will be fireproof And out of the hands of prying eyes.If not in a bank than in a steel box that locks and only you have the key. I believe there are thesetype of boxes at staples.com.
3 people like this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
6 Nov 11
But then I wouldn't have them when I want to look at them myself, in the middle of the night, when I write. I may do a preliminary read-through and throw out what isn't as good as I remember. What's amazing is how my hand-writing has deteriorated since I was 30 and even more since I got the computer.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Nov 11
Is there a place in your house where you know about but Hubby doesn't? A dry safe place? Put them there! That way they are safe And accessible . I totally understand about your penmanship. My handwriting was that great to start with but now? I just print so I can read it! I think it is because we use it less. Back in the day we Had to Write things down. Now we can type it in!
1 person likes this
@ajpa23 (92)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
Or you can put it in a secret compartment in your cabinet. If you don't have one, you can make one. I've tried it. I usually put my diary and my story ideas there. You could also put it together with your books/magazines. It's like reverse psychology. Hiding it without literally hiding. Works as well.
1 person likes this
@katcarneo (1442)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
It's a good thing that you found them! As a diarist myself, I keep a lot of notebooks, journals and random pieces of paper where I've written things. Keep them because looking back on your thoughts and feelings in the past can be somehow helpful, no matter how dark that past may be. Where to put them? Well mine are just in one box and fortunately for me having someone else stumble onto them is unlikely. Maybe you can store yours in a box as well, with a lock. I am suddenly reminded of my journals covering most of my teenage life (13-17) which I all burned before I ran away from home when I was 17. I really, really wish I didn't do that. About the thing that I thought I lost forever, that would be a couple hundred photographs that disappeared when an online photo storage account of mine suddenly disappeared. They were all on Photobucket, and suddenly my account did not exist. I was unhappy for weeks and then thought about accepting it. Then, one time I looked into an old Multiply account of mine which I hadn't opened for a long time. The photographs were there! I had forgotten that I used this photobucket feature where my photographs were copied into my Multiply account. So now I have a the photos back and I had them copied in several places.
3 people like this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
6 Nov 11
Where I found the old journals, I also found several photo albums with pictures I've been looking all over for. I had wanted them before writing up my church reunion last September. It's wonderful to find such treasures.
@katcarneo (1442)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
Photographs are such great treasures, especially the old ones when there weren't digital cameras yet. We could only take limited numbers of pictures and so they're really special. But I also like it now that we can take pictures by the hundreds and store them digitally.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
6 Nov 11
Wow, that is a tough one. I guess I am the kind of writer that if I can't share it, whether freely or have it published, it isn't something I would keep. I guess if I were you, I would put all my writing on a flash drive and maybe find a safe place to put it, either in a safe or a safe deposit box.
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
6 Nov 11
I don't know when I'd have time to put it on a flash drive, since it's not in the computer in any form now. Of course, all of it isn't so confidential and it wouldn't matter if that were found.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Nov 11
I don't know how many pages you have, but my novel, which I have cut down tremendously (and still needs cutting from 80,000 words) was originally written on notebook paper. But over time, most of it once a week at the library for a few hours a week, I typed it up and saved it on my flash drive..I felt it was worth it because my hand writing stinks for one and for two, the errors are easily and cleanly corrected.
1 person likes this
@Rosa26 (2620)
• United States
6 Nov 11
I think you should sacn them and save it in the computer in a hidden folder, or create a file that you rename so only you can see it. I haven't find anything that makes m remember my past and that I don't want anybody see it, and if that would be the case I just burn it.
3 people like this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
6 Nov 11
If I decide it will have no use in my current writing, I will burn it or shred it.
@thatgirl13 (7307)
• South Korea
7 Nov 11
When I was in junior high, we had this ritual like thing going on where everyone had a diary and everyone of their friends and teacher wrote some good/silly stuffs to the owner of the diary. It was fun then, I just forgot what it was called. Anyway it was couple years ago and last summer as I was cleaning up my room, I found it. I had completely forgotten about it. I read it through and had lots of memories come back and i felt kinda nostalgic at the same time. And gosh my handwriting was somuch better before
2 people like this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
I can't believe how bad my handwriting is compared to that in those journals. I guess handwriting was just more important then. During those years I also wrote a lot of handwritten letters. Those are what I really wish I still had, but they have been burned or destroyed by the recipient.
