Marrying someone for Money, will you do it?

@chiyosan (29388)
Philippines
November 15, 2011 9:08pm CST
My mom was telling me, She went out yesterday with friends and they got to talk about this guy who is very handsome; he married this woman for the woman's family's money - appararently, everyone knew about it and the father even gave him money to start up a business. They simply had to let their daughter go and be married because she is getting older and no one is courting her (she is not attractive). They are still together now, and the man has built a good business out of the money given him, they had children who are now professionals as well. If you were the Guy, would you do what he did and marry this woman - even though you know that all people knows you married her for her family's wealth?
2 people like this
27 responses
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
That was certainly a big gamble for the man. But I think he wanted to show the family that he indeed deserves it and made good on the money they gave him. I think the man not only loved the money but his family since I never read in your post that they separated or the man was tempted or was not happy in the relationship. I think maybe the reason why he married the woman was for the money but it certainly looks like he did not stray away in the marriage which is also an important factor in the family. Well if I am into that situation I might be tempted as well that is if I am not involved or committed with someone at the time it was offered. Why not if you can commit to the relationship I think there is nothing wrong with it.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
I guess you are right, it is a huge gamble for him to be able to do this... Maybe eventually he has loved the person he married and I think there was no news he betrayed or has cheated on her. so it sure is a good turn of relationship after all. =)
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
Yes and I think that he did proved to the family that he was worth the money they gave to him since he did not splurged the money but made more money out of it. And to top it all he also became a good father and husband to his family. It may be for convenience that he chose to make this decision but he was responsible enough to make himself a happy man with his family. So I guess that turns out well for some situations that could have turned sour over time because love was absent but it turned out well so there is no question about that.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
Hi rsa! :) i guess its all a matter of choice. he chose to marry the woman for the money, and for the life he can have with her.. but he also made a choice to be happy with the decision and stand by it... thank you for your response!
1 person likes this
17 Nov 11
Im a guy. And I would never marry a girl for her money. Love over money. Im the kind of guy who looks for the personality in a girl. beauty catches attention, personality captures the heart. money comes, money goes.
@SandeeE (346)
• United States
17 Nov 11
I think that's awesome. Says alot about a man. It's very true that we can look for the most amazing loooking person but have the personality of nothing. Boring and uninteresting. I think men and woman should really try to be friends first and build of of that so the heart grows fonder not only off love but off the bonding of a friendship.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi shok, most of us really wont and majority of those who responded to the discussion did say they do not want to marry for money.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi sandee that's right it depends on what we want, really if we want that person with personality, money, and so on... it is always our choice. thank you very much for your response! happy mylotting!
@tessa9 (1086)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
Maybe there's more to the story than just that but to answer your question, I don't think I would marry someone for just their money. But you never know though, maybe there will come a time where I really need money and stuff but I want my wedding to be special and romantic so I don't really know.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
Hehe for now, my answer wouldstill be the same - no to marriage born out of necessity. but i would probably have changed my mind myself if time comes - in the near future... perhaps. haha
@SandeeE (346)
• United States
18 Nov 11
Ya I guess we can't really be sure if we were backed into a corner or up against great trials & tribulations what we might do in this case in order to make end's meat. I would hope that one would stick to their morals & values first but when you have kid's to feed I think you have to do what you have to sometimes. Have you heard of Sugar Daddy's? I think there are plenty of men out there that want company and companionship that will be willing to pay single woman for that and not have to actually marry them and can still go home to their kid's & familes. I do know some Sugar Daddy's are will to not be physical as part of the package.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi sandee! well yes that is true, there are those who may have this kind of life... but i think why would you want to pay for someone and be a benefactor only to a woman of a certain age, etc. if you want to help (the sugar daddy) he can shell out his money to those who really needs them... im sure many rich people does have friends. why not go for their company instead?
@faisai (1140)
• Hong Kong
16 Nov 11
I don't get it. When you say everyone "know" that he marry the woman for her family's money... How do they "know" it? Is it from the guy's mouth or are they just speculating it? I am not saying the money isn't the reason behind the marriage but why can't it be just part of the reasons? Why can't we just believe that the man, really handsome, loves this woman, who is not attractive? Do we really need to put a ring around love that the handsome guys can only love the attractive woman and vice versa without exception? I believe people are in general with good hearts and that there aren't that many people who sell their marriage for money and money alone. I think I would marry a woman regardless of her family background. Or is it making more sense that I let go the girl I love because she is rich and I am poor?
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
Well i am not sure about the guy's background but it was indeed one of the reasons why people thinks, or as you said speculated that she marry the girl because of what her family was able to provide them as a start up. i would not judge him and i do not know his true intentions and if his feelings changed, etc, but have had to use his story as a sample for me to be able to put up the discussion. thank you for your response to the topic.
