How to find a virtual relationship
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
United States
November 10, 2011 4:39pm CST
Okay...I just flipped out a minute and thought of something really out there! For people like me who want a virtual relationship, but don't want to actually change their lives to have an actual partner...how do they do it? I am very set in my ways. I don't want to bring a real person into my life because my life is kind of complicated. Actually being with someone would never work out, but having a male figure in my life through emails and chat would be nice. So how does a person go about actually finding someone to care about that you will never really meet? I'm not totally serious here, but I am curious about how to connect. I connected with K on a really close way but this has turned abusive. We made up but it's never going to be the same. So how to find someone I can feel just as good about?
I'm more of a shut in type person. No car. I never get out unless it is to the doc or with the daughter and SIL when we go shopping. I've lost interest in a lot of things. So what would you suggest to a person like me who just wants a virtual relationship. I wonder if there will ever be virtual marriages where the folks never meet??? 
1 person likes this
15 responses
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
12 Nov 11
I told you already, you go to online dating sites and you specify that you are just looking for an online friend.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
12 Nov 11
I give up everything I say you have a negative answer for, I can't help you if you dont want to try anything
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
17 Nov 11
I'm not interested in moldy bread or day old bread.. as you were relating that fat people have to get what they can get. Even just wanting an email friend ends up with no responses.. unless they want to try to see if they can get into my pants. They think fat women are easy.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
12 Nov 11
It hasn't worked.. they just want to hook up.. get laid.. and so forth.
@girl_thinking (1959)
• Philippines
10 Nov 11
Hello PointlessQ,
I had a virtual boyfriend before :)) I had a xanga account way back in 2004 and I met him there. I was surfing the blogs when I came across his site. I commented on his entry about being heartbroken. He commented back on my blog and that is how we started. We became YM chat-mates as well..
We never met and we never talked over the phone. So up to now I am clueless if he really is a guy.
Anyway, we lasted for about 2 years. Pure text, emails and snail mails. No pictures, no phone calls. Weird, right? But it was okay, because all I wanted back then is a dashboard of my rantings as well as emotional confidante.
Haha, but really, up to now I don't even know if he is a real guy or not :))
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
That would be the perfect thing.. to have a confidant. Just someone to talk back and forth with. You can really care about friends who are virtual. I have several sister friends online whom I adore like real sisters.
@girl_thinking (1959)
• Philippines
26 Nov 11
Oh wow, best response ^_^ Thank you po.. ^_^
Isn't it something wonderful? I mean, for all I know I could have met that person or maybe I could have talked to him already and yet I was clueless that it was him/her. ^_^
No matter big the world is, our lives are really interconnected, maybe that's why they say "it's a small world after all"
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
well, there are many out there who feel the same way as yours. i am sure you can find them in several sites that allow people to connect personally such as mylot. but i heard many unfortunate stories and sad incidents of virtual relationships that turn ugly and bitter in the end. well, the border between real and virtual is almost blurred by the technology and extent of longing by individuals. i wish you the best.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
True... then comes another thought... have robotic relationship partners who that are programmed to be the perfect partners! That's my style.. they will be commonplace in 2050... I'll be 100 years old then... so that's out.
@carsocmaguinsay (417)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
It maybe possible to find relationship online... but I am doubtful about marriage...
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
About all I have found is con men that tell you what you want to hear and then bilk you out of whatever money you have... lost my home that way to one.. long story.. that's why I don't trust anyone now. I don't even want to meet anyone anymore.. just email for company and that is about all I want. I don't want to be taken advantage of, and that always seems to happen.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
Real ones have always ended badly. I've lost too much by being in real relationships. Lost my home one time and almost lost my life with another one. I was paying $500 every payday to one so he wouldn't abuse me. It took me 9 months to get him out of my life. I just don't want to get more of the same.
@kaeirole (668)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
really?you choose to have a virtual relationship than to have a real on who's just behind you?i think you've gone a lot to decide about that..
virtual relationships, for me, are also real relationships..but most of it doesn't end well if both won't level up,, like see each other personally..you can continue with your virtual relationship, if that's what you want..but i hope you can go outside your shell and try to meet more people personally..even though your life is complicated, there'll always be someone whose perfect with your complicated life, if that's what you call it..it can be a partner in life or your friends..
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
you choose to have a virtual relationship than to have a real on who's just behind you? Honestly, I haven't seen anyone just behind me or in front of me or beside me in about 18 years. The ones that I have allowed into my life took me for money or threatened my life. No thanks. I don't even want to go outside of my shell to try getting to know someone because it wouldn't work out anyway. Never has, so I can't expect that it ever will. I live with my daughter and her hubby... so no man could ever become a part of my life and live with us.. and I'm not leaving home base only to lose my home again. I literally lost a home by allowing one man into my life... so I have good reason to be very weary.
Honestly, I haven't seen anyone just behind me or in front of me or beside me in about 18 years. The ones that I have allowed into my life took me for money or threatened my life. No thanks. I don't even want to go outside of my shell to try getting to know someone because it wouldn't work out anyway. Never has, so I can't expect that it ever will. I live with my daughter and her hubby... so no man could ever become a part of my life and live with us.. and I'm not leaving home base only to lose my home again. I literally lost a home by allowing one man into my life... so I have good reason to be very weary.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
19 Nov 11
I know exactly where you are coming from but I have never hoped for what you are hoping for in your discussion here. I think that would be just as hopeless as finding a real man, getting to know him and having something acceptable and sustainable working out. It's just never going to happen.