• South Korea
7 Nov 11
I used to write lots of letter too. I loved writing them and I still do sometimes. But I somehow don't really know where they are anymore. Maybe somewhere in my room or thrown away.
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
Hi Barb! That's really a good find! I remember the time when I found my old diaries which contain my deepest secrets. I was happy to found it and reading them again really gave me a good time and good laughs. But most of it were embarrassing, those were the days of my youths. I decided to burn a lot of them but I kept some of it just for souvenirs. I keep it in my closet, buried in a box, and I always keep my closet locked whenever I go out.
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
Right now mine are in a closet that's pretty hard to get to. It has no door, but all kinds of stuff is stored in front of it, so I doubt if anyone will find it until they have to clean everything out of here when I'm gone. So far my husband hasn't bothered to read the boxes of letters his parents wrote each other and got from other family members. I'd read them if I understood the language, but I don't. I'll bet there's great writing material there, since they lived through a lot of history. MIne don't have any historical value but to me. As long as I never run for political office, I doubt if anyone will care much about my private life outside my family.
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
Wow. That's really interesting! What language did your husband's parents used in their letters?
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
I do keep my old diaries.I find them even more valuable than before. It reminds me of how I was able to overcome the trials and difficulties I had and the of God's faithfulness everlasting and unconditional love. It is a treasures to keep because it is part of myself, my experience and my life. No matter how ugly or how sad it was, I like to re-read them. As I try to do that, there are some insights I get from it. It's like -retracing my life before and learning from it . It actually helps me to become a mature person and helps me understand myself better. Whenever, there are similar situation at present, I know how to handle it with stability, objectivity and calmness. From time to time, I read them and I enjoy reading it again and again. I even think of publishing it especially the poetry, the quotes, the drawings and paintings. Why not have it published with some revisions that would be appealing to the readers.
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
I had thought of that, but it would be too hard to disguise the characters and still tell the story. The poems just aren't good enough to publish. And I can't write fiction.
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
just use pseudonyms in your characters and change a bit the settings. I have one poem published in the International Library of Poets and they gave me a copy of the book where it was published :-)
1 person likes this
• Singapore
6 Nov 11
Hi bagarad, If those were just writings, no illustrations or pictures, you can get it transfered online in a secret blog. When I went through a rough period in my life, I blogged about it but no one could read it except for me. It was not available online. I'm thinking of what to do with it as well. My story could be written in a novel. But since the affected people are still alive, it may not be a good idea, unless I use a different name. I did ever tell a friend that if I ever get through this rough patch, I would write about it. The tough times are over and I have yet to write my book. I think it would be painful reliving the moments. I guess I'm not ready yet. I guess there are some things others can learn from my situation and in future, if I have the resources I would set up a support group for these people like me. Such support groups are seriously lacking here because the topic is taboo. I know because I was looking for one. I eventually found one but it is now closed.
2 people like this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
I'm not sure how taboo my secrets were; I did tell a couple of real friends. In the end, they were the ones who helped solved the problem. They were people who cared for everyone concerned -- not people who would gossip. But there are some secrets you don't tell while the people who could be hurt by them are living -- at least you shouldn't tell them in such a case. I'd never thought of a secret blog.
• Singapore
12 Nov 11
Great to know that you have solved your problem and your friends have helped in the process. It's true - sometimes it is better to leave secrets within ourselves. Secret blog was just something I used to hide some stuff from prying eyes.
@JenInTN (27564)
• United States
7 Nov 11
I think the things that we thought we lost are the things that are the most valuable when you find it. Pictures have been the most valuable things that I have ran across. It's amazing the moments that we capture and run back across.
2 people like this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
8 Nov 11
I also found lots of pictures. One I wish I hadn't found because it reminded me of something I'd like to forget.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
I started writing my diaries when I was at grade school, I keep them all in my mini lib which has a cabinet only myself can access. Other than that, like poetries and articles, I keep the hard copies in a stack and the others are in my portable hard drive. :)
2 people like this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
In some ways, my computer might be the safest place to keep these things, since my husband doesn't do computers. I have so much stuff on this computer he probably would just get lost trying to go through all the files, most of which would not interest him in the least. If I have to type all this stuff out, I'd probably only bother with what I thought was really important to preserve. The most interesting stuff I can't even find, because it's in a file called just "old computer."