@faisai (1140)
• Hong Kong
16 Nov 11
I hope I have not irritated you in my reply and I would apologize if it did. All I want to say is that there are many possibilities. After reading your original post, I think most people will have the prejudice that the guy is marrying for money and money alone.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
hi faisai, yup it is norm, it is what i thought of, and what my mom and her friends thought of. all of a sudden he is marrying a woman who no one wanted in their own circle. I mean it could mean a lot of things, but sure it would include that he is marrying for the "money" alone. Perhaps we should understand how the guy would be feeling and yeah, it must have been a lot of courage from him for that action and he has to live with that - imagine!
• United States
16 Nov 11
I'm not a guy, but I really couldn't see myself marrying for money. I already know what it's like to live an unhappy life and I don't think forcing myself into a marriage with someone I don't care for would be worth all the money in the world.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
Thank you for your answer. I myself cannot think of anything that i would do for money - i am not even so sure i would be wasting my life on a relationship that is not bound on love and feelings. No amount of money, i guess would make me want to life and spend my life with a person... =(
@naseemkum (1804)
• India
17 Nov 11
I dont do it for money just i wil search for a caring partner with love. If we start loving our wife for money then there is no use to be as partner. I know in india some peoples are getting dowry from women's family as a compensation to his life. They may be buy something as properties like land,bike or something etc. Its shows the inability of men himself. So by getting money man always proves that he is not worth for nothing in the world.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
thank you naseem for your response. :D it is always great when you are with someone that you chose and love and is willing to fight for... not for the money but for the person.
@allen0187 (27464)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
yes i would marry an unattractive woman for money. seems a fairly simple thing to do. that's just me though, no morals whatsoever. what matters is the moneeeeeyyyyy!!!
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hahaha oh that is hyour choice and you should be happy with it. money is kind of next to everything now adays.
@allen0187 (27464)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi there chiyosan! money is next to nothing... it comes first compared to everything else!!! lol! cheers and happy mylotting!!!
@vandana7 (57466)
• India
15 Jan 13
It happens in India all the time. They marry, then if the guy is not satisfied, he does not divorce. Instead, he looks for a mistress, and keeps the matter hidden from his wife. To the world, we Indians have a very long lasting marriages. But inside it is like the termite has eaten away. Many marriages are just a sham. We are no different from the rest of the world. It is only the dowry that is the monetary obligation that holds us together.
@vandana7 (57466)
• India
15 Jan 13
And girls are no different either. But to be fair to girls, few come across people whom they would like. So they agree to the first or any match that their parent present to them. They are constantly aware of the life of unmarried girls. So they opt for better life than life with love in it. Even those who divorce after being abused do not get kinder view of the society. In these days and times, the society here still expects the woman to put up with a drunkard, abusive husband, gambler, or idler, as the case may be just because he is a man, and just because they are happy to label it as "karma". It can be quite sickening if you ask me.
• United States
15 Jan 13
I may marry a person if they have a lot of money. If it's between a person I love and a person I don't love who has a lot of money, I will choose the person I love. But I may not have such a person. I believe love can grow out of our effort. If a rich person is in love with me and I don't love another, I may try to grow our love by showing care and understanding. If I find no way to love such a person then I wouldn't marry the,
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
that is true, we must consider our every move, and especially when you are to marry. right? love can grow.. but i think it will take a lot of time... and yes as you have said... efforts. thank you very much for your response! happy mylotting!
@salonga (27965)
• Philippines
17 Nov 11
I will not marry anyone just because of money. I would only marry a person because I love him. If money is the reason for marrying, surely the ending will not be at all happy. Yes you have the money but money is not everything in this world. I just hope they remain together and hopefully this man remains faithful to the woman because chances are he would later look for a woman he really loves and have elicit affair at the back of his legal wife.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
thank you salonga for your response. that is right. money is not everything... it is far lesser than what other more important things in life, life itself, love, family, and contentment.
@SandeeE (346)
• United States
17 Nov 11
Ya know I believe many can eventually fall in love but I really could not do it. I am def. a hopeless romantic and I've learned that I cannot settle for less for many thing's such as looks, age etc. If someone I'm just not interested in and was interested in me and had a lot of money I still could not do it. It's wrong and in vain. So I believe everything obtained from this would also be invain and easily taken from you as easily as it came to you. More power to those that can though. To each his own. :]
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi Sandee. most of us really won't do it... but there are those whom has far more visions for their life than to fall in love. so they the chance that comes to them especially if it would help them advance in life. but yes that is true to each his own.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
17 Nov 11
I'm not a guy, and don't know if I could think like one but.... I could never marry for money. My aunt did that I don't think she's ever been truly happy even the money doesn't make you happy if love's not their. I don't think it's a smart idea at all! I think that if someone gives you something you are not as proud as if you earn it and you don't have the motivation to do your best unless you do it yourself!
