Never felt so terrible in my entire life...:(
By Theresaaiza
@Theresaaiza (10487)
Australia
November 12, 2011 2:41am CST
So for the past few months I have been whining about how my old job was so nepotism-stricken and that leaving was the best thing I have ever done.
Now, I have a new job where trainees are valued in the form of leave privileges, less stressful schedule, and more accommodating staff.
In this new job, I have the right connections, but I am not abusive so I went through the same process as everyone else - I took the qualifying exam, presented the necessary papers, and underwent the series of interviews. In short I didn't get any special treatment.
Only one week in the job, I was called in by the CEO and was promised of a paid job next month depending on my performance. My co-trainees would know it eventually and it saddens me that they will be left behind in an unpaid status.
But I have been praying for a job for so long and I am certain that this was God's answer to me, I didn't cheat my way through to this opportunity, but I can't help feeling terrible that I got something good and I couldn't bring the rest of them with me.
2 people like this
14 responses
@allknowing (130066)
• India
12 Nov 11
It is not your fault if others are left behind. You need to curb your emotion as these are normal happenings in life specially when you have not played any negative role in leaving your colleagues behind.
2 people like this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
12 Nov 11
I can't help but feel quilty. These people knew that I was connected one way or another to the administrators (not my doing) but the CEO had blurted it out himself. Can't blame if he was so proud of having me around.
How will I keep these new found friends from thinking negatively of me? Or do I just have to learn not to care?
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130066)
• India
12 Nov 11
You need to be practical in that I repeat as long as you have not played a negative role in keeping your colleagues behind you are being unfair to yourself by feeling the way you do. After all charity begins at home. If you want to 'go places' you have rise above this.
2 people like this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
13 Nov 11
Thanks allknowing. It is such a relief to read your response.
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
12 Nov 11
If you feel that this opportunity came to you through the blessing of God then I would thank him. You should rejoice in his decision not think he had made a mistake by helping you. God knows what he is doing and must have other plans for those who did not get the job.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
13 Nov 11
I need to trust that God blesses everyone in His own time. I would be glad to see the day that my colleagues also become blessed.
1 person likes this
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
13 Nov 11
If this experience caused you to "Never felt so terrible in my entire life" then you must have lived a charmed life to think this is the worse you have ever felt.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
15 Nov 11
I only mean my employment life. I wouldn't say "charmed". It's just that for a time, I have been working in places where I was at the pitiful end. And now that the tables have turned, it doesn't feel all joyful to be in this position and seeing that others were left behind.
1 person likes this
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
12 Nov 11
Hi there... Good nature and honesty are always rewarded. You feel bad for your co-trainees, that is decent of you. And that is how life is! Survival of the fittest, is essentially the law of life. You were more qualified and capable, so the company gave YOU the opportunity. Congratulations and good luck for a great future. Don't worry about your friends, they'll get the opportunity too... Take care...
1 person likes this
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
12 Nov 11
mr_pearl is right, you can afford to bear other people's problems too much. Take care yourself with a sincere heart will do.
2 people like this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
13 Nov 11
Maybe I am just too worried that they will hate me for this. I used to resent someone from my old job because she was favored. I tried to understand that it's just the way life goes, but still I could not do away with that feeling. I fugured that I could make a difference and that is to not change the way I regard my colleagues - that is with respect, care and concern.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
13 Nov 11
Hi again theresa!
I don't think you need to feel terrible about it. You did the best you could so don't feel so bad that the others will remain unpaid. They will have their best time too they just need to maybe try harder
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
16 Nov 11
Yes each has his own time. The job that I have now is far more challenging that theirs so so somehow that evens it out.