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14695)
• United States
7 Nov 11
Such a timely question! Just yesterday I found my smaller dog's favorite squeeky toy that we had given up on as lost forever a few months back. We searched this house at least three times looking for that toy. It's her favorite, I believe, because it is an extra small toy (my dog weighs six pounds) and, the main reason I think, it had never been destroyed by my older dog in a few years which is a miracle in itself. I've been sleeping in another bedroom because, well, the biggest reason is because my husband snores and has sleep apnea but refuses to use his CPAP machine at night. I didn't have another bed at this house (I had one at my other vacant house 250 miles from here) so I bought one of those roll away beds and have been sleeping on that. I also added a few layers of memory foam to the mattress to make it "taller". Well, this past weekend I drove down to my other house with the main purpose of bringing back the twin-sized bed. My son went with me to lend me his muscles. I brought it back Sunday and started to get the roll away bed put away when I noticed my dog's squeeky toy had somehow managed to get between the layers of the memory foam! I squeeked it and gave it to my dog. You should have seen her! She was beside herself, running all through the house with it, squeeking it as she went. I don't think she let go of that thing for at least an hour. As I type, it's lying right beside her. So, I'm happy because I have a bonafied bed ( ) and my little girl is ecstatic because she has her all-time favorite toy back. I'd have to say that, yes, the toy does seem as valuable now that we have it back.
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
I'm happy for both you and your little dog. I've never had a dog, so I had no idea how devoted they are to their toys. I hope you will sleep better now. My husband and I have been sleeping in separate rooms for many years now because his snoring kept me from sleeping at all. He did get his CPAP machine about three years ago, and we can at least sleep in the same motel room now, making travel much less expensive. He's not quite as noisy, and I take a sleeping pill when we travel, so it works. But I'm so used to having my own bed now, I doubt if I could sleep sharing one anymore.
@khare_1005 (1310)
• India
7 Nov 11
dear bagard,every time i loose even a small thing from the house,i feel i have lost it forever as i have a little kiddo in the house who is too busy in throwing away my things and i have no clue where she hides them all.and after a few days when i fetch them back from somewhere,i feel so glad that i still owe my things and they aren't lost somewhere. i used to write diary when i was in college and it had lot of emotions hidden in it.when i was leaving my college,i left the diary with my room mate and asked her to discard it.i don't know if she discarded it or she still has it with her.i wish i could hold that back again but then i wish that it shouldn't land in anybody's hand except me.as it has many painful memories and all my struggles of that period,i don;t want anybody else to see all those.i don;t know if i would ever get to have that diary back to me.
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
As I reread some of my past struggles last night, I see what a different person I am now. I'm not sure all the changes are good. Maybe the young are just more passionate about their causes -- especially if they have few real responsibilities occupying their time. I'm more apathetic when it comes to actually doing anything now that I can't do at a computer.
@loidee (175)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
you should keep it in a safety deposit box with instruction that it should be thrown out. but God forbid should you die, if people would read it, i don't think they'd be mad at you. sometimes, what we write during our toughest times are true, they may be painful but more often than not, somehow they have some truth in it. I found my old journals when I was still in grade school and high school and i wrote some pretty nasty things about my cousin. I get angry really bad and my only outlet at that time was my journal. and when I came home back in college, i saw that my journals were displayed in one of the shelves for everyone to read. it was pretty awkward when I found out but nobody really talked about it. they just blamed my temper tantrums for it. I still kept them since those were my memories for those time. :D
2 people like this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
There are so many things we forget when we get older. Picture albums from years back often remind us of places we'd forgotten we visited or things we'd done. Without some sort of historical record, we would lose parts of ourselves.
@liumirror (138)
• China
7 Nov 11
I have your same experience.When I read my diary,I thought it recall my unhappy thing and ever hurt the person I love.So I bait it and throw it out.I just remind the happy in the my draws, and enjoy it my family.