@SandeeE (346)
• United States
17 Nov 11
I'm with you. I think you'd trully have to fake it to make it and I'm not that type of person. I do admit there are many out there but I would def. start to feel horrible and probably get depressed etc. I would def. rather work hard myself and be poor then go after a man with money.
@eknathh (24)
17 Nov 11
No not ofcourse...it will make our life like a hell.......
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
yeah, its hard if you would have to be with someone you do not love. thank you very much for your response! happy mylotting!
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
i think it has something to do with family ties and traditions. i can answer because the family that i belong to does not oblige any to marry because of family traditions. i believe the guy married the woman because he knows it does not contradict anything in his family traditions. if i belong in that family, i may have probably followed.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
that's true, it can depend really from one family to another, one culture to another.. but most say or at least hopes to have their sons and daughters be married off to a wonderful family with money! Guess this is what most are not really aware but is already doing.
@mandylee (267)
• China
16 Nov 11
i can't say if the guy right or not.i think this situation happens everywhere in the world!it all depends on the person.if someone want to success,he must grasp the chance and marry a wealthy woman,that's a best way
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
depends on someone's goal, values, beliefs and if they only want to be successful in one aspect - say material wealth then it is almost always the case that you should marry someone who is loaded with money and this should give you quite a head start.
@sunli123 (540)
• China
16 Nov 11
I don't know how to comment on this thing. After all, everyone has the right to choose a way to live. And I can undestand that people don't want to live a hard life. I don't want, too. I just think that love should be the base of marriage. Wish everyone could have a happy life~
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
very well said, everyone has got their choice and if they choose to live a convenient life... why not - it is their life afterall. :D
@sjvg1976 (14550)
• Delhi, India
16 Nov 11
Hello chiyosan, Certainly i would like to marry a girl not money and have done this already as i am married and i never thought of if my wife's family is rich or not. And perhaps people should not consider money a factor while marrying a girl they only should see if girl is good or not? Will she be able to fit in your family?.And many other things which must be seen than money.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
thank you for your response! :D
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
Well hope the guy is being faithful to his wife despite of that situation. Me that depends really, for practicality maybe yes maybe not. But still whats important to me is that hope the guy knows how to care then.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
I sure hope and think she is, otherwise it would have been known - or maybe it was then kept for the sake of the family. We all have different answers to this, but most do prefer to still marry for the right reason - love.
@enelym001 (8333)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
If I were the guy I would not marry a woman whom I don't love, it's not about being attracted with her only. But If someone decides to marry someone for money, sometimes along the way you will learn to love that person too especially if they have children already. Sometimes some people will have this remark even after a long time but who knows the guy had eventually love the girl after some years they got married. That's what I hate sometimes about people they tend to be judgmental and always thinks things will be forever that way.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
I would like to believe that he did, they had children and the children were all doing great too. =) thank you enelym for your response! Bless you!
@Aja103654 (5663)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
With the world in deep crisis as it is now, i think this situation calls for drastic measures. I think I would marry for money. Of course, I have to learn to love my spouse eventually. I'll make sure that my spouse is happy with me. Call it a partnership between two persons, not love. Well, at least initially you would have to get along with this spouse of yours. As i see it, the man did quite well for himself. His intentions were not all that evil, he did it for himself and he did well as a husband, father and businessman based on his success on the business and fathering now professional children. I would marry if I don't have any other choice. ASAP, i want to avoid that. I would rather marry someone i love and i'll make sure he is hardworking and able to provide the needs of a family. I'll work hard also.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
thank you aja for your response and well we all have different reasons and different needs for marriage, or relationships. For me, purely would be for love and not to someone i just met and not to someone who is wealthy and can provide well for me.
@evitz711 (66)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
Nowadays, I don't think every murmur of your neighbors or other person is important. Be practical.... That's the line.... Salute to the man who does that because he has the got to do that kind of risk... It only means that he already learn to love the person, not because of her money but maybe because of her good traits.. Before I dont believe in terms that a person can teach his/her heart who's going to love or not. But now, I do believe that as long as your good to your fellows and your not harming anybody, who cares what you do and who you love. I can say that I can marry a person for money, because I want a good future.
@chiyosan (29388)
• Philippines
16 Nov 11
I think you have a point there, being practical. But maybe it goes for some, but not most people. I for one would still not want all the riches, all i would want is a normal happy life, loved and loving. I want a good future, but i am willing to work for it - I know this man did work for it too, but i sure think he has had a lot of lead because of the sponsored money he got for his business... unlike most who starts up on their own.