1 person likes this
@shailesh5499 (81)
• India
13 Nov 11
Congratulations. You shouldn't feel guilty about what's happened and need to understand life isn't fair. It was your luck and others misfortune that had taken you to this level, when somebody progresses someone has to lose something, this is natural and you're a nice person because you also want to see others progress in life, but life doesn't permit that and it isn't always fair.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
16 Nov 11
I know life has its ways of being unfair but I do not want to think so. I want to believe that everything comes in its own way and time. Perhaps right now, this is my share of blessings and for others will have to come later.
1 person likes this
@deadlywario0 (57)
• United States
13 Nov 11
I agree wit you, the world needs more people with your world view. Yes it is sad that your co-workers/co-trainee's couldn't come along but in this economy/day and age some people just don't cut it. its not that they aren't good people its more like they don't have the time, aren't "cut-out" for the job or just plain are mean. You get good people, you get bad people. It all depends on A) your performance/record and B) your connections.
In this day and age it is all about connections
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
16 Nov 11
I would love it more if connections were at the bottom of the qualifications list and not at the top. I would describe that scheme as an inverted pyramid. It is very unstable and will cause many organizations to fall.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
12 Nov 11
You have worked hard , done all the work that was necessary and come up to the stage where you are in.There is no need to feel guilty.You have not done anything adverse ; you have not harmed anyone.There is no fault of yours.God takes care of each one of us and all will get what they have worked for and what God has ordained for them in due course of time.THis is not the end for anyone and there would be many more 'tomorrows'.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
15 Nov 11
Thank you for your wonderful response! I will bear that in mind.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
2 Dec 11
theresaaiZa cheerup as you did nothing to harm your co trainees'and eventually I am sure they will all get hired too. life is full of instances like these and while you do feel guilty you should not as you won your job fair and square. God was indeed hearing you
and looking out for you.so do be thankfu 
and quit feeling
guilty please.
and quit feeling
guilty please.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
13 Nov 11
I am happy for you but will hold my congratulations until you have your first pay check in your hand. Don't waste your time feeling sorry for the other trainees, if there was only one slot open. Do remember how you came up.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
16 Nov 11
I will update you on my status if I can, bellis. Thanks for your advice.
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
12 Nov 11
Congratulations! While it is human nature to want all good things for all people (especially friends, family and co-workers), you yourself acknowledged that you have earned your paid job based on performance. You earned it! Your co-trainees should be happy for you, while also using you as a role model. If they keep at it, might they also be offered a paid position?
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
16 Nov 11
We will all lead separate ways from here. Others may be lucky enough to land a paid job, while others will not. Connections are very important in getting a job especially in the place where I am working.
In my case, it was stressed by my boss that he needed someone he knew he can rely on and trust. Maybe my connection was an edge but at least I have the qualifications to back me up. There are others who got in with zero experience and therefore are performing less satisfactorily.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
15 Dec 11
This discussion is already a months old, and I hope that you're still enjoying your job.
Don't be hard on yourself about not being able to bring all your colleagues to where you are. This is where self assessment kicks in. Everybody who's been treated unfairly at their jobs should take it upon themselves to find something else.
Just like what you did.
@emjay86 (640)
• Philippines
23 Nov 11
Try to focus on the positive side. Whatever is the circumstance is not of your own doing entirely. You never left behind your mates. I think what matters is you go on ahead and when you can, try to help those left behind land a job, maybe not in the same company as you do. Maybe elsewhere.
@geekemgirl (270)
• United States
13 Nov 11
Take the opportunity and run. That is what any one of the other trainees would do. You earned this chance and deserve it. You didnt do any thing wrong so have nothing to feel guilty about. The other trainees will get their chance eventually.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
11 Jan 12
Yes that is right. I should not waste my time feeling this way since I know eventually all of us will have a chance at a better life
@geekemgirl (270)
• United States
13 Nov 11
Take this opportunity and run. That is exactly what any one of the other trainees would do. You earned the job and you deserve it. You didnt do anything wrong and the other trainees will get their opportunity eventually.
1 person likes this
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
16 Nov 11
Thank you geekemgirl. I will do my best to be deserving of this job.
1 person likes this