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
I haven't had the time to reread these since I found them today. I'm sure there are things in the diaries that would help others if they would heed them. But they probably wouldn't have, any more than I would have. Sad, isn't it, how hard it is to learn from the experience of others and instead insist on learning it all by our own experiences.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
6 Nov 11
I am very happy for you. I wish I could find a few things that I have misplaced. One is a ring that I put someplace so the kids wouldn't find it. When the time came that I had enough money to fix it I couldn't find it and have never found it back again! It would be valuable if I could find it back.....
2 people like this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Nov 11
I have a necklace like that. It was the diamond my husband gave me as a wedding gift. I hadn't hidden it, but it had been put away so long I didn't really remember exactly what it looked like. Then one day I got a free similar looking necklace that came with a dress I ordered. I put that away, too. Later on, when I went to look for the diamond, only one necklace was in the jewelry case. I'm just not sure which one it is. I suspect my daughter stole one of them. She'd probably have known which was worth taking because that's how she was. I'm sorry it's gone because it had sentimental value and real value, but I really don't wear necklaces very often, or any other jewelry. I outgrew my wedding rings and had to have them cut off. They are in the safe deposit box now for safekeeping. The only reason I suspect my daughter is that she did steal other things from me and also from my friends. I usually didn't miss them right away because they weren't things I used all the time. She would still long sleeved flannel shirts in summer when I didn't wear them, and in winter they'd be gone. I think it was her way of punishing me when she was mad. It's too bad when you can't trust your daughter who lives with you, but it was really the least of her problems and we were able to recover some things after she stole them before leaving.
@pergammano (7755)
• Canada
7 Nov 11
Sorry, so long in replying ....but am really vascillating over this question...And my answer, for me (if it were me) I would take the bull by the horns and destroy them! My situation is quite different from yours..the only family member that I have left ..is my son! AND I would NOT want him to stumble across "something this personal" after my demise, and have him read what a "bad" place/space I had been in! I feel that would be a plague for him--but I am also ONE....that will NOT participate in an "open-viewing" memorial! I don't want that last memory--to be a tainted memory...I prefer to revel in the good memories! Just my take on things...dear lady!
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14695)
• United States
7 Nov 11
I totally agree. Sorry, I forgot to add what I would do in that situation but pergammano said exactly what I would have said. Well, almost. Just change that "is my son" to "are my sons". I've written diaries (of sorts) when I was in especially emotional periods because it helped me to sort out all those jumbled emotions and thoughts. I forgot about them for awhile one time then destroyed them as soon as I stumbled across them later. The actual words on paper were void of any value once that period of my life was over so there was no need to keep them. If anything is worth remembering, it's in my cranial memory file.
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Nov 11
Hey, Marti...thanks for showing up...have missed you, and I so totally concur...some secrets ARE MEANT TO BE SECRETS! There are many times/trials and tribulations we don't need to share the essence of....that is what formed us into whom we are today--and the gory details are not necessary! bagarad....I introduced (sorry)another topic into this discussion...but there are some things I would like to be remembered for; one, alive and smiling...two; not the dark side of me! Good discussion!
@flowerchilde (12547)
• United States
10 Nov 11
The worse thing I can think of that I lost is some really kool pictures years ago when my children were little we had a neighbor who did photography come to our house and take family photos.. some of the proofs in between the shots saved were really cute (when we were disorganized) I thought I put them in a certain place but they never turned up and I figure I threw them away by mistake.. but still can't imagine how I did it..
1 person likes this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
10 Nov 11
Maybe someday you will get the surprise and joy of finding them, as I found mine. I thought I had already looked through all the pictures I had left but had never found these -- even when I had unearthed the box I thought they might be in. I had forgotten about these albums hidden away (accidentally) in my room with the stacks of other stuff in front of them. I hope they will turn up.
@Aja103654 (5658)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
i might keep them online and type it. the page would be password protected hopefully. I don't trust deposit boxes that much.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
9 Nov 11
Me neither. You can bet that if it's not opened for a given amount of time, or the bill not paid, they would be calling my husband to ask what to do with the contents.
@drannhh (15245)
• United States
9 Nov 11
Some of those things are like wonderful little surprises, but others I flinch and throw them away, lol. Glad you are having such a good time recovering your writings and your urge to keep writing. It is good to do that.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (12868)
• Paso Robles, California
9 Nov 11
I ought to through a lot of my stuff away - and not just writing. My house overflowth!