I've always fallen for the wrong guy and now I'm in therapy, it's easy to understand why. I'm thinking that I will never be in the right place to find a guy who is worthy of me and good for me - I need a lot and the men I meet are shallow, thoughtless and self absorbed. Or else they are suffering severe depression and dosed to the gills on medication so they are barely able to function in the real world.
@yoyo1198 (3641)
• United States
10 Nov 11
You can never really be sure of what you are getting when you resort to an online relationship. People seem to always disappoint. I saw recently where there is a website for fake girlfriend and the originator was going to come out with a fake boyfriend site. You can carry on with texting, emailing etc. I think. Perhaps that would be more up to your speed?
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
The fact is you won't be 'getting' anything.. and that would be the ideal for someone who doesn't want a real person taking up space in their life. Just a sort of pen pal.. I have lots of friends.. all women.. but only one male... but that isn't working out well, because I also worked for him and we had a falling out.. and he was abusive in text... anyway... old history. He apologized and wants to just go back to being how it was, but it just isn't working now.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
11 Nov 11
I like that idea of "virtual marriage" 
I never search or look for someone to care for me virtually.
But, unexpectedly I did found someone..
Maybe for the others who never understand or experienced same thing they might find it funny or whatever they call (i don't care)
I have fallen in love to someone virtually , yes, I do (i love him)
It also doesn't mean living in actual (in person) for me.
But the feeling is really great....someone who send email (uhmnn, yah, just fine)
The feeling that someone out there do care and love you too is the best experience
I don't how to tell you how to find one.
Like, I wrote,I never searched for it.
It came unexpectedly...never planned.
Maybe it will come to you too...one day, someday who knows
I never search or look for someone to care for me virtually.
But, unexpectedly I did found someone..
Maybe for the others who never understand or experienced same thing they might find it funny or whatever they call (i don't care)
I have fallen in love to someone virtually , yes, I do (i love him)
It also doesn't mean living in actual (in person) for me.
But the feeling is really great....someone who send email (uhmnn, yah, just fine)
The feeling that someone out there do care and love you too is the best experience
I don't how to tell you how to find one.
Like, I wrote,I never searched for it.
It came unexpectedly...never planned.
Maybe it will come to you too...one day, someday who knows @PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
There is always hope I guess. I'm glad you found someone.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Nov 11
Lemme se here then sweetie.
We can always start a virtual party room or something.
Just to chat with people and so on and so forth and, well i am sure you do get the point.
Or we can just ship you off to alaska and come there to visist or something.
Anything else i can help with?
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
Let's see...going to Alaska...I'll need to get a rifle to shoot bear with while on the way to the outhouse. Too cold prolly for indoor plumbing.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
I belong to a dating site but rarely go there. I never answer any messages I get. If I read their message and I don't feel a connection I just ignore them.
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
11 Nov 11
I think you should try to communicate with people and try to have less time on the internet.Cause when you avoid togethering time with people in real life,you would less become further with relationships.This may also caught by the pressure of the society.Just try to change and good luck.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
I really don't see anyone in the real world. I don't get out much at all.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
11 Nov 11
I think many people want a kind of virtual relationship. Many are not able to live together day and night. A LAT relationship was already a sign of that.
Also having a relationship with someone who is already into an other relationship/married is a sign of not wanting to be close to someone and to share everything.
Internet made it possible to have all kind of relationships all over the world. Before we had a penpall and wrote letters sent by post, now we have email/sms/video chat. You can share every part of your life with someone else without ever meeting this person. Nothing wrong with that as long as both know you have no intentions to mee in real life. Both can go on with their own life and brighten up eachothers life with this relationship. Nothing wrong with that.
BTW it must be possible to get married with someone you never met since it's possible in enough countries to get married without being together, with or without a stand in.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
These kinds of virtual relationships can give much comfort when you just want someone to share your thoughts and ideas with.
@Pushhyarag2000 (1416)
• India
11 Nov 11
[u][/u]There are a few things to consider if the relationship has to be meaningful, rewarding & long lasting:
You have to be discreet while being on the lookout for a guy
Go about commenting and following comments or opinions of the guy on a good social networking site to check compatibility
Try to be on an even keel; the guy would know that you are too anxious to flirt [virtual, of course 
Limit the channel to a private messaging window on any one site rather than opening up multiple channels as too much of familiarity too soon may develop into the proverbial contempt
Hoping these few tips are worth giving a try. 
Limit the channel to a private messaging window on any one site rather than opening up multiple channels as too much of familiarity too soon may develop into the proverbial contempt
Hoping these few tips are worth giving a try. @PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
11 Nov 11
I was talking to a guy that my family knows on Facebook. He is a fellow ham operator. But it never did go anywhere. I'm not pushy at all.
@Pushhyarag2000 (1416)
• India
11 Nov 11
[/b]Oops, small edit there: .. the guy would know that you are [b]notoverly anxious....
@boyuancy (1708)
• India
12 Nov 11
Sorry but there is no definite answer like go to this site and you will find a good person there coz there actually isn't. Try setting up a fake account and start chatting. If you are supposed to find a good person you will and if you like him you can finally disclose your identity.
