How to Overcome Social Awkwardness?

Philippines
November 9, 2011 2:42am CST
Today is our first day of school after a month of vacation. I was kind of running late since I did not woke up early. When I arrived at school, a lot of my blockmates are already there. All of them are talking about how their vacation went, how they missed each other and things like that. While everyone was in commotion, I find myself sitting at the corner of our room, looking at each of my blockmates as if begging for their attention. I have never realized until earlier how lonely my life is at school. Nobody even said they missed me. I was really hoping that someone would approach me and ask me how my vacation was. But no one did. Approaching them is also not in my list. I am pretty sure that when I talk to them, they would feel awkward and would think that I am trying hard to be their friend. In my eighteen years of existence I have never gained much friends. I do not know what is wrong with me; I would want to make more friends but I am scared to make the first move since I'm afraid they would just put me down. I know that the purpose of going to school is to learn and not to make friends, however, sometimes you just feel so alone and lonely when everyone is having fun while you're just sitting there wishing to be noticed just once.
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
9 Nov 11
I made the mistake of not putting myself out there when i was in school, and I made very little friends. I was fine with the small group of friends I had, but I did feel lonely at times. You have to take chances in order to get anything out of school. Sure, some people wont want to be your friend, but the more you go out of your way to approach people, the more you will see positive reactions. The more you force yourself to talk to people, the easier it will get over time.
2 people like this
@Jargoness (1193)
• Israel
9 Nov 11
I could write the same story as yours. :) I have social awkwardness (or phobia) too and I have to deal with it every day. When I go to the university I look calm, but my heart is beating like crazy and my mind is racing. "What if I look stupid?" "What if I'm walking funny?" "What if.." I'm not really scared of an individual, but of groups of people: they terrify me. It's like they're constantly judging me- which would be actually ridiculous. I mean, they must have more interesting things to do, right? I'm afraid of rejection as well, but not as much as before. I guess time and constant work on your fears help a lot. Try to get closer to people "like you". Shy, insecure, over-sensitive. I love this kind of people actually, I feel like I'm not alone. I also feel protective, I get so pissed off when people make fun of them. If you were in my school I'd love to be your friend.
• United States
9 Nov 11
I experience socially awkward situations on a daily basis and my personality is very individualistic so I don't communicate much. Well t least I didn't, and now I try to talk to anyone, so I can gain more friends! A tip to gathering more friends would be just to be yoirself and find some common groun with each of your peers. Then embody the common grond to build a stronger relationship and a better bond! You just got to start somewhere so break the ice with a cheesy joke, or recent news, or by singing epicly to one of your favorite songs, :P
@Jargoness (1193)
• Israel
9 Nov 11
You're not a coward, you're just too sensitive.
@tamirs (1808)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
that was me years ago,believe that's the most horrible situation i've been before.. I just want to be noticed by schoolmates or roommates, till i heard in our school seminar that: "its ok mingle and socialite and TAKE CONTROL, because doing so means MOVING FORWARD . Meeting new friends make you will help you move forward by learning from them,adding activities from your lifestyle, and feeling all the emotions that having lots of friends can give you." Taking control doesn't mean to rule,it only means you should not be afraid to make the first move. After applying that i have learned that this world is a much better place than i have known before..A lot of new experiences and lessons to learn. Believe me you won't feel the same after doing so. :-D
@tamirs (1808)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
@ joan,you are right,you need to be more friendly,take control. Everybody needs to be.. :-D
@humaira12 (149)
• Indonesia
10 Nov 11
have you ever tried to interact first with ur friends? because so doing, you will know what is wrong with u, or maybe just to feel inferior if they are near you.. LOL :-)
• United States
9 Nov 11
I was really shy when I was in school and some of that lingers today. The difference for me is that I enjoyed being a loner. I was a people watcher which helped me learn to read people, their actions and body language. This helps me today but my lack of interaction was and sometimes still is a hindrance. I'm not good at small talk and getting to know people is still difficult. You should work on being more social not because it is necessary or normal but because it seems to be what you want. Take small steps by saying hello to some random person in the hall or telling the person next to you in class that you like their shoes and asking them where they got them. The more you do things like that the easier it will be to do bigger things like have an actual conversation. People who arent shy dont understand how hard it is to put yourself out there. I was always afraid of saying the wrong thing and being judge negatively. School is a place for learning and that includes learning to be social and making friends. If someone puts you down then they arent worth your time anyway.
• Philippines
9 Nov 11
Why do you feel that way? What is it with approaching other people you're so afraid about? I don't think there's something wrong with asking them. I mean come on! They're lucky someone wants their boring stories! There might be problems with your people there but, I think there is more on to you - you might need to do the first move. You are not some airheaded freak in school right?