As love continues

@jazzyrae (1747)
United States
November 6, 2011 11:46pm CST
Don't you hate that as a relationship goes on the sweet things he used to do slowly start tO go away. I have had my boyfriend for two years and I love him. Very much!!!!! But it is just not the same he used to cOmPliment me every day and we would go out and talk for like two hours on the phone now that we live together it barly happens it's even worse since we both got jobs- seems like the only thing he loves Is his Xbox I just feel really unappreciated you know and I cant tell hI'm that because he will get all defensive and say it is because we are together more now stuff like that it is just so frustrating I love him but I hate the situation
10 responses
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
Don't you think it would be better for both of you to get married? Normally, couples, once they got married or live together will come to that stage where they won't be like how they used to be before. I have this friend who says the same thing to me. She wanted to break up with him. But I don't think it would be fair for the guy. What if that is his personality, you should talk to him about it. And you can also surprise him by doing sweet things a guy should do, like treat him out and have a date with him. Or surprise him with special things you think he would appreciate. Sometimes we girls should take over their part too. It is normal for us to be frustrated because we got used to the things they treat us like a baby before.
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
7 Nov 11
Ya I know what you mean we plan on getting married it just hasn't happened yet...but we are doing great like you said it just gets frustrating sometimes lol
• United States
8 Nov 11
While Enelym001 is partly correct, it is important for the girls to surprise him with sweet things, as well as him doing the opposite. I disagree that you should get married. You need to get things worked out before you consider getting married. If its bad now, it tends to get worse when you get married because then most people stop trying.
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
8 Nov 11
As much as I appreciate the advice we still do plan on marriage but thanks
• Romania
7 Nov 11
Dear jazzyrae, the relationship changes all the time, at first it all seems wonderful because both people want to please the other, to show them how much they care.But as they say, the hunt in more exciting than the pray, it's all about the game, once they have each other, they stop all that attention,the compliments.So if they don't have a similar character, or similar tastes, it's not very easy in time, they get bored, there is nothing left to discuss. Don't make this a great deal, it will not help you feel better, or him be nicer to you. Men like their freedom, they remain children, they like to play.I have never heard of a man who kept on beeing romantic and thoughtfull for more then a few months, they surprise you once in a while but, let's face it, none of the romance movies are really true.
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
7 Nov 11
Wow very conical and I am going to have to disagree with your baby went through hell to get me as his girl friend and went through hell for the first year and a half we dated I love him with all my heart and he loves me we work a lot and are always tiered that's a main problem. I know he still loves me and would never leave a relationship is supposed to change the change is love the begging is lust not all men are out looking for the next best thing some men do settle down
• United States
8 Nov 11
Sandacocos, I have to agree that many people stop doing the sweet things that they did while dating or when a relationship first starts, but I don't believe that you are right about none of the romance movies are true.
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
I guess that's what really happens to most relationships. At first during the courtship stage, the guy will be very sweet. He would always call you and do sweet stuffs for you but later on, it will slowly change. I don't know. Maybe you both just got too comfortable with each other.
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
7 Nov 11
That's defiantly a plus and has a lot to do with it we are comfortable lol thank you for your post
@WakeUpKitty (8711)
• Netherlands
7 Nov 11
No relationship will stay the same. It will always change and improve. As soon as we know someone better we will start doing our own stuff as well. Keeping a relationship alive is something you have to work for. If you take it for granted it will all be gone or dull before you know. So ask yourself if you are still the same person as you were 2 years ago.
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
7 Nov 11
I know relationship is supposes to change I think that means you have a real relationshiP not just a lust. I am the same person still have the same values and principles and I still love him with my heart fit is just hard to find time sometimes but thank you for the comments
• United States
7 Nov 11
Hi! I was in a similar situation as you. It always start like a fairytale where two people can't wait to see and talk to one another and butterflies in the stomach. We can go on and on talking and nothing else seemed to really matter at that moment. But as time flies, things begin to simmer down and the sparks stop going off like fireworks. I dealt with the situation by understanding that we all need out own space and personal time. Especially when a couple start living together, time apart and time together gets mixed together. Try to set a certain amount of time each day where you both do your own things separately. Then set a certain amount of time for couple time and use this time to talk and do things together. Communicating is a crucial and important part of making a relationship work. Talk about how your day went at work and other things. There will be disagreements but try to come to an agreement that during that couples time, feelings shared cannot be criticized and only to be listened. Arguments can occur at other times of the day but during couples time, no judgement are said aloud and only supportive things are said during that particular time. Also a date night should be scheduled once a week. It may be difficult due to work schedules and other things but definitely try to find an day, afternoon, or evening where you get out of the house together. It does not need to be fancy but more for seeing each other out of the house whether its dinner, dessert, movies, a stroll in the park/scenic areas, local events, etc. Anyways good luck with your situation!
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
7 Nov 11
Wow That is an awesome idea I am going to have to try that thank you so much
@kaeirole (669)
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
i also feel that way..i also hate it when the sweetness fades as the relationship gets longer..the feeling of too comfortable is always there..that's why there many stuffs that both of you used to do slowly disappears.. but for me, even though we've together with my partner, for example, 50 years, i still want to remain as sweet as possible..and we'll have a different kind of sweetness to share..just to keep the love so alive..
@boyuancy (1709)
• India
9 Nov 11
I'm so sorry but all guys are the same (Believe me I know because I am). It somehow gets boring after a while I guess and a guy wants to go to all his Guy things like video games and sports. If it is from the guys part, I mean if he was attracted to you and tried very hard to get you it may last longer. Try playing a little Hard-to-get or disinterested to arouse his primal instincts and male ego and see how it works out.
@GavinKaos (281)
• United States
8 Nov 11
I think that you need to sit down with your boyfriend and tell him how you feel. A very important part of relationships is communication. Without it, imo the relationship will not last. I believe most people get comfortable with each other and feel that once your together there is no work involved. Its quite the opposite. I am 32, and my wife is 30. We have been married 12 years. We have date night once a week, I still send her flowers and cards, or write her love letters (no matter how bad they can be), and will dish up her plate up so she can stay comfortable. In return, she leaves me "I love you" messages around the house so I can find them. She'll slip pictures (pictures of us, her, or our fur babies) or a message in my briefcase. These are just a few things we do. We have traditions that we did while we dated that we still do. Every Friday the 13th, and Halloween, we watch horror movies until early the next day. Everyday when I leave for work, I tell my wife I love her and to have a good day. When I get to work, I text her I love her and that I made it to work with no problems. Even if we're mad at each other, we still make sure that the other one knows that we love each other. I'm not saying our marriage is perfect, but we have a great one. We are each others best friends and lovers. We can talk about anything. While it is important to have time together, it is also important to have "me" time. Otherwise someone could feel smothered or overwhelmed. I hope this helps.
• India
7 Nov 11
Hi buddy..Tell him to sit with you and talk to you for a while.In that situation,just express him that how much you love and the feelings about him when you are alone.I hope this will work out well.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
For me told him in that case just ask him what was happened said him that you don't like about his doing heart to heart talked it is must.